Skip to main content

What the Tamoxifen?!?!

Episode LXIX - ... maybe we'll find better days...

Really Tamoxifen... really?!?! The first day I took the pill I was fine. I took it the afternoon I got it and went about my day. The next day I took my pill and was fine until that evening. However, as the day progressed I had an achy feeling. I thought, man I am sore today - I might need some Tylenol or something. I felt a little off. By that evening I had felt as if I had taken the Neulasta shot again.

BAM! WHAM! HOLY MOLY! The bone pain was almost unbearable. I was completely shocked at how much I ached. It was like I ran smack into the pain wall all over again. I was hoping it was just a bad day...

Not again... bone pain hurts!!!

I would like to say I woke up, shook it off, and everything was fine. That would be too easy and untrue. After multiple days of having severe bone pain and looking on the internet to see if other people had this reaction (which some did) I had to call the doctor. I really hate calling the doctor.

I know... I know... I should advocate for my own health. If I don't no one will, but I still hate calling. Not only do I feel like I am whining sometimes, I know that there is a 75-90% chance that they will not have anything to help. It is not that they do not want to help, but usually they give the same "Sorry, side-effects" comment that basically makes me scratch my head and think then why did you want me to tell you. If you can't really do anything then what is the point, other than to know I feel like crap.

I was told it was not a common side effect, but I should give the medicine at least 2 weeks to adjust in my body and hopefully it would sort itself out. Surprise - not - kind of what I expected and not exactly the answer I was looking for. However, I was going to endure it. I have done this before. I just hoped that the intensity of pain would subside!!!

Since the bone pain was my biggest PAIN, the other side effects were tiny annoyances... annoyances that I cared very little about and knew that I could manage (most of the time).

Hot Flashes

Just like most people with hot flashes - I turn red, I feel like an internal furnace was lit, and I hope it ends soon. Sometimes it can last minutes. Sometimes it can go on forever.

No Menstruation

I am not going to complain about this one. Before cancer I didn't have a period due to the depo-shot (birth control). Then during chemo treatment it caused menopause, so no more period. Since I can not have any more hormones, once again menopause... no more period!


A wonderful side effect that just will not go away - my swollen hands, feet, and face. On good days, due to the diuretic my toes might be able to be spread apart when I stretch them. Seriously, I am thrilled when I can see space between my toes!!!

Memory Issues

I cannot even write about memory issues or forgetfulness... I will be lucky if this blog post is coherent!!!

Trouble Sleeping

I never know when I will or will not be able to sleep at night. Thank goodness for the internet and all of the distractions it brings. I cannot really be productive because I fear waking everyone up, so I get to browse the web and write my blog posts (or try and catch up on them)!

In my head...

I am hopeful that after I have more time I will adjust to Tamoxifen. Maybe I will begin to feel better or at least feel well enough to cope. Now my bones feel like they are splintering, from my ankle to upper back. It is frustrating as I was hoping to get back to some type of routine, exercise, and life without serious discomfort. Argh!

Walking as much as I can... in pain!

While it has been a couple of weeks since I started the medicine, I am slightly better. I am over the 2 week mark from the doctors and I am going to see how long I can endure before I call again. At least I am not where I began. For the first 3-4 days of the medicine I could not walk or move without serious pain. Now I am up and about even though it hurts. I have learned I can do one thing a day... realistically. And that one thing will usually take me down later.

However, I continue to take my walk. It has to be good for me even if it hurts. However, I have to use a heating pad as soon as I get home for about double the time I walked. Each step feels like I am breaking bones, but as always I keep putting one foot in front of the other.

“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” 
- Sigmund Freud

Episode Reference: Better Days, Goo Goo Dolls song


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

giving your 16 year old scissors

New Traditions Losing my hair - it's going to happen. When I did this in 2013, I waited to cut my hair once I was further in treatment. I didn't want to do that again. I didn't want to do it while I felt sore and bad. This time, I wanted to get rid of my hair before treatment.  Since I will have now done this more than once, it can be considered a tradition: cancer haircuts by my kids . Last time I did this, the kids were 6 and 13. So, this time around my son (23) opted not to cut, but watched some.   However, my 16 year old daughter leapt at the opportunity to cut my hair. Even though 10 years have gone by, she had to adhere to a few basic rules. Basic Rules: 1. Do not cut my ears. 2. Do not cut your own hair. 3. Do not cut anyone else's hair. These rules still hold up and are the general agreement we make before I put scissors in my kid's hands to chop on my hair!  And the tradition isn't the same without going outside (weather permitting) and listening to our

happy birthday to me... almost

  Let's rewind a bit and start a few days before my birthday... I had my first cancer treatment day on October 3rd - check it out if you haven't read that blog post yet. Let's just think of it as an early birthday gift since my birthday is October 7th. Great gift, right?!? If I have to hear "Happy Early" or "Late Birthday" from another medical person, I might have to smack someone. Especially, since I have spent most of the weeks leading up to and after my birthday at a medical appointment regarding cancer. Not really loving my birthday this year. Let's just say, on my birthday, I woke up with a special chemo-side-effect-surprise at 2am. That fun surprise I will share later... Rewind a Few Days... Update But first, let's go to October 4th, the day after my grueling 8 hours of immunotherapy and two chemotherapies on the 3rd. I woke up swollen, red faced, and fevering, as well as feeling pretty crummy. I didn't have time to dwell on it since I

More biopsies... where? down there?

Cancer survivors are always wondering and waiting to see if something is going to happen, so it is only natural to worry when something is "off". Then when something turns out to be abnormal more testing and follow-ups are needed. It seems like a continual wave of worries. Sometimes our worries turn out to be issues. Sometimes our worries turn out to be nothing. Either way, we are going to worry... it's just an issue of determining how much and when we should really worry. Finding out my endometrium lining was so thick meant I needed to get a biopsy. What's an Endometrial Biopsy? An endometrial biopsy is a medical procedure in which a small piece of tissue from the lining of the uterus (the endometrium) is removed for examination under a microscope. The removed tissue is examined for cancer or any other cell abnormalities.  Lucky me. Right?  Now I get to go back the GYN only a few days after my initial exa