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Showing posts from 2016

The key to great sex... even with cancer

Vol 3 - Communication is KEY With  Sex Ed 101  over, it's time to focus on what might be the most important tip in creating a great sex life... communication. Right now you are thinking I am crazy. How do words create great sex? The truth is that sex is about communication. Discussing your needs, your fears, your desires, your wants, your don't wants, or your pleasures. Communication is the key to a successful sex life. Cancer creates so many issues. And how are we to know how we will react until we actually do? Cancer creates unplanned issues, not only on you, but on those around you. Sometimes the idea of sharing more problems or fears with your partner seems like another unfair burden to add on them. Some people can talk and share everything, while others withdraw. He sees you at your worst... post-surgical, scar-ridden, bald, while hurling over the toilet... and let's be honest, that isn't even the worst he is going to see. And his mindset has gone fro

Sex Ed 101

Vol. 2 - Learn your body Before you can understand why something isn't functioning they way you want, it is important to understand how it works. So, get prepared to be either curious, uncomfortable, bored, or re-informed (or all). Consider this a brief introduction into Female Sex Ed 101. Instead of giving you a full course (or many courses), I am going to try to highlight the important aspects of understanding how our female bodies work. Sexual health and anatomy are more complicated then my brief introduction, but I want to share my Cliff-note's version with you. Name that part...  Women come in all shapes and sizes. I figure you probably know that. And since we have been dealing with breast cancer, I know you understand we have breasts (sensual spots & milk factories). We also have... Fallopian Tubes (travel tubes for eggs). Ovaries (hormone function & egg control). Uterus (baby short term housing). Cervix (gateway from vagina to uterus). Vagina (po

Let's talk about sex

Vol. 1 - The elephant in the room The problem is we don't talk about sex, or even worse, about sexual problems. No one really wants to think about that part of our overall health, but sexual health is part of one's total health. To be honest, I don't even think any of my doctors has even brought up the topic. Not during pre-treatment, treatment, or post-treatment... it's been let's not talk about sex. Talking about sex is the elephant in the room. Let's be honest, our first priority tends to be surviving and managing cancer treatment. Sex is not exactly our first or even second thought. I am pretty sure that your first question after hearing you have cancer is not, "So let's talk about how that is going to affect me, sexually." Well, even if you do not ask that immediately, cancer affects sexuality. The impact on sex happens pretty fast. There are many hits to one's sexual self: fertility, physical changes from hair loss to bod

I am going to be a Bad Friend

Disclaimer: I am not going to be a good friend. It is not that I do not want to be a good friend. It is not that I am not doing my best. Honestly, I am just not able to be the friend I used to be. I still lecture my children "to have a friend you have to be a friend." It is true. I still believe it. Unfortunately, I just don't have it in me to be the friend I should be. I am barely able to be a good wife and mother... so, friends you'll just have to wait. Why I am a Bad Friend: 1. I do not feel good. I really don't. Things hurt. Things cramp. Things go numb. Things burn. Things swell. Things feel like baseball bats have been hitting them. I have countless problems and I never know which one is going to be my enemy each day. It is not some lame excuse to avoid doing things, I just feel bad. 2. I do not know when I am going to feel good. From the weather, to the day or hour, to whether or not I have already overdone it the previous day... I have no ide

May the 4th be with you!

It has been a whole year... a whole year since I have posted anything. I guess there could have been a few options for my absence: I died. I was to busy living that I couldn't write. I was to busy trying to function that I couldn't write. I didn't want to. I ... (enter any reason you want to imagine). Apparently #1 is not true. I am obviously alive. As for the other answers, they may all be true. I can't lie and say that I have not posted anything because I have been happily busy in my back-to-normal life. I never found a good back-to-normal life. I think I just found life... or a way to function in my surviorship. Heck, I am still trying to find a way to function. Mainly I have been busy dealing with crappy side effects, children and all that they bring, as well as just trying to function. For those who have post-treatment problems, you will understand that statement. I am functioning. Some days I function well... and other days, let's just say I am