My cancer saga started when I was diagnosed at 38 with Stage 3 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. I have a twisted sense of humor and have tried to continue with laughter and optimism on my journey...

There's a lump in my boob

Episode I: A lump, or not a lump

Just like any other night, it was late enough that the kids were asleep and the TV was actually on something we wanted to watch. I had just taken off my bra to let the girls get some freedom and opted to get a snack from the pantry. In my normal sassy manner, I made some inappropriate crass comment while gently flipping my hands down my chest. I didn't make it all the way down, because I felt something - something that should not be there.

At first I thought it was in my head, but I felt the same spot on the top of my right breast a few more times before I dared mention it out loud. Then I immediately asked my hubby to come over and see if it was really there, like I did not know. As one would imagine, he wasn't going to NOT take an opportunity to feel my boobs.

After feeling the lump easily when I was in an upright position and barely feeling it while laying down, we determined that the lump was actually a lump. It was like I had to really make sure it was there. While knowing it was a lump, I thought of all the other things could have caused it: the recent throwing of a football in the backyard, the dog yanking at the leash during a walk, or other things that could have stressed or strained me.

Ironically, I found the lump the night before a scheduled doctor's appointment.

4-18-2013 - Confirmed: there's a lump in my boob

So the next morning, after dropping the kids off to school, I headed over to the doctor's office for my regularly scheduled check-up. However, when I got to the front desk and filled out the information sheet I added breast lump to the list of ailments. Then I sat down to wait my turn...

After being weighed, blah, and pre-screened by the nurse she handed me the open front shirt that I am to wear to be examined. I am not sure who designed these tiny paper shirts, but really could they be any uglier? I focused on trying to somewhat cover my lady parts even though they were going to be seen and touched shortly.

The exam was normal: a small talk conversation while some guy manipulated my breasts. The whole time I just hoped the sweat from my pits wasn't so bad that it would make my skin into a slip-n-slide for his hand. When we got to the spot he confirmed the lump was there, but hard to feel. Of course, I was like no the lump is bigger when the weight of my boob succumbs to gravity.

He asked me my age again, 38. The doctor was not sure about the lump, since I was under 40 he thought that the lump was more than likely fibrous tissue. Because I had not had a mammogram before, he opted to set me up for a diagnostic mammogram. The doctor told me that someone would call to schedule my appointment and we moved on to the other issues on my information sheet.

In my head...

My breasts have always been pretty much lump-less. This lump was new and could or could not be something bad. I am going to keep the attitude that: No news is good news. If I sit around and worry, what good will it do me...? None. So, I am not going to waste my time on worry.

"You will find only what you bring in." - Yoda

Episode Reference: "To Be or Not To Be" Hamlet's Soliloquy - William Shakespeare

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About happihare

Amy Brock is a cancer fighter and survivor. Diagnosed with Infiltrating Breast Cancer at 38 she has gone through chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, hormone therapy, and other procedures since 2013. Post treatment she has been diagnosed with lymphedema, chemo-induced neuropathy and bone degeneration in her back, as well as other issues including dysphagia, bilateral hearing loss, and arthritis. From being completely healthy, to having a variety of issues, Amy began blogging about her experiences as a way to help others. Read more about finding humor in the craziness of cancer at her blog Amy is the mother of two children and has worked for various non-profit agencies. In addition, she is a fine artist creating works in multiple mediums which can be seen at


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