TaTa Wars

I am very grateful hysterectomies have changed over the last few years. I do not have to undergo the invasive surgical procedures many women before me have endured, including longer recovery times. Now it is faster, safer, and easier to recover. Since I am always getting poked and prodded, it is comforting to think it will be easier and less painful. At this point, I have decided to get off my cancer medications, because I will have to get on a different kind after the hysterectomy, as I will be post-menopausal. I figure, I might as well get a few good weeks before having to take them again. What's a Robotic Hysterectomy (& Oophorectomy - ovaries removed)? During a robotic hysterectomy, your surgeon makes five small incisions in your abdomen to provide access for surgical tools. Through these incisions, your surgeon detaches your uterus, and for me, ovaries and fallopian tubes from surrounding tissues.   If you ever get a chance to watch one of th...

Cancer survivors are always wondering and waiting to see if something is going to happen, so it is only natural to worry when something is "off". Then when something turns out to be abnormal more testing and follow-ups are needed. It seems like a continual wave of worries. Sometimes our worries turn out to be issues. Sometimes our worries turn out to be nothing. Either way, we are going to worry... it's just an issue of determining how much and when we should really worry. Finding out my endometrium lining was so thick meant I needed to get a biopsy. What's an Endometrial Biopsy? An endometrial biopsy is a medical procedure in which a small piece of tissue from the lining of the uterus (the endometrium) is removed for examination under a microscope. The removed tissue is examined for cancer or any other cell abnormalities.  Lucky me. Right?  Now I get to go back the GYN only a few days after my initial exa...

As cancer survivors, we all have a worry that lingers in the back of our minds waiting for bad news. Most of the time we will be told things are good, keep moving forward. We feel a sigh of relief and move on until the next test or scan or weird symptom. We all have those moments. Moments of fear and worry, especially when waiting on a test or scan results. As with all things, there are times the results come back indicating something is wrong. I had that moment only a month ago. Oops... it's been awhile! I had honestly forgot about going to my GYN. I mean, I go to so many doctors that I avoided the ones that seemed less important on my importance scale. My breasts are getting examined by multiple doctors every few months, along with my hormone levels. And I was technically menopausal (medicinally), so I wasn't worried about pregnancy. So, I took time away from the GYN until my mother reminded me it had been too long. And like most mothers, she was right. When I sche...

This is me... ... this is how I feel 95% of the time. The other 5% is full of great moments and hot-mess moments. Yet, most of my days consists of hanging on. Sure, most people are doing the same thing. They are fumbling their way through life. I have yet to meet a person who doesn't have some issue or life problem or illness. We all have something! We are either following very defined paths or spontaneously deciding what to do next. Just making it through the day and all the difficulties life brings as you attempt to be "responsible". I tend to fall between the two. I have a plan, but often spontaneously do something different. However, I am also coping with a thousand problematic issues making daily living... well... challenging. Challenging is a nice way of saying, it sucks. Things most people do without even thinking. Chopping vegetables. I mean when did carrots get so hard or even green peppers? Carrying groceries. What happened to the good ole' day...

I love fall, it is my favorite time of the year. Instead of fall colors, I am surrounded by pink. Everywhere I look I see breast cancer paraphernalia being marketed and displayed. Companies look charitable. Social media is ablaze. The world is turning pink. I live pink. It is not just a Pinktober thing. Breast cancer has infiltrated my life, it is here year round. Pinktober is a double-sided sword for me. On one side I am grateful to whatever it takes to get people motivated, involved, concerned, donating, caring, or active in the cancer community. Then there is the other side, the part that makes almost all breast cancer survivors cringe… the blatant misrepresentation and misuse of all things Pinktober. Ironically, the whole breast cancer awareness month was created by a drug company. October was labeled National Breast Cancer Awareness Month where pink ribbons and merchandise began being sold without any regard to education or awareness. Breast cancer activists, like the fight...

The world seems off. The world seems off, and I am realizing how cancer has taught me something the world is missing. Throughout my cancer, I believe my focus has been on finding humor and joy in living. I have spent my time writing on ways to love life despite the cancerous black cloud looming around my body. I have wanted to share my twisted sense of humor in the hopes of inspiring others to possibly do the same. Cancer is a horrible terrible bad thing. It is something that often makes finding a positive hard. Yet, there are so many people who have found good things despite (and possibly because of) cancer. People who have learned lessons, including the meaning of appreciating life. The world seems off, yet, we (the cancerous) seem to have knowledge they are missing. The value of life. The appreciation of living. The fact that all the small things do not matter. The fact that we are all trying to love, live peacefully, and be healthy... and that we want that for others too!...

A while back, I had a medical appointment where my daughter went with me. It was right before her 10th birthday, so she was a typical 9-year-old girl... and happened to have long hair. At the appointment, the nurse practitioner commented to her, "Don't you think your mommy should grow out her hair, like yours? She would look so good." The way she said it wasn't malice. It wasn't meant to be rude or mean. She said it in a very "nice" way. However, it bothered me. And it bothered me more later... the more I thought about it. The funny thing is I never minded losing my hair during my treatment, so I wondered why it bothered me at all now. Cancer makes you feel bonded with other cancer patients and survivors. There is an understanding - a kinship - that occurs within the cancer community. And I do understand, and respect, why many women are bothered by the cancer baldness - as losing one's hair is traumatic on an already traumatic cancer dia...