the MRI results are back

I had my MRI earlier today, but I wasn't positive if the results would come back the same day (Friday) or after the weekend (Monday). I knew "urgent" & "rush" notations were at the top of my doctor's orders. And those words generally make test results happen faster.

Surprisingly, the results were up before doctor's offices closed. I could see that the MRI report had been added to my patient portal which also meant it had been sent to the Oncologist too. I quickly opened the results and began scanning the words. I have read a number of these over the years so I knew where to look to see if anything changed or looked the same.

Then my jaw dropped...

MRI Results

"Numerous (at least 10) left axillary lymph nodes are morphologically abnormal with the majority at least moderately enlarged. The axillary lymphadenopathy has noticeably increased in the interval since the CT chest acquired last month. The biopsied enlarged lymph node measures 2.1 cm in craniocaudal dimension, having previously measured 1.6 cm. An adjacent circumscribed lymph node which previously measured 0.9 cm now measures 1.3 cm in short axis. An even more medially positioned 1.8 cm lymph node was not clearly evident on the prior study. No distinct morphologically suspicious internal mammary lymph nodes are evident."

Basically, in a short amount of time (only a few weeks) - 

• Cancer has spread in my lymph nodes. 
• Cancerous lymph nodes have grown even bigger. 
• There is NO mass in my breast. 
• Not a Good Report.

I was hopefully that my Oncologist would call to discuss these results with me, but it was Friday at closing time, so instead of getting a call I was left to think about these results with no input or medical interpretation. I wondered why she put a rush order on them to not rush to read them and then rush my way to follow up with me instead of leaving me thinking about how bad it looks. So, I was on my own (again - this cancer journey has been very challenging to get my Oncologist to be responsive or even listen to me). 

I did realize that the results were so obviously different that anyone who can read my results would know it wasn't good news. Sadly, I wouldn't hear from my Oncologist until late Monday night. But, that is another story!

Inspirational Poem: Keep Going by Edgar Guest

(see below if you don't want to click link)

Keep Going

by Edgar Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

And the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns.

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow,

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than it seems

To a faint and faltering man.

Often the struggler has given up when he

Might have captured the victor's cup,

And he learned too late when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are.

It may be near when it seems afar.

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit.

It's when things seem worst that

You musn’t quit.