Skip to main content

Let's talk about sex

Vol. 1 - The elephant in the room


The problem is we don't talk about sex, or even worse, about sexual problems.

No one really wants to think about that part of our overall health, but sexual health is part of one's total health. To be honest, I don't even think any of my doctors has even brought up the topic. Not during pre-treatment, treatment, or post-treatment... it's been let's not talk about sex.


Talking about sex is the elephant in the room.


Let's be honest, our first priority tends to be surviving and managing cancer treatment. Sex is not exactly our first or even second thought. I am pretty sure that your first question after hearing you have cancer is not, "So let's talk about how that is going to affect me, sexually."

Well, even if you do not ask that immediately, cancer affects sexuality. The impact on sex happens pretty fast. There are many hits to one's sexual self: fertility, physical changes from hair loss to body changes, the side effects of treatment, and those long-term or lasting effects. From self-image to fertility to physical responses, sexual health is affected.

Sex appears to be taboo, even for doctors. And as patients, it is almost like we're embarrassed to ask a sex question. If the doctor does not bringing it up, then who wants to admit that it is a problem... but it is. I mean we are already discussing graphic things, countless people are handling our boobs, so why not throw in "my vagina is dry", "it hurts when my breast are touched", "I am not orgasmic like I used to be"... I mean who wants to admit that?

It's time to talk about sex; address the elephant in the room.

I was fortunate, because I have a MPH in Human Sexuality. I was given knowledge and training that helped me. Without that insight I would be less able to cope or understand my body, thoughts, or general sexual health. I was lucky; it was like I had been given a sexual health manual for breast cancer. Over time I noticed I was one of the few that got that information. Honestly, I was surprised at the medical communities lack of addressing sexual health's impact from cancer.

Sexual health is not just the mechanics of sex, it goes beyond our physical responses. It is about how we feel about our own bodies. It is how we communicate our needs. It is about the physical responses and mechanics too. Cancer affects each of those areas in ways that can create short-term, long-term, or permanent changes. We are having to rediscover or address each of those areas while coping with cancer. Not an easy feat!

Sex and intimacy are about communication. Having the ability to share and discuss desires, fears, needs, and more with someone who can listen and share back. I am continually hearing comments from my breast cancer friends saying they have various problems since treatment. I have dealt with sexual side effects too. But who is listening and talking about sex and cancer?


Let's talk about sex!

I am planning to do a series that addresses multiple sexual health issues. I am hoping to share some of my educational knowledge, personal experiences, and questions from others. So, if you have sex question since breast cancer, please email me via the blog's contact link or email tatawars@tatawarrior.com. Hopefully, we can make talking about sex a little less intimidating.



Side note: Look for new posts addressing issues soon. Also, I am not a "medical professional", but I am willing address Sexological issues and hopefully let you know that you are not alone.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

my longest hardest day yet

Get ready boys and girls... today is a doozy. And a long post too! But before we begin on one of the toughest days I've ever done, let's recap. Mon: Irritating Onc day where I was not told about suspicious fluid around lung/heart in time to get a biopsy & I got contradicting info from his NP the week before.  Tues: Spending the morning getting Immunotherapy and 2 Chemotherapies before going straight to the airport to fly to Houston and enduring long rental car lines and afternoon heavy traffic. A few more checks off this weeks list... a few more to go: Now back to my Wednesday... the Humpday I would like to forget! So, after 8 hours of cancer treatment, flying, and travel in congested Houston the day before, I didn't have much rest because we had to start Wednesday early. My husband and I decided to walk to the medical center since our hotel was close. However, it was not necessarily the easiest or closest walk - tons of traffic, intersections, and some strange indivi...

happy birthday to me... almost

  Let's rewind a bit and start a few days before my birthday... I had my first cancer treatment day on October 3rd - check it out if you haven't read that blog post yet. Let's just think of it as an early birthday gift since my birthday is October 7th. Great gift, right?!? If I have to hear "Happy Early" or "Late Birthday" from another medical person, I might have to smack someone. Especially, since I have spent most of the weeks leading up to and after my birthday at a medical appointment regarding cancer. Not really loving my birthday this year. Let's just say, on my birthday, I woke up with a special chemo-side-effect-surprise at 2am. That fun surprise I will share later... Rewind a Few Days... Update But first, let's go to October 4th, the day after my grueling 8 hours of immunotherapy and two chemotherapies on the 3rd. I woke up swollen, red faced, and fevering, as well as feeling pretty crummy. I didn't have time to dwell on it since I...

from chemo to pee to future rad things

Another week of doctor's appointments and my 2nd week of chemo is complete. I spent about 5-6 hours getting 2 chemotherapies (check me on picture to right, headed into treatment on a very early Tuesday morning). I am super proud of myself. It was a long day, and I have some issues with nausea so they have to push the chemotherapies a bit slower to help me out. And despite feeling pretty tired, right after chemo, I went to the Urologist... well actually his NP. I am not sure if the appointment was successful or not. Mainly, she just prescribed me medicine.  Why? Who doesn't want to hear about my pee issues?!? Not that I hold back from the insanity that revolves around my life and cancer. Plus, I think it is good to share that cancer causes crazy side effects - so others know they are not alone. For me, this cancer go-round, I happen to have bladder issues. My ability to hold pee is going haywire... mainly at night. Because why not? It's not like I don't already have enou...