Time for me to play catch-up...
Like any person who lives in this world of doctors and illness and cancer and life, there comes a point when you need a mental break from it all. After a series of unexpected, uncontrollable, and unbelievable events... I had my fill.
Of course I did not truly get a break or even time off from the craziness... I just took time off from writing about it all. So now, I am back... I am back to share the roller coaster ride with those who are willing to ride along and think "I am so glad that is not me." or for those unfortunate readers "Crap... I am not alone."
So, let's pretend it is the beginning of May, I had gone to Vandy in search of some answers. When I got back home I followed up, like I was told, with my Breast Surgeon about that weird lump in my left breast. Since my mammogram was scheduled for June 1st, they rescheduled it for May. I was going to have my mammogram done early with an isolated ultrasound to look at the area around my left lump.
Me, my gown, and an empty room...
no really, it was like a bad horror movie.
Where did everyone go? I started off with some other women who must have either gotten the clear to leave or literally disappeared while I was changing... this is still a mystery?!?!
My May mammo was no different than my mammograms before, both breasts got their squeeze on by the mammogram machine. My right got a few additional squeezes because it is "special" and had the cancer. My left was only jealous until we made our way to the ultrasound room... where it got some one-sided treatment.
The ultrasound is just like one when you are having a baby, except that it is on the breast and it is very boring to look at. After finding the area in question (a black and grey fuzzy glob on the screen) the tech did multiple looks at the area and felt like it was just a tissue, fat, or cyst... meaning it looked like nothing to them. So, I was able to join my other fellow women and disappear out of the hospital! Overall, it was a pretty easy, uneventful day.
While this event is pretty boring... it comes into play later... so just remember I mentioned that when I get to July... and I am all ranting and acting like someone who needs additional medication or a psych jacket.
My Roller Coaster Life...
Earlier I compared the May-August to a roller coaster ride. When I did I immediately had an image jump into my mind. It was of a childhood coaster that seemed to be not only a good representation of my recent experiences, but also appropriately named...
As a young girl, I really looked forward to an occasional trip to Six Flags over Georgia. The hot days, the hilly terrain enjoying the old, no-longer around rides like Freefall (seeing if your spit would drop with you) & Looping Starship (hoping all the items crammed into your pockets would not spill out). However, the Mind Bender was the roller coaster to ride at the time. It was fast, it had loops and drops. It was long before the park was full of multiple steel coasters... and it is still around.
So, in honor of my childhood, my May Mammo was like the first part of the roller coaster... the simple beginning where you are not quite sure what is to come...
No turning back now...
Below the thunders of the upper deep,
Far, far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides; above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumbered and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge sea worms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
- The Kraken, Lord Alfred Tennyson