Episode XXII: Gotta Get Up and Try Try Try
I got my toxic butt out of bed and made my way to my afternoon appointment. With only a consistent mildly nauseated stomach, I headed out for my 3rd Neulasta shot. The one great thing about the appointment was how fast it was. I basically walk in, sign in, take a pass, walk to short-term treatment, and pick out a seat. Super fast and involves no blood work or payment. One positive about that treatment.
Hit me with your best shot... Pat Benatar song
So, I did my normal shot procedure... I sat and waited briefly. Then I pulled down the top of my shorts and got a shot in the tummy. Each time was a different side. The shot doesn't hurt or at least it doesn't hurt me. However, I do not mind shots.
Coolest trash can that was right near my seat!
I recommended that they gave out cool goody-bags that had the toxic or bio-hazardous labels on them. While not all patients would appreciate them, I thought how cool it would be to have something like the trash can or toxic bag they bring the medicines out in.
After my idea was turned down, I headed home. Of course I have chemo brain and yes its a real term... click here if you need to proof. I drove halfway home with my car brake on... I am an idiot. While the shot doesn't kick in immediately it does cause some bone pain.
By the evening... Making trips to the bathroom seem like mile walks. Eating a small meal turns into a few hour event. Often it makes any human contact painful... don't touch me or I will... well, I won't do anything cause I can't lift my arm to do anything. I feel like I have tiny T-Rex arms that were just keeping things out of reach.
Me and my bald head doing a horizontal nothing.
I did make my way outside once and it was funny. My son was throwing ball with my mother and accidentally threw it my way. Thank goodness a chair was in front of me to block the impact. However, I couldn't move so I just tensed up ready to take the hit. My mother was surprised at how slow my reaction was because normally I would just catch and throw it back at him. Instead, I just reacted ready for pain. I think my legs barely raised off the ground and my arms pulled in a few inches. I closed my eyes in case it was going to hit my face. It was really funny and kinda pathetic. However, that tiny jolt made me decide to move back inside... I have officially become a weenie!!
In my head...
The shot was like the cherry on a sundae. It adds the final touch to my chemo treatments, however it was a nasty rotten cherry! And the sundae was made of rotten bananas and moldy ice cream. But it was my sundae and I have to eat it!
The more AC chemo I have the more it compounds the side effects. The more I take the longer I take to recover. My fatigue has increased. My constipation has increased. My other side effects have increased. While I can still laugh, sometimes it was harder to do... I think I am too tired or too dense to get the joke some times.
"I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am."
-Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
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