Skip to main content

Shot to the gut...

Episode XXXVIII - Lose Yourself


Neulasta Shot #6


I had unfortunately had a pretty rough nauseous night, so going in for the Neulasta shot was less appealing than normal. To try and help put me in a good mood I purposely put on my happy, bright color shirt & cap. I was willing to pretty much do anything to keep my attitude positive and I nothing like bringing a little cheer into the cancer center!



Here I go again...


Treatment for Neulasta was so simple. It amazes me each time how quickly the process was... check in, go to short term treatment, sit down, take shot, and leave. Usually it takes around 15 minutes and painless. Painless, because I do not have an issue with shots. Plus, as many times I am stuck with a needle for chemo, the small shot seems minor. Unfortunately, the side effects were not minor!


A room with a view. Getting a tiny shot...


Some days you knowingly walk into a world of trouble. Each time I walk into treatment for the Neulasta shot I knew that it was going to be a tough week. While I do not dread the shot, I do not look forward to the pain that it brings. It was an unavoidable necessary evil! I understand that. I recognize that. I even respect that. However, I do not enjoy it!!!


The reality the shot brings me...


The pain that something so small can cause was dumbfounding. Each treatment has created it's own challenges. For me, I seem to be affected either Top to Bottom or Bottom to Top:

Top to Bottom

The shot will start the bone pain in my jaw and neck. It will work its way down my body. Usually, when it starts this way, I will be unable to eat for a day or two without major discomfort. Each bite of food will feel as if it was breaking my jaw when I chew. It will work its way throughout my body. Usually making breathing challenging (rib cage pain) and walking difficult (hip & knee pain).

Bottom to Top

The shot will start the bone pain in my legs. It will work its way up my body. Usually, when it starts this way, I will be unable to walk easily due to my knees feeling like they will snap. My hips and knees will be in so much discomfort that it will convince my brain that I am incapable of walking. However I will walk, just in severe pain. Eating will be less difficult, but my neck will still feel incapable of holding my head.

The treatment I had was definitely Bottom to Top. I was grabbing the end of the bed when I walked or should I say wobbled. The distance from the bed to the toilet seemed like a long distance track. Getting back into bed seemed like a monumental task... where was my adjustable bed option?!


Neulasta is to Bane what I am to Batman!


Unfortunately, both ways will provide an overall body pain that I cannot truly describe. The pain will intensify and linger until eventually it gradually fades. There was no way to determine how long or short it would last as each time it was different. I am not sure if I will ever get used to it, but I refuse to let it damper my spirits!


In my head...


I can officially say I am halfway through with the Taxotere treatment! I only have two more shots to endure... which I am very grateful for. Each one of these treatments tests my resolve and the resolve of those around me. My poor family, the more I linger in pain the more they often have to watch and listen to my insane rantings. I suppose I am allowed a tiny bit of understanding. That or they need to just lock me away in my room for a week... I better not give them that option!!!



“If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane.” 
- Robert Frost


Episode Reference: Lose Yourself, Eminem song

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

my longest hardest day yet

Get ready boys and girls... today is a doozy. And a long post too! But before we begin on one of the toughest days I've ever done, let's recap. Mon: Irritating Onc day where I was not told about suspicious fluid around lung/heart in time to get a biopsy & I got contradicting info from his NP the week before.  Tues: Spending the morning getting Immunotherapy and 2 Chemotherapies before going straight to the airport to fly to Houston and enduring long rental car lines and afternoon heavy traffic. A few more checks off this weeks list... a few more to go: Now back to my Wednesday... the Humpday I would like to forget! So, after 8 hours of cancer treatment, flying, and travel in congested Houston the day before, I didn't have much rest because we had to start Wednesday early. My husband and I decided to walk to the medical center since our hotel was close. However, it was not necessarily the easiest or closest walk - tons of traffic, intersections, and some strange indivi

happy birthday to me... almost

  Let's rewind a bit and start a few days before my birthday... I had my first cancer treatment day on October 3rd - check it out if you haven't read that blog post yet. Let's just think of it as an early birthday gift since my birthday is October 7th. Great gift, right?!? If I have to hear "Happy Early" or "Late Birthday" from another medical person, I might have to smack someone. Especially, since I have spent most of the weeks leading up to and after my birthday at a medical appointment regarding cancer. Not really loving my birthday this year. Let's just say, on my birthday, I woke up with a special chemo-side-effect-surprise at 2am. That fun surprise I will share later... Rewind a Few Days... Update But first, let's go to October 4th, the day after my grueling 8 hours of immunotherapy and two chemotherapies on the 3rd. I woke up swollen, red faced, and fevering, as well as feeling pretty crummy. I didn't have time to dwell on it since I

giving your 16 year old scissors

New Traditions Losing my hair - it's going to happen. When I did this in 2013, I waited to cut my hair once I was further in treatment. I didn't want to do that again. I didn't want to do it while I felt sore and bad. This time, I wanted to get rid of my hair before treatment.  Since I will have now done this more than once, it can be considered a tradition: cancer haircuts by my kids . Last time I did this, the kids were 6 and 13. So, this time around my son (23) opted not to cut, but watched some.   However, my 16 year old daughter leapt at the opportunity to cut my hair. Even though 10 years have gone by, she had to adhere to a few basic rules. Basic Rules: 1. Do not cut my ears. 2. Do not cut your own hair. 3. Do not cut anyone else's hair. These rules still hold up and are the general agreement we make before I put scissors in my kid's hands to chop on my hair!  And the tradition isn't the same without going outside (weather permitting) and listening to our