Episode LXXI - They send a camera up your uh-oh...
I am going to start collecting doctors... really. I should have some weird collecting cards for all the different medical genres that I have been to during the past year. Today, I went to the Gastroenterologist... meaning nothing fun can come from the visit!
Over the past few weeks I had some bowel changes. Eww. I know, I went there. The best way to explain it was to say the the color faded. Nothing like pale poo. The color had returned slightly with an orange tint. Eww. I know, I went there again.
I would like to assume it was medicinal changes, since I am on new medicine or maybe a gallbladder issue. Of course with any change I need a new specialist to check it out. So, like all new doctor's appointments I arrived with my stack of papers filled out including all my medical history and prescriptions. Then I waited and waited... like I said a normal appointment.
The office was mostly full of older patients. Again I am rocking the youth perspective in my doctor's offices. The two people (over 70) in front of me started filling out their prescription paperwork and had to bring out their cheat sheets of 10+ medicines. It always amazes me how many medicines we are all on. I was pretty proud that I have dwindled mine down to 2 - even though I should be on more I just don't want to take any extra medicines after the past year. I am trying to be as drug-free as possible.
When I made it back to the doctor's waiting rooms I was shocked, there were chair options?!?!?!
This can't be a good sign...
Out of all the doctors I have been to, I have never had the option to sit in a comfortable chair. The cushy leather chair was lovely and felt pretty good on my back. A bonus considering it hurt from the hard front office chairs. However, was the chair a decoy... a way to warm me up before they had me drop my drawers and do something unspeakable to me?
I survived the visit with my pants still in tack and without having to have a physical backside exam. The Oncologist had requested to do a Colonoscopy, so I was getting a Colonoscopy. I tried to weasel my way out of it and asked about an ultrasound or something less invasive first. Of course, he wanted to be safe and check me out... all the way out... to my colon.
Not thrilled, but at least I got to stay dressed!
In my head...
More tests. More exams. More of the same. The doctors were getting to know me inside and out.
I am not thrilled about the Colonoscopy, but considering all that I have been through it was just another test. Sure it was an uncomfortable procedure, but at least I will be sufficiently drugged during the procedure. The three days before prepping with my diet and laxatives might create more challenges. Nothing like being told that your getting a little poking and prodding to make a girl's day!!!
“My pain may be the reason for somebody's laugh.
But my laugh must never be the reason for somebody's pain.”
- Charles Chaplin
Episode Reference: Homer Simpson's Colonoscopy video