XLIV - With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come
What a great week to have off! My birthday happened to fall on the week without chemo treatment. Instead I got spoiled with some treats and a visit from some of my family...
Birthday surprises... snacks & visitors...
In addition to celebrating another year alive (bonus), I had surprise packages sent my way. It was always exciting to have unexpected mail and be showered with warm wishes and occasional gifts. Shoes and hats were given courtesy of my aunt who has throughout my treatment showered me with thoughtful items and loving thoughts.
New gift... a hat for fall!
I would like to say my recovery week was full of magical birthday healing, but it was still a tough week. The chemo has compiled and I am trudging my way through. Each day provides some relieve, but I never really get to wake up feeling "good". Sometimes I wake up feeling in less pain, but I have not had a good day in a very long time. I definitely feel the toll of chemo and cannot wait until I do not feel sick. The continual feeling of pain and discomfort and exhaustion can be daunting. It can be down-right exhausting. However, I am so grateful for the days that allow me to get up and function without too many issues. Of course by 4 pm - watch out world - you don't know what you are going to get!!!
Those crazy side effects won't stop... runny eyes & bloody noses.
I had a new experience during the week... driving the kids to school with watering/crying eyes and bloody nostrils. The kids were quite confused... why is mom crying while having tissue paper shoved up her nose? I kept telling them, I am not sad. I am not having a mental breakdown. Instead, I was having full on crazy side effects that I could not control. The crying eyes are a nuisance... and one that makes me look a bit insane... even during my parent-teacher conference, grocery shopping, and just about everywhere. Trust me, I did not want to be driving my car with bloody tissue paper up my nose while full on crying in the car. I looked like some demented mother... it only would have been better if I was still in my night clothes!!!
In my head...
I am really getting to the end of the chemotherapy journey! Only 3 more to go! I cannot believe I am getting down to the end of it. The past six months have really been challenging. And I have really been up for the challenge. I am so grateful to be alive. Each day and year is like borrowed time. How lucky am I to have it!
Even though I am exhausted - and I am - I am looking forward to finishing up my treatment and being cancer free. I am so grateful to be a year older... and for the many, many birthdays to come!!!
"There's little of the melancholy element in her, my lord:
she is never sad but when she sleeps; and not ever sad then;
for I have heard my daughter say, she hath often dreamt of unhappiness,
and waked herself with laughing.”
- William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
Episode Reference: Line from The Merchant of Venice, William Shakespeare
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