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Showing posts from 2017


I love fall, it is my favorite time of the year. Instead of fall colors, I am surrounded by pink. Everywhere I look I see breast cancer paraphernalia being marketed and displayed. Companies look charitable. Social media is ablaze. The world is turning pink. I live pink. It is not just a Pinktober thing. Breast cancer has infiltrated my life, it is here year round. Pinktober is a double-sided sword for me. On one side I am grateful to whatever it takes to get people motivated, involved, concerned, donating, caring, or active in the cancer community. Then there is the other side, the part that makes almost all breast cancer survivors cringe… the blatant misrepresentation and misuse of all things Pinktober. Ironically, the whole breast cancer awareness month was created by a drug company. October was labeled National Breast Cancer Awareness Month where pink ribbons and merchandise began being sold without any regard to education or awareness. Breast cancer activists, like the fight

A Wanting World

The world seems off. The world seems off, and I am realizing how cancer has taught me something the world is missing. Throughout my cancer, I believe my focus has been on finding humor and joy in living. I have spent my time writing on ways to love life despite the cancerous black cloud looming around my body. I have wanted to share my twisted sense of humor in the hopes of inspiring others to possibly do the same. Cancer is a horrible terrible bad thing. It is something that often makes finding a positive hard. Yet, there are so many people who have found good things despite (and possibly because of) cancer. People who have learned lessons, including the meaning of appreciating life. The world seems off, yet, we (the cancerous) seem to have knowledge they are missing. The value of life. The appreciation of living. The fact that all the small things do not matter. The fact that we are all trying to love, live peacefully, and be healthy... and that we want that for others too!

A question of beauty?

A while back, I had a medical appointment where my daughter went with me. It was right before her 10th birthday, so she was a typical 9-year-old girl... and happened to have long hair. At the appointment, the nurse practitioner commented to her, "Don't you think your mommy should grow out her hair, like yours? She would look so good." The way she said it wasn't malice. It wasn't meant to be rude or mean. She said it in a very "nice" way. However, it bothered me. And it bothered me more later... the more I thought about it. The funny thing is I never minded losing my hair during my treatment, so I wondered why it bothered me at all now. Cancer makes you feel bonded with other cancer patients and survivors. There is an understanding - a kinship - that occurs within the cancer community. And I do understand, and respect, why many women are bothered by the cancer baldness - as losing one's hair is traumatic on an already traumatic cancer dia

A Different Point of View

Vol. 9 - Another Perspective Cancer does not just affect you. It is not just your sex life that is affected. Your partner is also along for this cancer journey. The role of care giver is hard and often overlooked. The care giver is coping with everything you are, just in a different way. Not only are they impacted by caring for you, they are facing many unsure possibilities. Their emotions are as erratic as yours. Your partner is in the cancer trenches with you, so remember to give them a break if they seem tired or weary or possibly unsure as to handle intimacy. Considering everything you have gone through and all the changes you have faced with cancer, it is normal for you to have fear-based questions in your head. Does s/he find me attractive? How can s/he, if I don't feel attractive? And considering everything your partner has gone through, it is normal for them to have fear-based questions in his/her head. Will I hurt you? What feels good now? How do I make

Sexual Problems Breakdown

Vol. 8 The More You Know Here is a cheat sheet addressing sexual health problems and cancer treatment. I found it online & made some modifications, and hopefully it will be helpful. Chart of female sexual problems & cancer treatment Treatment Low sexual desire Less vaginal moisture Reduced vaginal size Painful intercourse Trouble reaching orgasm Infertility Chemotherapy Sometimes Often Rarely – only if linked to menopause Often Rarely Often Pelvic radiation therapy Often, if sex is linked with pain Often Often Often Rarely Often Radical hysterectomy Rarely Often* Often Rarely Rarely Always Radical cystectomy Rarely Often* Always Sometimes Sometimes Always Abdominoperineal (AP) resection Rarely Often* Sometimes Sometimes Rarely Sometimes* Total pelvic exenteration with vaginal reconstruction Sometimes Always Sometimes