Episode XCV - Run Away! Run Away!
Once I got to the office I was bombarded by paperwork. This doctor requires me to complete certain forms every visit. I was prepared and brought a cheat sheet listing my medications. Last time I watched an elderly woman write what seemed like a long list of medications down. This time, it was me doing the same thing. Seriously, if I am going to be taking an arsenal of medications at least a few of them should be "good"?!?!
After getting my vitals, I was off to wait on the doctor in the exam room. Like I mentioned last time in my blog, his rooms have cushy leather chairs. They are not like any other doctor's office I have been too. The chairs are almost too comfortable. It makes me have that feeling of too good to be true. So, I am constantly wondering about them...
Me wondering about what the comfy chair means?!?!
I am not sure if they are there because you have to wait forever... which I really waited close to an hour. Or if it might be because a lot of the patients are old and he wants to make them feel comfortable. Or is it some evil genius plan to soften and relax your backside before the doctor performs the examination?
I was lucky this visit! Besides an abdominal exam, my rear was left untouched. The doctor and I discussed the options to aid in my current (lack) of bowel movements. The fact that my previous colonoscopy looked pretty good and now he has a baseline. So, his main focus was that he plans to do a colonoscopy every 5 years due to my cancer diagnosis.... great... joy... RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
In my head...
Even though I find the GI appointment the easiest to joke about, the GI doctor is really nice. The appointment is harmless and even if he had to do a rectal exam, there are worse things in the world. However, those are not something I look forward too. Run away! Run away!
I know he is being cautious since I now have a history of cancer, but a colonoscopy every 5 years... I am 40... that is going to be a lot of prep to drink in my future!!! I don't care about the bottom raping... it is the prep for the colonscopy that is so bad. Thank goodness I have 4 years before I have to think about it!!!
“Do you run away or toward?”
- Richard Powers, Orfeo
Episode Reference: Killer Rabbit, Monty Python & the Holy Grail clip