Episode LXXXVII - give it away now...
Back to the Gynecologist for an ultrasound. After I saw some ovarian cysts noted in one of my reports I had an ultrasound back in June. Today I was going back to recheck my ovaries to see if any changes had occurred since the last visit. I expect to find very boring, non-cysted ovaries...
About to go to check out my ovaries...
I signed in at the front desk and took a seat in the waiting room, The office is full of people... mostly pregnant people. The large office was packed of couples awaiting appointments. I am always conflicted when I am in the office.
On one hand, I am so excited for all of the pregnant women. I talk to them and bask in their joy. I remember those days... not necessarily the joy of pregnancy (because I spent both pregnancies very ill), but the excitement of becoming a parent. Babies. Babies. Babies. They are so cute and sweet and wonderful. And they grow up!!!! I cannot believe that my children are 14 and 7... has it really been that long ago?!?!
Then on the other hand, I am thrilled that I will not have to do those late night hours or deal with all of the care that goes into parenting an infant. I have had such a long year and I can barely handle what I have now. I cannot believe that right before I found out I had cancer we had discussed having more children. We really wanted more kids, but knew that financially it would be a challenge and we were getting too old. So, we practically decided not to expand our family. I was grieving that idea and boom... cancer. I completely forgot about anything but surviving. Plus with the type of cancer I had any idea of birthing more children was gone. So now I sit here thinking how grateful I am to not be pregnant. I mean having kids is great... but they do become teenagers!!!
I knew it was going to be a long wait. However, it seemed much longer than normal. There was a sign that stated if you were waiting longer than 30 minutes to please tell the receptionist. So, I did.
Then after another period of time I heard my first name called. I was sitting in the back so I put down my magazine and turned around to see a woman walk to the nurse. She took her back. Well, I guess there's another person with my name. So, I sat back down. Then after a ridiculously long wait, I went up to the receptionist and talked with her again. She told me she was going to check. They always say that. I mean it had been at least an hour. Come on!!!
Finally, I heard my name ring out again and I made my way to the nurse. I was thrilled to be called because before I arrived I was told that I had to drink a massive amount of water and hold it. I was suppose to have a full bladder. I had been sitting in the lobby about to explode for the past hour. The first words out of my mouth were that I had to pee... really bad!!!
I asked why I could not go to the bathroom before the ultrasound. The nurse looked at me with an odd look and said, "But you've already had it." I looked at her and said, "No. You just called me back." She looked at my chart and was confused. We discussed that I was having a transvaginal ultrasound and that she had images already taken. Well, they were not mine. Seriously!!
I had been given the wrong pre-procedure instructions. (Seriously... only me!) So she sent me to the bathroom while she tried to figure out what happened. It seems the girl (who shares my first name) was given a transvaginal ultrasound. My transvaginal ultrasound to view ovaries. We shared the first same name and she seemed to believe she had one scheduled. I mean I cannot imagine wanting that type of ultrasound unless you needed it. Seriously!!!
After multiple apologizes and a bathroom break I was finally back in the ultrasound room, I got undressed from the waist down and climbed onto the chair. Then I scooted my bottom to the end of the chair and put my feet in the stirrups. Then me and the tech got intimate...
The transvaginal ultrasound (that both Amy's got today) consisted of inserting the ultrasound wand into the vaginal canal. They guide the wand inside until they get enough images of both ovaries. Basically, I am getting molested by the technician... and the pressure needed to get good images of my ovaries was not a pleasant experience.
The ultrasound wand... probing all Amy's...
The ultrasound was not painful, but it was uncomfortable. There was some pushing and pressure to find the best angles. Normally, I would have to go wait in the lobby again, but because of the crazy mix-up I was given the next available room.
Soon the Gyno stopped by to discuss my ultrasound images. The cysts had changed. One had gone away and the other looked smaller. So nothing appeared abnormal. All good news. Then we discussed my symptoms (some cramping and my Tamoxifen side effects). She thought about everything and decided she wanted to run a blood test to check my estrogen levels. I mean we need to know that I am not producing estrogen... I do not want to be in all this misery for nothing!!!
A vile of blood later...
A few days later, it was official... my blood work results showed that I was in menopause. My estrogen was basically gone and the Tamoxifen was doing it's job. As much as I cannot stand the medicine it was doing what it was suppose to do.
In my head...
I am officially old... well at least my body is. I might be young on the outside, but I am old on the inside. Like every one says - menopause sucks. But I will be living with it for the remainder of my years so I better get used to it!!!
The main thing I learned was to confirm that it is or is not your turn when other people respond to your name. That you may or may not be giving your appointments (and odd procedures) to strangers. I cannot imagine what that other lady was thinking... probably why are they sticking that thing up my... Surprise!!!
“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”
- W.C. Fields
Reference Episode: Give it Away, Red Hot Chili Peppers song