tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31972555014390144432024-02-07T19:04:03.995-06:00TaTa WarsMy saga is currently fighting Triple Negative Breast Cancer with NO Primary Tumor as well as surviving ER/PR+ Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in 2013. I have a twisted sense of humor and have tried to continue that laughter and optimism on my journey.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger167125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-16324313726995973282023-10-25T17:06:00.009-05:002023-12-10T00:05:17.726-06:00my longest hardest day yet<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwhwMqPQl8oYdDLXr52L2oMEVoXpJpGzm_AgJ21gIqLCdUvY9uktbIugTTKCfjHs5HuJ4iCh86CFfGDSnfg-u7nlYjIvtvfR1wtXIiptdCdKMwjrGjRM3xe8rFbu-bQPFgT-XBfNZHrd5QX7hb54sJkiEB9IQfay43jr_ZDx9p28rNV5w0dc0sYxTNqpR3/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(1).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwhwMqPQl8oYdDLXr52L2oMEVoXpJpGzm_AgJ21gIqLCdUvY9uktbIugTTKCfjHs5HuJ4iCh86CFfGDSnfg-u7nlYjIvtvfR1wtXIiptdCdKMwjrGjRM3xe8rFbu-bQPFgT-XBfNZHrd5QX7hb54sJkiEB9IQfay43jr_ZDx9p28rNV5w0dc0sYxTNqpR3/w242-h242/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(1).jpg" width="242" /></a></div><p>Get ready boys and girls... today is a doozy. And a long post too!</p><p>But before we begin on one of the toughest days I've ever done, let's recap.</p><p><a href="https://www.tatawarrior.com/2023/10/time-to-hold-my-beer.html" target="_blank">Mon:</a> Irritating Onc day where I was not told about suspicious fluid around lung/heart in time to get a biopsy & I got contradicting info from his NP the week before. </p><p><a href="https://www.tatawarrior.com/2023/10/chemo-travel-fly-travel-stop.html" target="_blank">Tues:</a> Spending the morning getting Immunotherapy and 2 Chemotherapies before going straight to the airport to fly to Houston and enduring long rental car lines and afternoon heavy traffic.</p><h4 style="text-align: center;">A few more checks off this weeks list... a few more to go:</h4><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIe9dvIAX_OJoTtHiQAs7EYpRZBBxXZOHm6DC5gnPNfU8I3TIrDVrwlvpsGn2043I-UIYZGOEq1PUhAYhXjovcJeg1_7roVSc3HSoxDjbS617dXrMTE10Cxq94iK1Xx6XJRqMwNEdqtVHPy8qHSYQIlFil2fzlqMd9PrkzVtg_KV8VB4oqQ5i-Rz0pK4Zi/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIe9dvIAX_OJoTtHiQAs7EYpRZBBxXZOHm6DC5gnPNfU8I3TIrDVrwlvpsGn2043I-UIYZGOEq1PUhAYhXjovcJeg1_7roVSc3HSoxDjbS617dXrMTE10Cxq94iK1Xx6XJRqMwNEdqtVHPy8qHSYQIlFil2fzlqMd9PrkzVtg_KV8VB4oqQ5i-Rz0pK4Zi/w223-h223/Chemo%20makes%20me.jpg" width="223" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Now back to my Wednesday... the Humpday I would like to forget!</h3><p>So, after 8 hours of cancer treatment, flying, and travel in congested Houston the day before, I didn't have much rest because we had to start Wednesday early. My husband and I decided to walk to the medical center since our hotel was close. However, it was not necessarily the easiest or closest walk - tons of traffic, intersections, and some strange individuals out and about at 6am. </p><p>Here is my Original Wednesday Itinerary:</p><p></p><ul><li>7am Mammogram</li><li>8:15am Ultrasound (possible biopsy)</li><li>2:00pm MRI</li></ul>Here is what is actually going to happen:<div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>An all day, 7am-4:30pm, non-stop breast prod, poke, and search that was very painful.</li></ul><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL9Jv5FVLGDG78aEMF465TrB2QnoTbW4tGrJBy8UqyQRpnY25rQoxw_giOQyUlyYoRAxOibjTZTaLSR6Ii2GyowaXsJKhSzb7Q5EoZHvhvJadMC2yjIxMlDbgoS0dkJmNLc39a9_EkVXRBWv8cCEaGGWPl6RYvKd9oHM1MSFAq0qvS7HyTX1luLK2SzS9U/s2160/AirBrush_20231025093237.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL9Jv5FVLGDG78aEMF465TrB2QnoTbW4tGrJBy8UqyQRpnY25rQoxw_giOQyUlyYoRAxOibjTZTaLSR6Ii2GyowaXsJKhSzb7Q5EoZHvhvJadMC2yjIxMlDbgoS0dkJmNLc39a9_EkVXRBWv8cCEaGGWPl6RYvKd9oHM1MSFAq0qvS7HyTX1luLK2SzS9U/w140-h248/AirBrush_20231025093237.jpg" width="140" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Mammogram</h3><p></p><p>My medical day all started with a mammogram appointment at 7am, but since we arrive a bit early, I got called back at 6:45am. It felt crazy early, and I was still dealing with the side effects from treatment on top of knowing today was going to be pretty hectic. I was looking forward to having a slight break in the schedule to go back to the hotel where I could eat and rest (between the Ultrasound and MRI). I should know by now that nothing I do goes according to plan!</p><p>My previous June mammogram from Huntsville was never sent to MD Anderson which caused some confusion. However, I had brought a giant notebook that held all my scans and records for this cancer (and the 2013 cancer)... sort of...</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsCmtJuB-B0NqNOJgwcEhh81oWpiOOmJNfO4A0wNyxfaX6AdeHvybVNnaSEbVRIjeHEUZJtAnA9pfBrSaBw2Xtf934IGcYL5-uv5AUoSCP60HzHTJ-f8v_XXPA7xCw2se8reF5ejyKt0RiHBN8BhkDjGZNJLQTwaRgqJ-dhyR56pvb0V_nQjrRd_H4syq6/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(1).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsCmtJuB-B0NqNOJgwcEhh81oWpiOOmJNfO4A0wNyxfaX6AdeHvybVNnaSEbVRIjeHEUZJtAnA9pfBrSaBw2Xtf934IGcYL5-uv5AUoSCP60HzHTJ-f8v_XXPA7xCw2se8reF5ejyKt0RiHBN8BhkDjGZNJLQTwaRgqJ-dhyR56pvb0V_nQjrRd_H4syq6/w204-h204/Table%20of%20Contents%20(1).jpg" width="204" /></a></div>Before coming I was told to take it to my doctor's appointment on Thursday, and not to bring it today. Now the nurse was wanting the images. I had left the book in the hotel. So, I had a nurse tell my husband in the waiting room, who then walked back to the hotel to get the book. (<b><i>Here was one of my first mistakes - I should have brought the book so they should have taken all the many disks and started uploading the images... but even after he gave it to the nurses she told me she only wanted to download some of the images... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJR1MHleN08d2dbh-9Z2ZCEkqinEKoR2Nex5_rxWHG4Xs3fbSd0J5kplplwWtVErEt-TfjxLPJh6UYeXCRhABRlA7K5OqN8pLvwC9t9WR2ohmmJl244L2Sr_oVhVj6AiDbf5K9y9G9jEAeOzqOo90Q0EQpDRH6PNLUX7JbvhDrM2paEmQAjVHNHLBp69Nn/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJR1MHleN08d2dbh-9Z2ZCEkqinEKoR2Nex5_rxWHG4Xs3fbSd0J5kplplwWtVErEt-TfjxLPJh6UYeXCRhABRlA7K5OqN8pLvwC9t9WR2ohmmJl244L2Sr_oVhVj6AiDbf5K9y9G9jEAeOzqOo90Q0EQpDRH6PNLUX7JbvhDrM2paEmQAjVHNHLBp69Nn/w217-h217/Table%20of%20Contents.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>pre-warning... it would have been easier to have them start downloading ALL the images at this time - it takes a long time to download multiple disks with CTs, PET, Ultrasounds, Biopsies, MRIs, and Mammograms (and since they didn't - it caused a lot of work for my husband that day & still didn't happen</i></b>).<p></p><p>At first, the nurses wanted to wait on my husband to get back before taking the mammogram images. However, I explained we walked so they decided to start the mammograms (and later compare them to my June mammogram after my husband returned - he's a fast walker). I was kind of shocked - they took so many images. I don't think I have ever had that many images taken of my breasts. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyENsiUUTUCn1LDzm6vdtxKBF18Fd_La2elYNQdPkIz4zRjOsJ-MTmcJnjxdZMhgNLCp-tG8QIlHPV5gPEbXaCb54bV2hVwwUl-Cq4N62HfFr8hpymjaC-DR7FJQXnFjktj2CAo8JicjCOYIqMEkY7ZK_cBhE7UH52V0Y7P2LvOSMYdA1TRRRt_nUj4uvl/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(13).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyENsiUUTUCn1LDzm6vdtxKBF18Fd_La2elYNQdPkIz4zRjOsJ-MTmcJnjxdZMhgNLCp-tG8QIlHPV5gPEbXaCb54bV2hVwwUl-Cq4N62HfFr8hpymjaC-DR7FJQXnFjktj2CAo8JicjCOYIqMEkY7ZK_cBhE7UH52V0Y7P2LvOSMYdA1TRRRt_nUj4uvl/w204-h204/Table%20of%20Contents%20(13).jpg" width="204" /></a></div>Big paddles, small paddles, left, right, left. They kept coming back for more - especially since they found something right under my left nipple. Ironically, my Oncologist had mentioned he felt something there at my last appointment with him. Yet, none of my June mammograms noted this area or saw anything wrong. I already know they think they found something new, so they are going to focus on it (and they were definitely going to add a biopsy onto the ultrasound, so I realized my potential time to rest between appointments was shrinking). <p></p><p>The mammogram imaging appointment ran over a bit into my ultrasound appointment time. I had at least 1.5 hours of squishing both my breasts, but the focus was primarily on the left.</p><p>At this point, I was holding up pretty well. The mammograms were uncomfortable, but not anything more than the just a longer mammogram appointment. I had a very short break, like 10 minutes in the back waiting room of the mammogram area before they moved me into an ultrasound room. I was so sick to my stomach from chemo and not having any food. I finally found a nurse and had them get a package of peanut butter crackers from my husband, who had also brought back my medical book and the nurses had already started downloading the mammogram images. What I didn't know was they also sent my husband somewhere else in the building to a department to download the rest of my CDs. So, he was sent off on his own adventure while I was still continuing on with mine...</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwGL0JF8GCz8T-o9r6AwapD8gmnQ_j_Ya-BLZlJD5YUQEoPRbqm3mnTrTl0-vXVNhhbvt_veaY0hypbv-h8vPjFjTtcea2ZQbUt49Qpoiz3PA3cY0-5xtSc0ZkgehpbCeMQZbV3YnRM1ygHp9WRWne93LqO0NvRKt0497bE48ORBHb7cD4LFT2b2OMcKdu/s2160/AirBrush_20231025092849.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwGL0JF8GCz8T-o9r6AwapD8gmnQ_j_Ya-BLZlJD5YUQEoPRbqm3mnTrTl0-vXVNhhbvt_veaY0hypbv-h8vPjFjTtcea2ZQbUt49Qpoiz3PA3cY0-5xtSc0ZkgehpbCeMQZbV3YnRM1ygHp9WRWne93LqO0NvRKt0497bE48ORBHb7cD4LFT2b2OMcKdu/w136-h241/AirBrush_20231025092849.jpg" width="136" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Ultrasound</h3><p></p><p>This second appointment started closer to 8:30am. Normally, ultrasounds aren't very long. In the past, it could be 15 min to 30 min - as the ultrasound tech focuses on whatever they find in the mammogram. Not today! </p><p>The <b>first part of this ultrasound took 2 hours of pushing (pretty hard) non-stop at every layer of my left breast tissue and lymph nodes under the arm, over the shoulder, in my neck, and around/on my port.</b> This was the longest, most grueling ultrasound I have ever had. They tech glided and pressed over and over... it was non-stop for 2 hours on just my left side.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidqrDPkO6Xh0DLE5GBdkm54jaz_dWjmLETpfo7UfGiS3237dqXzSRY6M9EnoM-DKW34I1UwelSIXvoX4nxIzDm6__2sosljo96B0xIvTHqERTIfveHeTrUNm05Qksn0ZqkIsfZKvSLXO4vbiU0RWwbjspcEt-BggC7jOwAKXN2IaetPDERV4FBtoHjKkOf/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(10).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidqrDPkO6Xh0DLE5GBdkm54jaz_dWjmLETpfo7UfGiS3237dqXzSRY6M9EnoM-DKW34I1UwelSIXvoX4nxIzDm6__2sosljo96B0xIvTHqERTIfveHeTrUNm05Qksn0ZqkIsfZKvSLXO4vbiU0RWwbjspcEt-BggC7jOwAKXN2IaetPDERV4FBtoHjKkOf/w177-h177/Table%20of%20Contents%20(10).jpg" width="177" /></a></div>I had to lay on my right side with a pillow under my back, but my hips were to the left. The angle was very bad for my back issues. Plus, they were pressing on me hard, so it really hurt. My bruising from the original port procedure was still bad (and later turned dark purple from all the pushing on it from today, as well as red spots all over my port area). <p></p><p>After 2 hours focused on my left side, they did a shorter exam on my right side. It was more like 30-45 minutes. I was in a ton of pain - all over. My breasts were tender. My back was jacked. My legs hurt. My hips hurt. I was sick from chemo the day before. I had not eaten anything or really had any water. I was exhausted.</p><p>It was now almost noon! At this point, the tech had left the room to go discuss everything with the Radiologist. I got off the table and sent a brief text message telling my husband to go ahead and check out of the hotel. We had got a late hotel check out since I was counting on going back to the hotel between the 8:15am Ultrasound and 2pm MRI appointments. I had planned on resting during that time - and I was now realizing that today was going to be tougher than I imagined.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhXbhdkfAGQ6CEMIT79mK_k4H4Y9Eik5NG9nLK6bpfZpA3Q_ym_1rBUjEaTyQZ0g0Lizbjweo7MRzzZlBZ3fvhUrRYfqZeEBAD8OZ-ckK5z7feYLTEII_JscuIBokhVJuf_pfZQvBpWcX0Zct7AhwMpnnuI4bcO3Z5bPzqVVmEmQ5B8MTao3aHiYpLVyta/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(11).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhXbhdkfAGQ6CEMIT79mK_k4H4Y9Eik5NG9nLK6bpfZpA3Q_ym_1rBUjEaTyQZ0g0Lizbjweo7MRzzZlBZ3fvhUrRYfqZeEBAD8OZ-ckK5z7feYLTEII_JscuIBokhVJuf_pfZQvBpWcX0Zct7AhwMpnnuI4bcO3Z5bPzqVVmEmQ5B8MTao3aHiYpLVyta/w166-h166/Table%20of%20Contents%20(11).jpg" width="166" /></a></div>At 12:15pm the Radiologist came in into the ultrasound room and spent another 45 minutes focused on the area under the left nipple – and to get to it she had to angle the ultrasound wand so it pressed upward pushing on my port – which was additional pain. With all their searching and all the new focus on an area in my breast, I was not surprised that she decided to do a biopsy.<p></p><p>I had already figured that a biopsy was coming the minute they added the small paddles focusing on the left nipple during the mammogram. What surprised me is the insane amount of time the Ultrasound took (especially since they were likely planning a biopsy from the minute they found a new area). I was also surprised for the amount of pain it had caused me (however, I have never had that much poking and prodding for so many consistent hours)... as well as the fact I was already pretty beat down from travel/chemo and now having no breaks between all this testing.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT1HOgEe69Cjbu2y601goJ4JMWr_gzecPrc3z-pLyn3AKgfIUsaCLfdDOXW5T9IX36ZETWymkEY-8BLXtlhyphenhyphenADIx9Fp6CSsaVxe0MqcTOP_cneTJx6Vb07eJ1wS03Fq0F_A2BSp7H6UjzuOGqtJxyklFl_WuRdtw8ueRce5GKcTEBm3wkE_scY6BfdETNG/s3840/PXL_20231025_142740671.MP.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3840" data-original-width="2160" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT1HOgEe69Cjbu2y601goJ4JMWr_gzecPrc3z-pLyn3AKgfIUsaCLfdDOXW5T9IX36ZETWymkEY-8BLXtlhyphenhyphenADIx9Fp6CSsaVxe0MqcTOP_cneTJx6Vb07eJ1wS03Fq0F_A2BSp7H6UjzuOGqtJxyklFl_WuRdtw8ueRce5GKcTEBm3wkE_scY6BfdETNG/w122-h216/PXL_20231025_142740671.MP.jpg" width="122" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Ultrasound Guided Biopsy</h3><p></p><p>It was after 1pm at this point and I had not taken my regular pain medications, so my pain level was insane. Not only my normal chronic pain, but the fact I had been in an awkward position on my side/back for so long - and the pushing and prodding on my breast since 6:45am. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMMgaZwPZRlOpjdqh85TctcvQMuksx6Dqeu3YLX4gZ_f6amM20m1uVu_M9ZvLpAOs9RdcCm373WgyengQkGfJUF71zCQtBOlFbiLWBQQfwcK0xt0DMgMaiQIMN-4_lI31HH5fI-ty9kpVSD764ES1CHewmcXAUs2j0bdr7mtizfovm3Gc53wB_s94av_Jo/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(4).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMMgaZwPZRlOpjdqh85TctcvQMuksx6Dqeu3YLX4gZ_f6amM20m1uVu_M9ZvLpAOs9RdcCm373WgyengQkGfJUF71zCQtBOlFbiLWBQQfwcK0xt0DMgMaiQIMN-4_lI31HH5fI-ty9kpVSD764ES1CHewmcXAUs2j0bdr7mtizfovm3Gc53wB_s94av_Jo/w212-h212/Table%20of%20Contents%20(4).jpg" width="212" /></a></div>So far, MD Anderson had spent 6 hours examining my breast, and I was definitely feeling the pain. But this was the 1st break I had in a while, so I took my drugs and went to the bathroom. I really wanted to run away, but knew that I had to get the biopsy done.<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3HzPVdEi6H4eUGmhGeWXsr-PFjPi-Ekz89nwJQT_NX_WGtXB8BGTEocl1grO1IQbPFNmoYRo3LYecJlbDsAKQrdh5LPD4Zs-K5jCJRzryK4Q8TWCRsv0_BF1ZGavar5r5nb5q0KzX1DsN8KR7zJ8aSVDKarDQOspu8rSCmPGz8SILFHD534NhQJ_9hIw/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(9).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3HzPVdEi6H4eUGmhGeWXsr-PFjPi-Ekz89nwJQT_NX_WGtXB8BGTEocl1grO1IQbPFNmoYRo3LYecJlbDsAKQrdh5LPD4Zs-K5jCJRzryK4Q8TWCRsv0_BF1ZGavar5r5nb5q0KzX1DsN8KR7zJ8aSVDKarDQOspu8rSCmPGz8SILFHD534NhQJ_9hIw/w187-h187/Table%20of%20Contents%20(9).jpg" width="187" /></a></div>Before they could do my biopsy, they had to take <b>my BP - it was 169/111</b>. I have never had a BP that high (or at least I cannot remember ever being that high) – and I think it was due to the significant amount of pain and amount of physical pressure I had been getting during this non-stop breast investigation. My skin was getting raw in certain areas which hurt too. And at this point, I think I wasn't even realizing how long it had been. I was just doing what I needed to do.<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcEjCyb34zqX7WduZI0z58Ru8GqeoT-6Otdx02KoVFLKhE0CpPbQvfcwYDgYSbRjDuh3ufK4aXz0iJo5LcQ8pkK-WV2LhMHvsvyOZi8MEttv4iXwysqSZ9v8ybjRd1EWH8u2yANWSIiBMaFG6RF9kGLx63e6CcimkFDnwpd0DZL2UtASJjS-HiTW6Hghzw/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(3).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcEjCyb34zqX7WduZI0z58Ru8GqeoT-6Otdx02KoVFLKhE0CpPbQvfcwYDgYSbRjDuh3ufK4aXz0iJo5LcQ8pkK-WV2LhMHvsvyOZi8MEttv4iXwysqSZ9v8ybjRd1EWH8u2yANWSIiBMaFG6RF9kGLx63e6CcimkFDnwpd0DZL2UtASJjS-HiTW6Hghzw/w294-h294/Table%20of%20Contents%20(3).jpg" width="294" /></a></div>On the positive, the biopsy was pretty painless considering what I had already endured (except my back and the initial numbing shots that were put in my nipple area weren't fun). The Radiologist took her time and took 6 to 7 samples – which felt like a lot. Originally, she said she was going to do 3 or 4, but I think they were being cautious and trying to take extra tissue to be thorough since it was a small area.<p></p><p>I could see on the ultrasound images on the screen and it looked like they were having a hard time finding exactly where to go. The area they were focusing on looked more like a layers in the tissue vs a mass. The Radiologist was unsure if this this area was the primary tumor or something that came before or after the lymph nodes (or if it is cancerous). Basically, MD Anderson was trying to find that initial cancer source. However, it was coming at the cost of my body.</p><p>Right after the biopsy, I had to go back to the mammogram department to take even more Mammograms to make sure the clips, that were put in the area under my nipple during the biopsy, were done correctly. At this point, those images were pretty uncomfortable. I was so sore and tired and had just had a biopsy - so the images hurt more than normal. But, I did it!</p><p>After my medication & biopsy they took <b>my BP which dropped a little to 145/90 – which is still high for me</b>. But there was no time to do anything. It was 1:45pm and my MRI was scheduled for 2pm, so there was no time to eat or rest or relax or recover. I was given after care biopsy instructions, but was told I would not be able to ice my biopsy area like I am supposed to do since I was running late and had to get to the MRI department.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV5GPzWhwDcHd1GWrDsIMH8ldYrdchtTGA6BESfB_7mhyphenhyphenn9MzQlangdkAwuNblNuAbLKkj8leF5qWkPncnfmfo8cStA0my5xZEuzeWmIdfaNIFlv6L7dYY1OhOK1OgyrHm0Z-CJn1XfSRlcb4bC-rBV1S_Xcygg2r8huqbcozrvbLVEf425c2EQirjx2-E/s2160/AirBrush_20231026115528.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV5GPzWhwDcHd1GWrDsIMH8ldYrdchtTGA6BESfB_7mhyphenhyphenn9MzQlangdkAwuNblNuAbLKkj8leF5qWkPncnfmfo8cStA0my5xZEuzeWmIdfaNIFlv6L7dYY1OhOK1OgyrHm0Z-CJn1XfSRlcb4bC-rBV1S_Xcygg2r8huqbcozrvbLVEf425c2EQirjx2-E/w115-h205/AirBrush_20231026115528.jpg" width="115" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">MRI</h3><p></p><p>During the almost 8 hours I had been tortured so far - and it felt like torture at this point - my husband had done a number of things. He had walked back and forth to the hotel around 3 time (to get my medical notebook, check out of the hotel, and to get something he left). He had also been sent on multiple locations by nurses to try and get all my images uploaded, which turned out to actually harder than one would think (and the department person who said they would download it - did not do it - which is a whole other side story). He was told multiple times by staff that he could not see me or check on me, but he knew I had to be almost finished. He was concerned because he knew my MRI was scheduled in just a few minutes and located on a different floor.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk8UsldsFA1CCz3AYNbtumnkutQou3LSs9J-1IQn9_h9hfaQzXb84IybQVz2RJHvdy2btYRdfzFL7kuQPxwOZv-AGayXlMbqz-GB_6vXqphaQ1JCCRgFncFBlFesV81I-y04FWep1oAfjY_LnNNs1emho9TlqtSrR6mQHNnCNIWPo1sJIqYtslTiJGjxuU/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(5).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk8UsldsFA1CCz3AYNbtumnkutQou3LSs9J-1IQn9_h9hfaQzXb84IybQVz2RJHvdy2btYRdfzFL7kuQPxwOZv-AGayXlMbqz-GB_6vXqphaQ1JCCRgFncFBlFesV81I-y04FWep1oAfjY_LnNNs1emho9TlqtSrR6mQHNnCNIWPo1sJIqYtslTiJGjxuU/w227-h227/Table%20of%20Contents%20(5).jpg" width="227" /></a></div>When I came out, he could tell I was exhausted. I looked it. I was so hungry too. I wanted to grab something to eat (other than the crackers in my bag), but by the time we walked to the MRI location and checked there was no time. I got a brief moment where I sat in one of the lazy boy chairs outside in the waiting room and talked to another couple nearby. The woman asked me if I had ever done a breast MRI - which I had. Then she told me that she had to come back to do her MRI again since the last time she was unable or didn't handle it well. Then she asked me if I was going to be taking the sedative to do the MRI. I kind of thought, "why on earth would I do that?" I should have known that this was a foreshadowing moment!<p></p><p>I've done breast MRIs. I had one a month ago. I have had many and never really had any issues (other than the noise, IV issues, and normal dislike of scans). Generally, they are no big deal. <b>This MRI was the hardest test I have ever done! And that is saying a lot.</b> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfDVWRos6WwXa4tHY3qlfmoXkqvWc7wN4TMRAwiWYwqUDB774Z-egFwn7fINxVDAFuWUwkrA99zcR1-1Rnu1NKdWvZcRia1wNDHUfL4fsolZ4lxCqXaf08Sj4GPh2mF1gxL3Rz62eVd1tjsBrTaGBFGWjZjfpxMqbMKBBsr4WxILk21eqYdMKmpsTUtw69/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(8).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfDVWRos6WwXa4tHY3qlfmoXkqvWc7wN4TMRAwiWYwqUDB774Z-egFwn7fINxVDAFuWUwkrA99zcR1-1Rnu1NKdWvZcRia1wNDHUfL4fsolZ4lxCqXaf08Sj4GPh2mF1gxL3Rz62eVd1tjsBrTaGBFGWjZjfpxMqbMKBBsr4WxILk21eqYdMKmpsTUtw69/w217-h217/Table%20of%20Contents%20(8).jpg" width="217" /></a></div>It was excruciating. I cannot even describe it in detail because so much of it was physically painful. I spent almost an 1.5 hours prepping for the MRI. <p></p><p>First off - the IV. They did use an IV specialist – but still had trouble with my veins. It hurt. I was dehydrated which didn't help. It took multiple sticks and some digging in the vein to finally get it to work. Ouch!</p><p>Second - I spent almost 1 hour trying to get my body into the position they needed to get the images. I do have larger breasts, but they aren't insanely big. Yet, she refused to drop the table and wanted to raise me up by building upward using foam between my breasts on the sternum. The foam pieces were not attached to anything, so they weren't stable and were uncomfortable. And it took multiple, multiple, multiple attempts to find the right height.</p><p>And it wasn't just the height, she was trying to get my body in some position that she needed. Seriously, this was the majority of my prep time was spent with the tech trying to turn me in ways that my body was unable to do. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWEm7YL0dZnwmggwvWnbhYm8w6LTu5cTfwfqr-CW3TLDzvUdlDJrTTvpNleoB_a7-bLy8JgpmJkD_K5npZqVZYhlcGI-6lgPuD1DASMsP8-YRw7W3oVDd5Q0Qydb3OhvmNNm8noEIcWw2pwDNE1-UQuRv_gBB3pamxyaZBpQsvtNuY4BjmJge0TbbeBDj2/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(15).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWEm7YL0dZnwmggwvWnbhYm8w6LTu5cTfwfqr-CW3TLDzvUdlDJrTTvpNleoB_a7-bLy8JgpmJkD_K5npZqVZYhlcGI-6lgPuD1DASMsP8-YRw7W3oVDd5Q0Qydb3OhvmNNm8noEIcWw2pwDNE1-UQuRv_gBB3pamxyaZBpQsvtNuY4BjmJge0TbbeBDj2/w254-h254/Table%20of%20Contents%20(15).jpg" width="254" /></a></div>She would have me hold myself up in a downward dog position which was near impossible after the day I had, the biopsy soreness, and the back pain I was trying to pretend didn't exist – was near impossible. <p></p><p>She would ask me to raise one of my knees up while holding myself in this awkward downward dog and adjust my hips at the same time. At the same time, she was trying to raise my chest off the table so she could building-up the foam cushion (not soft) between my breasts that was insanely painful. If you remember, my my port is located near the sternum – and it was still sore from all the bruising too. Double Ouch!</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIZx-M7Ds4JhYTOKJ81JKKisBgkeUVoljPWr2b9qWIinqYJgZBdcH14mhlYw9g036DsMsJlv2MWcKy9yu0jKVSbMx22lCWArFtBkATCB9cmsbtNEzuGzWUEjU0Os0lcmfRWrrmlKmyOvwNtzpuWNkwozvzSlxGFZ346RD9nlVyYfmuH0ifRzXfkpaqehjG/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(16).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIZx-M7Ds4JhYTOKJ81JKKisBgkeUVoljPWr2b9qWIinqYJgZBdcH14mhlYw9g036DsMsJlv2MWcKy9yu0jKVSbMx22lCWArFtBkATCB9cmsbtNEzuGzWUEjU0Os0lcmfRWrrmlKmyOvwNtzpuWNkwozvzSlxGFZ346RD9nlVyYfmuH0ifRzXfkpaqehjG/w205-h205/Table%20of%20Contents%20(16).jpg" width="205" /></a></div>During one of the last attempts to get me into position, she accidently got my IV got caught on the corner of the machine and it almost ripped out. I cringe thinking about it. The pain was not fun. <p></p><p>By the time she got me in the correct position, I was crying into the face pillow while she shoved crap (earplugs) in my ears and then tried to talk to me. Between it all I couldn’t hear her. <b>So, I just started calling out "just do it; I can’t hear you,, but I will not move and I know contrast is going to be used - just get me in the machine now." </b></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAyJT_doBtIjTKBg-pm9Q7hAQpZuHmqqn5tuZlLr0uwMSrrS8cCBLNm587WDrQO3Xf6O2KXaoT40CYPyoywSlSm1sf1KHbFmzuTCnpwiD1jzsyOhFo0i2hjqPtnGoeWf5vpX6YqUJJ-pukmPl3hhgavU3p246tRFC2nit30x40TYxPpS1Of-8eO_FRm2tl/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(2).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAyJT_doBtIjTKBg-pm9Q7hAQpZuHmqqn5tuZlLr0uwMSrrS8cCBLNm587WDrQO3Xf6O2KXaoT40CYPyoywSlSm1sf1KHbFmzuTCnpwiD1jzsyOhFo0i2hjqPtnGoeWf5vpX6YqUJJ-pukmPl3hhgavU3p246tRFC2nit30x40TYxPpS1Of-8eO_FRm2tl/w232-h232/Table%20of%20Contents%20(2).jpg" width="232" /></a>I spent 45 minutes completely still in excruciating pain while brutally and narrowly enclosed in a very loud MRI machine that vibrated so hard it shook my body and hurt me in ways I didn’t think I could hurt any more. I cried and endured. 45 minutes of pain feels like a very long time when you are in it. I finished with snot dripping out of my nose, a painful dry mouth, so many parts of my body in pain, and crying eyes, but I did it. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYaQ6eQqh-SosuZvoFLD4_R43SJi60bEWuyMUEO4H_vOGrsZnwmBwo1p1mJ4WmQQFW3R8hGkRzRUCH0aAR8ldRK4R_4nwZGcEENv1Ep6ndV0BpFVXbNQceFuR0m_ZmrCKiWYvM7gfAEVX2Vn7HbfDt1qHBzO8lsJP8V49lLOGp9_9WSSLhQplbB2m7jZmv/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(7).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYaQ6eQqh-SosuZvoFLD4_R43SJi60bEWuyMUEO4H_vOGrsZnwmBwo1p1mJ4WmQQFW3R8hGkRzRUCH0aAR8ldRK4R_4nwZGcEENv1Ep6ndV0BpFVXbNQceFuR0m_ZmrCKiWYvM7gfAEVX2Vn7HbfDt1qHBzO8lsJP8V49lLOGp9_9WSSLhQplbB2m7jZmv/w262-h262/Table%20of%20Contents%20(7).jpg" width="262" /></a></div>I didn't even have the strength to get myself up off the machine, but somehow I did. I left with a swollen face and breast, as well as a bruised sternum and overall feeling of misery. It was really kind of sad. My left side is crazy sore and swollen – everything hurts in ways I cannot describe… but I did it. I finished at 4:30pm.<p></p><p>When I walked out, and I was defeated. My husband was dealing with my disks a floor away. The department he was told to go to basically sat my images aside and didn't do anything with them all day. Now, my husband was trying to get them back. He knew when he saw me, I was done. I was holding back my tears. He wanted to walk back to the hotel and get the car for me, but I wanted out of there. I would rather walk back with him then sit there one more minute.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-qnVzVK_PoEr416YLrht5UFavXTOmxyqpg67oU7oOEevGxG9_MaNZvJrVmY0tTPPA8YlIoNcr13rnypJPzW0cgdEsWVH2CdSAaXPbbPGHA0h8Ik9XJ4bRcKTfpJky40KIAkHs-Jct1MAoC9WYH1LXfXByoN8c8o2NjO7Y65TXKrSX7fY7O06F08uImlJ7/s591/bad%20days.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="591" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-qnVzVK_PoEr416YLrht5UFavXTOmxyqpg67oU7oOEevGxG9_MaNZvJrVmY0tTPPA8YlIoNcr13rnypJPzW0cgdEsWVH2CdSAaXPbbPGHA0h8Ik9XJ4bRcKTfpJky40KIAkHs-Jct1MAoC9WYH1LXfXByoN8c8o2NjO7Y65TXKrSX7fY7O06F08uImlJ7/w261-h226/bad%20days.jpg" width="261" /></a></div>I cried a lot after - even on the walk back to the hotel. We still had to drive almost an hour away to check into a new hotel in West Houston. And it was 5pm traffic. We were both hungry (he had not eaten either), so we saw multiple restaurant options at Rice Village while stuck in traffic on our drive and decided to stop. <p></p><p>I must have looked pretty pathetic when I ordered because the waitress gave us both free pity cookies (seriously). I was a hot mess, but still a friendly hot mess. She felt bad for us and I guess saw my medical band on my wrist. Plus, it was all over my face. I guess even at my worst, I am still kind to others and it usually makes something good work out. I am proud of that. After eating a bit, we spent 1 hour in Houston traffic to go 19 miles to our hotel.</p><p><b>I cannot even fully describe how today really went. It was 7am-4:30pm of being poked, pushed, prodded, and a medical guinea pig… it was honestly almost non-stop of some form of physical contact that whole day. </b>I was rarely not having something done to me all day. Throughout that time, I only ate 1 packet of peanut butter crackers and some water. I was so sick from chemo too. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4xSwt3pLUo5Q6EsLL8EMvuXog4uzM5W3T_y73vvnf6JpPw6xIGO75eYwcfJGAv9BkX9-N2ICAq7ISn3shsUzlYu5OBkzK-t_CK97zrT4CKGSH41wNiPc_Cgfi1ajoEqb-Y8B01EQSm1uSzH9V29CsXHRrMpq6OchSNHLOVvKaWHDzkCPXfDU5VoDslG3E/s507/stronger.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="507" data-original-width="492" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4xSwt3pLUo5Q6EsLL8EMvuXog4uzM5W3T_y73vvnf6JpPw6xIGO75eYwcfJGAv9BkX9-N2ICAq7ISn3shsUzlYu5OBkzK-t_CK97zrT4CKGSH41wNiPc_Cgfi1ajoEqb-Y8B01EQSm1uSzH9V29CsXHRrMpq6OchSNHLOVvKaWHDzkCPXfDU5VoDslG3E/w193-h199/stronger.jpg" width="193" /></a></div>It will take me time to even process how much happened to me today. I am stronger than I think I am – and I am pretty proud of myself. It was way worse than I imagined it would be, but I am trying to be grateful they are being thorough. I felt like my breast was a Where is Waldo and all the techs and doctors were determined to find something in my breast. However, it did feel like at the cost of me.<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCQ_ZjI2fxf8yZy_nbdJQMtAwyXTMMwLvrC44aq7gm8-3fLW7FK5tqIHgO1Hn973XrEEaoBMgIZ6eLZ8_CBxVSQyhcJmz093kSreuT758yr667lApVkXx_uMRP3G5npjVG151LQimNnlvaEJc2u9ukYyfw17WyRj6qDk5Iejo8KDpOzburWOQEbVjY4nuF/s2160/AirBrush_20231026181844.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCQ_ZjI2fxf8yZy_nbdJQMtAwyXTMMwLvrC44aq7gm8-3fLW7FK5tqIHgO1Hn973XrEEaoBMgIZ6eLZ8_CBxVSQyhcJmz093kSreuT758yr667lApVkXx_uMRP3G5npjVG151LQimNnlvaEJc2u9ukYyfw17WyRj6qDk5Iejo8KDpOzburWOQEbVjY4nuF/w108-h191/AirBrush_20231026181844.jpg" width="108" /></a></div>It was the hardest day I have had in so long - maybe one of the hardest. I am pretty weak from chemo and from all the pain, but even though it was so very hard, I am going to recover and do whatever is next because I have to – and I am strong enough to. I will say it is so very hard and I am trying so hard too do what I have to. I am working so hard to find answers and hope we will know more soon.<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcBYh0aLGsYgRnuipkHfjRDyBwRiP9sBCNuecZ-ofKUG-5lSxpV1T4ejE83SZ7Zr8o_BZW6T3wTXX6vGzkDr9PvnKVSyl-bHLeeklsdiyAuvNH-jhOKr-YmA4BjSCJmdKVrRbFQW0iQNazEqkR_yxS3qLCsr7xSVft5qihdu3bMmKYXa_avvzRDpGoUVuK/s1080/Table%20of%20Contents%20(6).jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcBYh0aLGsYgRnuipkHfjRDyBwRiP9sBCNuecZ-ofKUG-5lSxpV1T4ejE83SZ7Zr8o_BZW6T3wTXX6vGzkDr9PvnKVSyl-bHLeeklsdiyAuvNH-jhOKr-YmA4BjSCJmdKVrRbFQW0iQNazEqkR_yxS3qLCsr7xSVft5qihdu3bMmKYXa_avvzRDpGoUVuK/w227-h227/Table%20of%20Contents%20(6).jpg" width="227" /></a></div><p>And know that despite all this – I am ok. Though not ok. But ok enough to fight another day!</p><p><br /></p><p></p><div style="text-align: right;">Inspiration for the Day - Chuck Palahniuk's book Fight Club </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjg9H9K7qJkjmPrL6yUNs4OAXIbuwc3A9CWlHXRWGyJRpYbJaLeSuWrecUOZXxSmqwZtdB6wRxx1SJVQuKGuS4ZcLF1tweiRt4VWOYH_cxqvnzERPAOMqH6M91U_mo36U6CfLhqJavtiQa8bqToxkaPooBKWcvaKjT-w2w4PgV8XU9AGlpSwds94aMdmPtx" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="224" data-original-width="224" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjg9H9K7qJkjmPrL6yUNs4OAXIbuwc3A9CWlHXRWGyJRpYbJaLeSuWrecUOZXxSmqwZtdB6wRxx1SJVQuKGuS4ZcLF1tweiRt4VWOYH_cxqvnzERPAOMqH6M91U_mo36U6CfLhqJavtiQa8bqToxkaPooBKWcvaKjT-w2w4PgV8XU9AGlpSwds94aMdmPtx" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p></p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0Houston, TX, USA29.7604267 -95.36980281.4501928638211545 -130.5260528 58.070660536178849 -60.2135528tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-41609178255014411212023-10-24T11:58:00.003-05:002023-12-04T21:22:03.511-06:00chemo. travel. fly. travel. stop.<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYn9VhQM4vvIX2JI1ANPxcnxnALBVVfGGjaBVtRAx0IimnB8vz2W7UKhw8dFO-RP5O2t8g4YthpPMa3JGPXTii5Zgsfx6f7mqHZaf9rrpze536ZrxWXiNJIfZCQZ0at1qxcC9qTgH8eMQ9fQCIUFGyguTvv6TLYyll6trBl5kjSd9G_hXYZIukz2aMq1A2/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYn9VhQM4vvIX2JI1ANPxcnxnALBVVfGGjaBVtRAx0IimnB8vz2W7UKhw8dFO-RP5O2t8g4YthpPMa3JGPXTii5Zgsfx6f7mqHZaf9rrpze536ZrxWXiNJIfZCQZ0at1qxcC9qTgH8eMQ9fQCIUFGyguTvv6TLYyll6trBl5kjSd9G_hXYZIukz2aMq1A2/w214-h214/Chemo%20makes%20me.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">QUICK RECAP</h3><p></p><p><a href="https://www.tatawarrior.com/2023/10/time-to-hold-my-beer.html" target="_blank">Monday</a> was a let's check in with Oncologist - only to get annoyed that I was not told about suspicious fluid around lung/heart found on 10/5 CT before now, the Onc said I could get a biopsy when his NP told me I couldn't the week before, and now it was probably too late get the biopsy since it may be gone because we waited too long. And my official check-in pre-visit appointment phone call with MD Anderson.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">My Checklist at the Start of Tuesday:</h4><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZEAkuV8I9f9lT80BErajJKuhtjf8fKkasMopLYtN7urwAx8lUnxcJKRFa5MLA7cwYWOKt1-FknUYTBQJ-dWq-489bnkRJ4q0LbzfA9d1vkidxIFPQMIP2LVBMdsZ91yYVmg0q-UnffMXmTwsjmgkLNeHHhEttWWWXSjPsoCLCH26wmrx7_EtV68lb-1Fw/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(1).jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZEAkuV8I9f9lT80BErajJKuhtjf8fKkasMopLYtN7urwAx8lUnxcJKRFa5MLA7cwYWOKt1-FknUYTBQJ-dWq-489bnkRJ4q0LbzfA9d1vkidxIFPQMIP2LVBMdsZ91yYVmg0q-UnffMXmTwsjmgkLNeHHhEttWWWXSjPsoCLCH26wmrx7_EtV68lb-1Fw/s320/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(1).jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><b>Still a Lot to Do!</b></i></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1YDqtIr8YqhbR8XncVoOwHmoCN95dKS4GOoW5ybm3PwkwStt_xPjpcqhQjkCzVRq50x2pFqjmU85DBfwBJIHIhNamAm_4LvRGVFYErqB9DPP1LHyC_GPdxSCmWP_kpeA7eUP-I06kNbHXfqrGvnjo6UQhKhnZ6eKLnufv3NGB1ulhbnkHMeWxWCe3xQUt/s2160/AirBrush_20231024065718.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1YDqtIr8YqhbR8XncVoOwHmoCN95dKS4GOoW5ybm3PwkwStt_xPjpcqhQjkCzVRq50x2pFqjmU85DBfwBJIHIhNamAm_4LvRGVFYErqB9DPP1LHyC_GPdxSCmWP_kpeA7eUP-I06kNbHXfqrGvnjo6UQhKhnZ6eKLnufv3NGB1ulhbnkHMeWxWCe3xQUt/w113-h200/AirBrush_20231024065718.jpg" width="113" /></a>TUESDAY</h3><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiToFjLG7r_5u-J0ux8sevZUYOqfDWe8db275izX_iILBv6iszkvmCPEYb1o4uxHQljDouyi9h1U9iervpbuahAKEK93cENTZjvqK24ftZnGSxNW-toXbQk8WJBChPsGjjE32ayVSI-tXqv_N1ceS_40xjClOw_Qe-gmCPxgqhVqcGVPup70e_9GXnvKZiv/s4032/PXL_20231024_115634779.MP.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="2268" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiToFjLG7r_5u-J0ux8sevZUYOqfDWe8db275izX_iILBv6iszkvmCPEYb1o4uxHQljDouyi9h1U9iervpbuahAKEK93cENTZjvqK24ftZnGSxNW-toXbQk8WJBChPsGjjE32ayVSI-tXqv_N1ceS_40xjClOw_Qe-gmCPxgqhVqcGVPup70e_9GXnvKZiv/w113-h200/PXL_20231024_115634779.MP.jpg" width="113" /></a>Today is going to be a loooonnnggg day! I started with an early morning chemotherapy time, getting to the facility while it was still dark outside, around 6:35am...</p>It was weirdly silent... I was the only one in the building (except for a security guard) for a bit. I was actually concerned that my 6:45/7am scheduled time for chemotherapy was incorrect and just randomly sitting at the cancer center. <br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3CrCKxabp1VIk42ncKoOukOY2udB5rbHBKjvG23tm5mWywJiwbhANti8XBrAu3xLhBq37bq4VXg18TklV3UYHWdveJMLhZ5c9CJSAc09neT1eaB6F76gh_Ieh8-pAScmGL3s0aYpBqPKELeQIZMaBP3ysTBVM6ivxUJ080aDtz9cuDuYuL9pzk6YkmQTH/s4032/PXL_20231024_121338416.MP.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2268" data-original-width="4032" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3CrCKxabp1VIk42ncKoOukOY2udB5rbHBKjvG23tm5mWywJiwbhANti8XBrAu3xLhBq37bq4VXg18TklV3UYHWdveJMLhZ5c9CJSAc09neT1eaB6F76gh_Ieh8-pAScmGL3s0aYpBqPKELeQIZMaBP3ysTBVM6ivxUJ080aDtz9cuDuYuL9pzk6YkmQTH/w200-h113/PXL_20231024_121338416.MP.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKF-dOQ3UgLRrjaXbQXrWbohGpw7Nl7-mkgGsWr6TU5RNXt3WdlxI0zdneIQo42oYqQK0tVwKR3UGiQyfxorMvi2oxOJyHWCBuuFWF7tCV2gavPK_gLi_eqqsI5Nvw0Rwl-mWkUprFTw_sBMS4MQi4zygwQV1d4s9EXGoxt1oo67NYGI7z5qNnNJdO6uLo/s1933/AirBrush_20231024065936.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1933" data-original-width="1215" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKF-dOQ3UgLRrjaXbQXrWbohGpw7Nl7-mkgGsWr6TU5RNXt3WdlxI0zdneIQo42oYqQK0tVwKR3UGiQyfxorMvi2oxOJyHWCBuuFWF7tCV2gavPK_gLi_eqqsI5Nvw0Rwl-mWkUprFTw_sBMS4MQi4zygwQV1d4s9EXGoxt1oo67NYGI7z5qNnNJdO6uLo/w126-h200/AirBrush_20231024065936.jpg" width="126" /></a>I was even there before the front desk check-in staff arrived. Normally, the place is packed. So, while it was odd to be the only one there, I liked the quiet of the early morning. <div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkKCEQabuXbErsZBnFVNLhiQW4kgxNC9MFX4UySbI5MNjKhVSjgtVQr5UkU2bLgF_vIzFayMVYe4cCFF3c2BlZrCQnCwtwLaY-7V1NzJcnchiZNDY-Zz27cOV6OgZAezAXBwhifD-pWjjCzwTVtRvVh0EJmHBEXIVWQoqia03HiIKdLgZ3YvE73t7Oeo8g/s4032/PXL_20231024_121343635.MP.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2268" data-original-width="4032" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkKCEQabuXbErsZBnFVNLhiQW4kgxNC9MFX4UySbI5MNjKhVSjgtVQr5UkU2bLgF_vIzFayMVYe4cCFF3c2BlZrCQnCwtwLaY-7V1NzJcnchiZNDY-Zz27cOV6OgZAezAXBwhifD-pWjjCzwTVtRvVh0EJmHBEXIVWQoqia03HiIKdLgZ3YvE73t7Oeo8g/w200-h113/PXL_20231024_121343635.MP.jpg" width="200" /></a>On the positive, I was the first person back into the treatment area, getting the the option to select my chair. And when possible, I go for the window seat. The window seats have the best view and lighting. </div><div><br /></div><div>There is one chair next to the window that is "broken" - the leg recliner does not work. A lot of people do not want to use it. I don't mind that seat since I spend so much time with my feet in buckets of ice while there. I will generally take it so others have the ability to relax and put their feet up!</div><div><br /></div><div>Today is my LONG treatment day: Anti-nausea Meds, Keytruda, Taxol (including ice therapy - feet/hands in buckets of ice for 1.5 hours), and Carboplatin. It takes me somewhere between 6-8 hours to get through the day. I am still have nausea, so I have to eat a few peanut butter crackers while going through treatment to try and calm my stomach. I cannot tolerate anything else to eat (I tried the other snacks offered, but they make it worse). It is a tiring day!</div><div><br /></div><div>One of the positives of treatment is the amazing volunteers who spend their time going around getting all of us warm blankets, snacks, drinks, or anything else they can. Plus, they are get conversationalists. Most of them are cancer survivors and have been in the chair getting treatment at some point. I just love how they remember my name and my story. They also love to see my drawings each time I am there.</div><h4 style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Journal for In Treatment & Week #4</h4><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSbPHvWuOGp6Zdd3dh82KvJcgksyYdtsd2F-jpDnlqxMKNy7NcGBtIGOynWpA39zqLn0vCbAl2m_pG2OGgN09qy6TiFYeyGR-VLLwBXFdg1dOF-h-bqGC9TmDAHGNHbbCzK6JVEakaIKZt3t8dBOSgK5zCqBczAxH_Rl5-D8D8xjTj5ligTMaEFnwMOzS7/s2474/AJ%204.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2474" data-original-width="1785" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSbPHvWuOGp6Zdd3dh82KvJcgksyYdtsd2F-jpDnlqxMKNy7NcGBtIGOynWpA39zqLn0vCbAl2m_pG2OGgN09qy6TiFYeyGR-VLLwBXFdg1dOF-h-bqGC9TmDAHGNHbbCzK6JVEakaIKZt3t8dBOSgK5zCqBczAxH_Rl5-D8D8xjTj5ligTMaEFnwMOzS7/s320/AJ%204.jpg" width="231" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZGN39RGLbs-fiqpv3xrDYDpuC43OBzO65zCrqKeTr31rAqjCzCowb9z0dAXYmgSkKAYmRebu3s7lsl5VT6faYVu3I-nFx5VoQNPtQg5bXqcxAVEBI_Gl1K8Se0nz6tooxjHD3sDwRqpAXHVX1FcWUwjsu3LxpjlS_L7wvCas0Cco2dwdbEbZ9M_6JkiYq/s2358/AJ%204.1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2358" data-original-width="1731" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZGN39RGLbs-fiqpv3xrDYDpuC43OBzO65zCrqKeTr31rAqjCzCowb9z0dAXYmgSkKAYmRebu3s7lsl5VT6faYVu3I-nFx5VoQNPtQg5bXqcxAVEBI_Gl1K8Se0nz6tooxjHD3sDwRqpAXHVX1FcWUwjsu3LxpjlS_L7wvCas0Cco2dwdbEbZ9M_6JkiYq/s320/AJ%204.1.jpg" width="235" /></a></div><br /><div><b>Right after chemo... </b>I didn't have too much time to think about how bad I felt because as soon as treatment was over, I had to get to the airport. My husband and I had a flight leaving sometime before 3pm. I felt really lucky that our airport isn't generally crowded and the lines are usually pretty quick. If we had to fly from anywhere busy, I would have been stressed out throughout my treatment worrying we wouldn't make it on time. Not Huntsville, it is a great quick airport to use.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnYKImvtKHCMCWyWrCMhf1KrvwVa7aCZ3Kgwjm2QtVbOti5lnEstNfn5KY_jmT8kVh_6tGFz9DcyGeyXB4WJvLEBNC1A2BMFpXRMiWsqKYopUjC6JW1dPDUl3aYcRkWMQzXF1WfphpshX8e7RW7OVDJTaJMI9HXxl9-ljfSoiVsNrW6qDPJe2uBkXlruFe/s1664/AirBrush_20231025044423.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1664" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnYKImvtKHCMCWyWrCMhf1KrvwVa7aCZ3Kgwjm2QtVbOti5lnEstNfn5KY_jmT8kVh_6tGFz9DcyGeyXB4WJvLEBNC1A2BMFpXRMiWsqKYopUjC6JW1dPDUl3aYcRkWMQzXF1WfphpshX8e7RW7OVDJTaJMI9HXxl9-ljfSoiVsNrW6qDPJe2uBkXlruFe/s320/AirBrush_20231025044423.jpg" width="208" /></a></div><p>We took a direct flight from Huntsville to Houston. Once we got there, we made our way through the airport to get our rental car. It was awkward because we used the option to check in online for our car, but still had to go through a line. And in Houston, there are always lines. Even the directions to finding the car was hard. </p><p>Once we got outside and into the rental car area, I realized I had to use the bathroom (sick from chemo). Ironically, we had just passed the bathrooms on our way out to the rental cars. I looked at my husband and was like I gotta go. As I walked back towards the airport, I kept thinking, yikes, the rental car area had merged two different companies areas into one in the parking garage area and it was hard to tell who's car belonged to which company. Despite my concern for my husband to find the car, I was like peace-out. I left my husband to his own devises to find the car. </p><p>He found it, but when he nicely decided he wanted to drive closer to pick me up near the airport bathroom doors, he actually drove to a different section and couldn't get back into the one I was in. You have to laugh... it is kind of funny. So, when I walked out looking for him, I went the opposite direction toward the cars. He was actually a few areas over stuck behind a bunch of cement blocks. It was actually funny... and caused for a bit of confusion to find each other!</p><p>Once I was in the car, we realized we would be facing the it's time-to-drive-home-from-work traffic in Houston. More Yikes! We made our way from the airport and drove through evening traffic into downtown Houston. It went exactly like you can imagine. I had been to Houston years ago, and my memories were verified. It is flat with a ton of heavy traffic interstates. There are some beautiful spots in Houston, but their many interstates are not my thing. It was past dinnertime when we reached the hotel. I was exhausted and sick from treatment and travel... I had zero desire to go out to eat. We decided we would just order room service and try to get some sleep because tomorrow is scheduled to be busier than even today.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Ki6pGmxou2cjvlViOsc_CIEtEL4_9cluprTsDhHI8nR8uqMpy3CSgTvnoGhiCLz9pSdWKUv3goDW36AdS0yjUMG5MW8SD6tPq8-QDxNXIRocJ95A9z3yI6cmJpngalqiOjhaVxIIQpyIOsniREoj08R9WXf1neg2Z0vJBxRRHDaScNQtwoacXN4riPBO/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(2).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Ki6pGmxou2cjvlViOsc_CIEtEL4_9cluprTsDhHI8nR8uqMpy3CSgTvnoGhiCLz9pSdWKUv3goDW36AdS0yjUMG5MW8SD6tPq8-QDxNXIRocJ95A9z3yI6cmJpngalqiOjhaVxIIQpyIOsniREoj08R9WXf1neg2Z0vJBxRRHDaScNQtwoacXN4riPBO/w241-h241/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(2).jpg" width="241" /></a></div>I will say I am exhausted. but to take chemo and then fly/travel, I am a beast!<p style="text-align: right;">Inspiration - Sara Bareilles's song, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwTr_CRw3GY" target="_blank">Brave</a></p></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-28889768763240132902023-10-23T16:00:00.093-05:002023-12-04T20:09:19.046-06:00time to hold my beer<p></p><div style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkE84CRuwSWM6_7iLCS12wigPcHTy7JwqxevA5CQ_XPNpfrUtiZYPOGc2mS58FvacdvQlthoWkzHmgS4WE5e7NFkxUElwMzw4p3N8gbYPVGZayGlH-ndJyzJDgKW9wvkks4sriZAYCMNlTFb4h7RpK9ztQ5SluotML0YJY5aQjoKpZiWIDhAY0JlRZCqtJ/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(3).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkE84CRuwSWM6_7iLCS12wigPcHTy7JwqxevA5CQ_XPNpfrUtiZYPOGc2mS58FvacdvQlthoWkzHmgS4WE5e7NFkxUElwMzw4p3N8gbYPVGZayGlH-ndJyzJDgKW9wvkks4sriZAYCMNlTFb4h7RpK9ztQ5SluotML0YJY5aQjoKpZiWIDhAY0JlRZCqtJ/w195-h195/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(3).jpg" width="195" /></a></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">FYI - it's the start of a crazy week! Grab your drink, take a sip, and hold on tight - this week is going to be brutal! </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">I am scheduled for doctor's appointments every day this week - plus, it is my long 2 chemotherapies & immunotherapy treatment week on the same day I am flying to Houston, TX for my MD Anderson testing/doctor meeting week.</span></div></div><h4 style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">Check Out My Week:</span></h4><div style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB8I3dJZUBNVlhD44CWHBwHiKSQqrhO13UU5YLwk2AUnDShvxp2zRqlnStTBohop2wkGoBu0OXxOnCdBmf0FanZJ06q-nnqu89_FfOvm6hM_iUUbaEw0lKquGdfaWvDlbwV4TyrSLyf0h1HSDLOC2RV75hpSk9kqrNKyv4P2PAjr98NPKP_mGVN0W3Hat8/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(2).jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB8I3dJZUBNVlhD44CWHBwHiKSQqrhO13UU5YLwk2AUnDShvxp2zRqlnStTBohop2wkGoBu0OXxOnCdBmf0FanZJ06q-nnqu89_FfOvm6hM_iUUbaEw0lKquGdfaWvDlbwV4TyrSLyf0h1HSDLOC2RV75hpSk9kqrNKyv4P2PAjr98NPKP_mGVN0W3Hat8/s320/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(2).jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>I am going to need every bit of strength and energy I can find to get through this week. Originally, I was stubborn and said I could do the MD Anderson by myself... I reconsidered. While I could do, should I do it? I decided it was just too much for me while already in the throws of cancer treatment.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcyOEnKMBePtUVD2sJAQwsdgilXEDM6gaqgahltfLYX6-r3huJpKZdYx5N5gQEDav5CLRwPFRCY3hhoIjaUf9oi-tRZ5hyphenhyphenAHf16Km5gmqUNcGwJGOqLu3DoLWb2chlZ3UbAJc7FAw4nOleMdtekAe6tFG8q3spYu6p2LG1knL7jAFUnTzPe3TVhH3oRmWg/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcyOEnKMBePtUVD2sJAQwsdgilXEDM6gaqgahltfLYX6-r3huJpKZdYx5N5gQEDav5CLRwPFRCY3hhoIjaUf9oi-tRZ5hyphenhyphenAHf16Km5gmqUNcGwJGOqLu3DoLWb2chlZ3UbAJc7FAw4nOleMdtekAe6tFG8q3spYu6p2LG1knL7jAFUnTzPe3TVhH3oRmWg/w237-h237/Chemo%20makes%20me.jpg" width="237" /></a>MONDAY</h3><p>First off was the Oncologist. It is funny because I am excited when I learn something new... and no matter how many times you do this, each cancer gives you some lessons. Today, I learned something about my Port. </p><p>I am getting labs on Monday and treatment on Tuesday. Part of me didn't want to get poked in my port two days in a row (plus, the pokes coming from TX. However, the Lab Tech offered me a solution: <b>to leave the Port IV in over night.</b> This was news to me. </p><p>Here is what I learned: you can leave it in for up to a week, you can take it out yourself (and they will teach you how though I don't think I want to do that to myself), you can travel with it in, and another facility will not accept the Port IV line that they do not put in (while my lab tech told me the opposite - that MD Anderson could just use the one they put in, but my Oncologist told me that another medical facility will only accept one's they do, so I will get it out after treatment tomorrow). It makes sense when you think about it, but I was hopeful.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1u-4MJ4nnGp8E5v92PL8OM1GTsgJtTFz5oZUWdJFvmKO_wn1FM45Hiuik_QPyD7C1b_O0kZLBVwG1-rYIJH_gDjZYGXc8W9KiCOESKl1rvfSjnGxiYi6iGQK2O7LLDMIbAFcsBur20mtNvMrwj__VD92ykYs_zjbhkwooWEcmHlHqeh3ipuhzFzYqqYV3/s3840/PXL_20231024_015816078.MP.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3840" data-original-width="2160" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1u-4MJ4nnGp8E5v92PL8OM1GTsgJtTFz5oZUWdJFvmKO_wn1FM45Hiuik_QPyD7C1b_O0kZLBVwG1-rYIJH_gDjZYGXc8W9KiCOESKl1rvfSjnGxiYi6iGQK2O7LLDMIbAFcsBur20mtNvMrwj__VD92ykYs_zjbhkwooWEcmHlHqeh3ipuhzFzYqqYV3/w113-h200/PXL_20231024_015816078.MP.jpg" width="113" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl-0Qr4sTPRglzxOX7aIlVNkEkitNcbwUfkIJlJXfgi_sMmI2AfU8hA8FD0q0ykyRnNA2C2bWEEfNQYcStWDeAIxQxYERq3mA03f9JKMhNvxs4Yz-Yn1rq2JiH9bvefKYo0VP1UmxAj4bLq6rpAvrS6TaQ0bwgcB9f-JJD7qy-qAd0lkIgdT2Gvxc1G6Zm/s3840/PXL_20231024_015805692.MP.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3840" data-original-width="2160" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl-0Qr4sTPRglzxOX7aIlVNkEkitNcbwUfkIJlJXfgi_sMmI2AfU8hA8FD0q0ykyRnNA2C2bWEEfNQYcStWDeAIxQxYERq3mA03f9JKMhNvxs4Yz-Yn1rq2JiH9bvefKYo0VP1UmxAj4bLq6rpAvrS6TaQ0bwgcB9f-JJD7qy-qAd0lkIgdT2Gvxc1G6Zm/s320/PXL_20231024_015805692.MP.jpg" width="180" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUZSfEP4kwyXNZ5ZsL52Nrmgdgq32WHWB8QFIiApRX5Lmsbg0fud1rWud6prgdIM50js-IDeIiQjQjdWqi3DOZc4mPDZEIyrc03tWoBwHCWealDSuXD_NsppRRF9EH6Hjm2HwruobOPzkk6PPTcKQS7629gU2dAAKWaXQ7RLBDtjzgxfwPgn-qISP1rQmW/s3840/PXL_20231024_015801115.MP.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3840" data-original-width="2160" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUZSfEP4kwyXNZ5ZsL52Nrmgdgq32WHWB8QFIiApRX5Lmsbg0fud1rWud6prgdIM50js-IDeIiQjQjdWqi3DOZc4mPDZEIyrc03tWoBwHCWealDSuXD_NsppRRF9EH6Hjm2HwruobOPzkk6PPTcKQS7629gU2dAAKWaXQ7RLBDtjzgxfwPgn-qISP1rQmW/w113-h200/PXL_20231024_015801115.MP.jpg" width="113" /></a><b><i><br />Here's what keeping the Port IV Line in Over Night looks like!</i></b><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><p><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNu0cjG8XZtxdsLDwy9Lu5-N7nhosE4XCL1qxB55xCnGDokhtrb6VXx9CHPbmGmBcCCBFiLkj_rWD0sL5SSBgP8DP3J9DSmFcAgYJrPqekrA3GZIOVIuBYpmXSuCZAtJ56hLstfbvv1P3Idk4cNI88xGX5IpqVbCoq3GhfvcTmH3XmEyRLZjUbHkZKfr-R/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(1).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNu0cjG8XZtxdsLDwy9Lu5-N7nhosE4XCL1qxB55xCnGDokhtrb6VXx9CHPbmGmBcCCBFiLkj_rWD0sL5SSBgP8DP3J9DSmFcAgYJrPqekrA3GZIOVIuBYpmXSuCZAtJ56hLstfbvv1P3Idk4cNI88xGX5IpqVbCoq3GhfvcTmH3XmEyRLZjUbHkZKfr-R/w214-h214/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(1).jpg" width="214" /></a>So, I had a brief glimmer of hope that this was going to be the only stuck with a needle one time. Instead, I would at least get today's labs and tomorrow's treatment with one punch, but MD Anderson would be more pokes. <i>(The biggest issue with keeping the Port IV in overnight... is sleeping. </i><i>It is uncomfortable.</i></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtAFKHUCOEZm8M35ayEJQoTahoTu6xw1Pq9kWUjGA3biw2RlyAVDtPhjI508BJI90X-XDqFOEg-oOgG4An7DHf1serOpI9VCHGQ9BuXxQs53TEvbltzgm8kVcfNfZ9ybaMaaD1joGUG_WJdpJhYOyTpIF5-HvgsDbph6c4uH5MB2hnwCSchzXwQo5wsN3L/s3086/PXL_20231005_212539361.MP.jpg" style="clear: left; display: inline; float: left; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3086" data-original-width="2160" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtAFKHUCOEZm8M35ayEJQoTahoTu6xw1Pq9kWUjGA3biw2RlyAVDtPhjI508BJI90X-XDqFOEg-oOgG4An7DHf1serOpI9VCHGQ9BuXxQs53TEvbltzgm8kVcfNfZ9ybaMaaD1joGUG_WJdpJhYOyTpIF5-HvgsDbph6c4uH5MB2hnwCSchzXwQo5wsN3L/w135-h193/PXL_20231005_212539361.MP.jpg" width="135" /></a><i>I think my mind was also like what if this comes out or my cute mini-dachshund decides to chew on the line... he has been known to chew on cords before. Look at that face... you may be fooled by he's cute face... thinking he would never cause mayhem. Suckers! </i></p><p><i>Of course, nothing happened... however, knowing the Port goes straight to my heart makes a girl wonder, worry, & maybe even question. In the end, the Port was more uncomfortable than normal, but I slept and it was exactly the same for Tuesday's chemo. My thoughts on keeping it in: <b>Convenient, but Uncomfortable.</b>)</i></p><p><b>Back to Monday</b> - if you haven't <a href="https://www.tatawarrior.com/2023/10/the-best-laid-schemes.html" target="_blank">read my previous blog post</a> a quick summary- I had a CT done on 10/5 and wasn't told the results until 10/17 by the NP who said I fluid around my left lung and heart that looked and suspected cancerous though doing a biopsy would probably collapse my lung and didn't think I could.</p><p>Now, in my current appointment, I was annoyed that the Oncologist told me I could get a biopsy of the suspicious fluid around my lungs and heart (medical names: Pleural Effusion, Pericardial Effusion, & Atelectasis). I asked if I could use a Interventional Radiation Group (like who I used to get my successful port) to do the biopsy. And his response felt like polar opposite than the NP visit last week, who told me doing a biopsy had the risk of collapsing my lung. The Oncologist acted like it was no big thing and I could have one if I wanted one. Then why did the NP not say the same thing last week when I asked?!? I have no idea why they are so disjointed, but now feels almost too late. I am leaving tomorrow to go to MD Anderson as soon as I finish chemo... so now I have to wait another week and set it up for when I get back. I still don't understand why no one called me or scheduled an appointment in now almost 3 weeks they had since they found the area on the CT! But, they didn't!! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOX_BvJuRM-gJk8KXNEgSC2kuOtBuq2mcCT90qZBvTITsZb24TU9QIcCZf9pRr9GUbvme45hiU-ipm9m8ZphdWxGvO2sGRnWa21Qm8jODvxqJXBi99CyaNPGl9qEBL7aS9bKaoAE1yp-o7FrqjcdJH7cUAdpoAjLcZDJD_vei5EYd8hjZm21wBo8aHKixA/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(4).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOX_BvJuRM-gJk8KXNEgSC2kuOtBuq2mcCT90qZBvTITsZb24TU9QIcCZf9pRr9GUbvme45hiU-ipm9m8ZphdWxGvO2sGRnWa21Qm8jODvxqJXBi99CyaNPGl9qEBL7aS9bKaoAE1yp-o7FrqjcdJH7cUAdpoAjLcZDJD_vei5EYd8hjZm21wBo8aHKixA/w227-h227/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(4).jpg" width="227" /></a></div>Now, I may never know if it this fluid is cancerous. I will have had three to four treatments and if it was cancer... it should be shrinking. It was a small amount of fluid. I am pretty sure they messed up and now it will be too late to determine. The main issue and question will be if it improves then there is a greater likelihood that it is cancer since treatment would make it shrink, but then again if it was something else it may would have improved on it's own anyway. All of this just frustrates me... we could have known for sure if they did the biopsy between 10/5-10/23... I bet you feel why I am frustrated and are right there with me!<p></p></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am not sure, but there is a real lack of communication between doctors, patients, care teams, and overall generally in the medical field. It is very different than 10 years ago, and not all for the better. I have seen and been on the wrong end of this type of situation throughout my entire 2023 cancer. So much of the responsibility falls on the patient - even though I am not a medical doctor. I have an MPH which has been beyond helpful in regards to knowing a bit of what should happen verses what is actually happening. It actually makes me more annoyed at the lack of professionalism and care that is happening. It is beyond advocating for yourself... it really feels more daunting than that.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><div>Later that day, when MD Anderson called me for my afternoon appointment, I stressed this information again. However, the person was more on the insurance end of things. They would relay the message to my care team, but I was flying out tomorrow. I am not sure anything can be done at this point. My TX appointments are set. I am doing a ton of things while I am there, but I am hopeful that we will leave with a few more answers. Maybe confirming that my treatment plan matches what we are doing here. I always said that if I had to do this again, I would get a 2nd opinion. So, here is me doing what I said I would do. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;">Inspiration - Of Monsters and Men, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A76a_LNIYwE" target="_blank">King and Lionheart</a></div><div style="text-align: right;">(their videos are always amazing too)</div><p></p><p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-26709003957202918142023-10-21T14:00:00.006-05:002023-12-02T23:02:52.544-06:00cancer walk 2023<p>I am so proud of my family. They all participated in a local 5K cancer walk. Plus, we ran into some of our friends who were there in honor of me and other cancer fighters too! I felt so lucky.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ6Nt1T-EMjRaikM5vU0YI7-3ymA9oJUnxldGIM9hD7combLccre54J2cTwMZv192GSogwEqt2lMdDbPl_v5WnK8EE2TNfvh5K2XdeZZH_zgE5uMlTzIHJCnokVh_5UDiAyqF9GmRtD89uTAPQxq-WVqiP7iZ3nS4bsroVQm7WzNPeSGBwomC0iBwgR0LZ/s1313/AirBrush_20231021172941.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1313" data-original-width="959" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ6Nt1T-EMjRaikM5vU0YI7-3ymA9oJUnxldGIM9hD7combLccre54J2cTwMZv192GSogwEqt2lMdDbPl_v5WnK8EE2TNfvh5K2XdeZZH_zgE5uMlTzIHJCnokVh_5UDiAyqF9GmRtD89uTAPQxq-WVqiP7iZ3nS4bsroVQm7WzNPeSGBwomC0iBwgR0LZ/s320/AirBrush_20231021172941.jpg" width="234" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg8WXd4IYLWbgavbyAqBY9YdQi_YW_R2-jWe0o3FnYVkKH6Ac-UQCcaytHSHUnmvkmfRlq27taeHKTqiCV0RlDLwNW1ZKhRvynnBoQJdfoIy5Q4DHE5UUfQlxKvnQLPFXinQdSBx_BLjARe77rsSqYlht5LLMjBa6S2JGtobuWkg03l4w4ojtp9x3UU-mB/s1595/AirBrush_20231021172341.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1595" data-original-width="1215" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg8WXd4IYLWbgavbyAqBY9YdQi_YW_R2-jWe0o3FnYVkKH6Ac-UQCcaytHSHUnmvkmfRlq27taeHKTqiCV0RlDLwNW1ZKhRvynnBoQJdfoIy5Q4DHE5UUfQlxKvnQLPFXinQdSBx_BLjARe77rsSqYlht5LLMjBa6S2JGtobuWkg03l4w4ojtp9x3UU-mB/s320/AirBrush_20231021172341.jpg" width="244" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRIL5E_ZErUaIA9CbbARzru_3Gr7eXwTowTjVEPUVyxo2YLjHO-6AegBkbeMbCfl1OKeDo1Sz7v0QsL0VEovXWf8BrX0UJABD34BCTZZjtuc5ZRLt3QDDYjaxIrzJHAyOGXjepMBZnQnoqMfvg_mEf6mzg1e7m7XLpS5rg0kFKdLUDGhppGFaKtRbpZMGT/s1647/AirBrush_20231021172630.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1647" data-original-width="1012" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRIL5E_ZErUaIA9CbbARzru_3Gr7eXwTowTjVEPUVyxo2YLjHO-6AegBkbeMbCfl1OKeDo1Sz7v0QsL0VEovXWf8BrX0UJABD34BCTZZjtuc5ZRLt3QDDYjaxIrzJHAyOGXjepMBZnQnoqMfvg_mEf6mzg1e7m7XLpS5rg0kFKdLUDGhppGFaKtRbpZMGT/s320/AirBrush_20231021172630.jpg" width="197" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPv6f93DiKIPWD2iqvUVt3Q_sgb8wcWB5SakV6HtHYdSv2k0H0Wt_eIhzKYMS_lh93bMMqhjj53b22r2glov0Syir9jzQDi5iehJfdkJ-C4vtrvVTckS2q8Ftvo_NJjSfNBgEvS7RHForKCI2GjgsQIW4tKMsCd_VXXVLKZ3Styi95U4R1HT_p7NC1UjKw/s1784/AirBrush_20231021121907.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1215" data-original-width="1784" height="136" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPv6f93DiKIPWD2iqvUVt3Q_sgb8wcWB5SakV6HtHYdSv2k0H0Wt_eIhzKYMS_lh93bMMqhjj53b22r2glov0Syir9jzQDi5iehJfdkJ-C4vtrvVTckS2q8Ftvo_NJjSfNBgEvS7RHForKCI2GjgsQIW4tKMsCd_VXXVLKZ3Styi95U4R1HT_p7NC1UjKw/w200-h136/AirBrush_20231021121907.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuuLvIMmohZuYpHAFOYjawz5BE1B_KFrnNJ4MvLF2eutS98pElyMoArZiqBI5eYuu8Jd15pOb2UQM7__I5GUsp92LKJYl2bfdQyJ45ta_v1qvNVaD1U41hUnxx3x70E-RdGDPmFUlZqZ_Gi-9JBDELe60-MUNvzKK6I3dkWleLJVvS3KMPQuwtL8dN_510/s4032/PXL_20231021_143327516.MP.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2268" data-original-width="4032" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuuLvIMmohZuYpHAFOYjawz5BE1B_KFrnNJ4MvLF2eutS98pElyMoArZiqBI5eYuu8Jd15pOb2UQM7__I5GUsp92LKJYl2bfdQyJ45ta_v1qvNVaD1U41hUnxx3x70E-RdGDPmFUlZqZ_Gi-9JBDELe60-MUNvzKK6I3dkWleLJVvS3KMPQuwtL8dN_510/w239-h135/PXL_20231021_143327516.MP.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgHLm4or0VkrMagKC8yO8Ww73zBo1CjC4OiIY7PsWlp2vxBBavybKodEnNU-2i44g_4OQOEFZ1ezImnMqbGT5lsOJpquAh2uNo3L560Z-ZDX3sM565aILeauagmVZetXhH3vgUSzlRq_YjGbG9dAYDgefuYsjY4VQdS4H_bba5Cm7f3suYK1xCTFBiAi6S/s1654/PXL_20231021_142015957.MP.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1654" data-original-width="1653" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgHLm4or0VkrMagKC8yO8Ww73zBo1CjC4OiIY7PsWlp2vxBBavybKodEnNU-2i44g_4OQOEFZ1ezImnMqbGT5lsOJpquAh2uNo3L560Z-ZDX3sM565aILeauagmVZetXhH3vgUSzlRq_YjGbG9dAYDgefuYsjY4VQdS4H_bba5Cm7f3suYK1xCTFBiAi6S/s320/PXL_20231021_142015957.MP.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjED6mQXiHIk1Gsh89bMXqYZZRyz70PaIi53DL278jjK03lsVg-TFffCw5kbt-tVXdwzWz8RTB0RdJ-88xd_3L2UvqT857kMooL_ZXjdHBhYtrejYqiwybjLOpX5OAtji7PTljU1seiaDHKrrAtPkPnFNUTLzvly6cNGtGyeWSD9iqaC0Bsalf2aR8cv4nL/s2160/AirBrush_20231021170602.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjED6mQXiHIk1Gsh89bMXqYZZRyz70PaIi53DL278jjK03lsVg-TFffCw5kbt-tVXdwzWz8RTB0RdJ-88xd_3L2UvqT857kMooL_ZXjdHBhYtrejYqiwybjLOpX5OAtji7PTljU1seiaDHKrrAtPkPnFNUTLzvly6cNGtGyeWSD9iqaC0Bsalf2aR8cv4nL/s320/AirBrush_20231021170602.jpg" width="180" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGOE_9eoROm0h-H4Ie4O0OncGnpPv8454O5Dc7F3wlNxOcD14m4aAs6AsetOVuSGCtW3r9B1BtEzAgB9ZcbkIgU4pLEumcJuVw2YrAbxEl8pc8RgO7UHaVI1iE8GghadAK2jytxae8J_MT7cdm1RdVCvUPzLuOQ21DKOS2bNBpRkFaKN5EDdgixpYG3jZP/s1653/AirBrush_20231021170721.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1653" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGOE_9eoROm0h-H4Ie4O0OncGnpPv8454O5Dc7F3wlNxOcD14m4aAs6AsetOVuSGCtW3r9B1BtEzAgB9ZcbkIgU4pLEumcJuVw2YrAbxEl8pc8RgO7UHaVI1iE8GghadAK2jytxae8J_MT7cdm1RdVCvUPzLuOQ21DKOS2bNBpRkFaKN5EDdgixpYG3jZP/s320/AirBrush_20231021170721.jpg" width="209" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg69IL4jdf3hbYcpC1-nT0W2I3HiprFcjctIjtR2aqqRCPLEzdHmHhinMATOauzAnp3_XA18rJING_RO69qIbkB4QlYAvN99fD9e5zIkuiX50nsJJyQhSr_9l74a5ns1BQN9cMRLyCPIySqO-XapuhZREJEykaqxp5uor1lmfRMo_Hwt1Okuxij6rzKnYtE/s1537/AirBrush_20231021172459.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1537" data-original-width="1210" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg69IL4jdf3hbYcpC1-nT0W2I3HiprFcjctIjtR2aqqRCPLEzdHmHhinMATOauzAnp3_XA18rJING_RO69qIbkB4QlYAvN99fD9e5zIkuiX50nsJJyQhSr_9l74a5ns1BQN9cMRLyCPIySqO-XapuhZREJEykaqxp5uor1lmfRMo_Hwt1Okuxij6rzKnYtE/s320/AirBrush_20231021172459.jpg" width="252" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_oAtUVzEEa2boKxm70pVmKzGQNtUG2KoMlBtKDXvRbKPWTLr94pI6VFWqNvkoVT2-SOjhRvW8lv7z0IBVCPqlKPmzRIG5hQ__czvyvYEYil2OYdsuF9CKLJyysoT8Tup1vhWEGcMtBUNBwzQlRLHVndFPuxwFuRvJOv9g6NAFZ9OM2x1EouvjG1DYbumM/s1747/AirBrush_20231021173125.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1747" data-original-width="1215" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_oAtUVzEEa2boKxm70pVmKzGQNtUG2KoMlBtKDXvRbKPWTLr94pI6VFWqNvkoVT2-SOjhRvW8lv7z0IBVCPqlKPmzRIG5hQ__czvyvYEYil2OYdsuF9CKLJyysoT8Tup1vhWEGcMtBUNBwzQlRLHVndFPuxwFuRvJOv9g6NAFZ9OM2x1EouvjG1DYbumM/s320/AirBrush_20231021173125.jpg" width="223" /></a></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvz8hO9C67z8vzAgfF-pgTt_VYvLlxK0MrBmb-aarxJeQyQOCDLhj651yeKGek4Iju0tzMwlNAA5hoPgqziDYNXMiYkuTcewPfe267JsSClYBj_8MaQ5Pq1AMm4veIxo-50Bav-zbMI9SldxGQlWjWfjsX4bxYzjWjkRlzio-X_9eVWIUSVAJNY_39lBdG/s994/AirBrush_20231021171405.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="994" data-original-width="849" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvz8hO9C67z8vzAgfF-pgTt_VYvLlxK0MrBmb-aarxJeQyQOCDLhj651yeKGek4Iju0tzMwlNAA5hoPgqziDYNXMiYkuTcewPfe267JsSClYBj_8MaQ5Pq1AMm4veIxo-50Bav-zbMI9SldxGQlWjWfjsX4bxYzjWjkRlzio-X_9eVWIUSVAJNY_39lBdG/s320/AirBrush_20231021171405.jpg" width="273" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFq2gDxtLK_UK9dNEKaf1XoGexkR35tMAyK348vuv08YL6RxHTh491enurutRsRW-iT7_r5na6Ef9EEvkFiBTd9V-DKWu0JXhGH8MjLzBHvxZaU44Fu3NhI46XAHhGKYYOI3S-JMRy6Zk1AhDDoIcNc3RYRpEXpnoumIXhEILtal451M-ysDVyfq3cHFRU/s1250/AirBrush_20231021171622.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1250" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFq2gDxtLK_UK9dNEKaf1XoGexkR35tMAyK348vuv08YL6RxHTh491enurutRsRW-iT7_r5na6Ef9EEvkFiBTd9V-DKWu0JXhGH8MjLzBHvxZaU44Fu3NhI46XAHhGKYYOI3S-JMRy6Zk1AhDDoIcNc3RYRpEXpnoumIXhEILtal451M-ysDVyfq3cHFRU/s320/AirBrush_20231021171622.jpg" width="230" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7NYdZT9691V1A-e9cyuD0eo3Tn_lotBd-rJKOqa8U4VbOgkpYBxkxfjpJHLbz32XJTmq_WJSNWBBPCU5CD3MowKoVbOhWQVkKLvX7oBmcKXCYJAdogYUJID4NINPs5h218LSa8JaxB8URj01Qx4UvAiecGnLCK3vGss7qtfCIo8Jm7N1h8Yhi3ZQc6INM/s4032/PXL_20231021_143047564.MP.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="2268" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7NYdZT9691V1A-e9cyuD0eo3Tn_lotBd-rJKOqa8U4VbOgkpYBxkxfjpJHLbz32XJTmq_WJSNWBBPCU5CD3MowKoVbOhWQVkKLvX7oBmcKXCYJAdogYUJID4NINPs5h218LSa8JaxB8URj01Qx4UvAiecGnLCK3vGss7qtfCIo8Jm7N1h8Yhi3ZQc6INM/s320/PXL_20231021_143047564.MP.jpg" width="180" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilg6gjUEEp2B5yvjUpWI9Es27gBSajNEmsGCBDT5V6oiXFa8UhfhGkZihR9WGPeCF7vtC74GKQBCVD676buN1C6h6jSQ-67VfncZ1fYIfvSc21mYhLnVeGKrur8NRMYSnbEC0grKwtY_xxw68FwXpDRiQI_yMtCt8nGJ-H-n8nKeGFJSZn0kYEHjSwW7Yt/s1190/PXL_20231021_144021496.MP.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1190" data-original-width="1183" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilg6gjUEEp2B5yvjUpWI9Es27gBSajNEmsGCBDT5V6oiXFa8UhfhGkZihR9WGPeCF7vtC74GKQBCVD676buN1C6h6jSQ-67VfncZ1fYIfvSc21mYhLnVeGKrur8NRMYSnbEC0grKwtY_xxw68FwXpDRiQI_yMtCt8nGJ-H-n8nKeGFJSZn0kYEHjSwW7Yt/s320/PXL_20231021_144021496.MP.jpg" width="318" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN9dgUhvcg4NcQGIM4mhPSji3qSKp8DYif33VHPho8-Keoadxh57IQswof1DABZeur2JdxUIhwpnlnEVI2IM6KvM-Xu1iu_MuBGt8TVlpdmEdv3-M96AJ_d-8VXxFTQp4LFtAO_e3uTBl7-1kHfZtK7_WhVG2AcOdldNPGozeHIHhmuEAzEXby_xPCbcdd/s1748/AirBrush_20231021172213.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1748" data-original-width="983" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN9dgUhvcg4NcQGIM4mhPSji3qSKp8DYif33VHPho8-Keoadxh57IQswof1DABZeur2JdxUIhwpnlnEVI2IM6KvM-Xu1iu_MuBGt8TVlpdmEdv3-M96AJ_d-8VXxFTQp4LFtAO_e3uTBl7-1kHfZtK7_WhVG2AcOdldNPGozeHIHhmuEAzEXby_xPCbcdd/s320/AirBrush_20231021172213.jpg" width="180" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-27485866785387394942023-10-17T20:59:00.003-05:002023-12-02T22:47:26.343-06:00the best laid schemes...<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7fCUWGrpWemWzcPuJgJBeqDrgp6HOj2B4b3T9-ySpDT-LQvxuOqzu-peDP3F7xOT7lwfwrV_4RD3HsWj0bk_5xJjvmkCf9sYQTWOXls8iXgQ4LVDXf7Som5qZNoffuDH0OQlgnQQPDVOUz6PMx4laUqONImefg8uzN5RSBQkXhpzAbt4uswLN09sJZWk3/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(3).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7fCUWGrpWemWzcPuJgJBeqDrgp6HOj2B4b3T9-ySpDT-LQvxuOqzu-peDP3F7xOT7lwfwrV_4RD3HsWj0bk_5xJjvmkCf9sYQTWOXls8iXgQ4LVDXf7Som5qZNoffuDH0OQlgnQQPDVOUz6PMx4laUqONImefg8uzN5RSBQkXhpzAbt4uswLN09sJZWk3/w231-h231/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(3).jpg" width="231" /></a></div>You make a plan, thinking it is all good... then bam, you wonder how you could be so stupid?!?<br /><p></p><p>So, it is my third week on chemo and it seemed like the perfect time to bring my daughter. It is early enough in treatment that I am not feeling as bad as I know I will. I know chemo treatment is cumulative, and I will feel worse as I go along. Plus, the Urologist gave me a copy of my CT results a few days ago. They didn't say anything and the Oncology group hasn't called me to say I have a problem. So, I'm going with the "no news if good news" theory. </p><p>I have warned my daughter multiple times about how boring going to treatment is... now she is about to find out what a boring long day of medical crap looks like. I warned her.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='229' height='191' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxBPXZ3Kca6ebKedLLzDsI95mfjbrvtjIxgzFR_1uGDoHC_Yr77Hlo4hrY0HF38f0J7VB3JJBEd5OThnsH8oA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>I should have known it would be one of those days, since I was scheduled for an afternoon appointment. Treatment generally takes me at least 5 hours... so this seems like a bad scheduling issues before we even start. After getting my labs done and before treatment, I had a quick stop with the Nurse Practitioner (NP). I let her know some of my main issues: some shortness of breath (especially while walking), nerve issues, balance issues, exhaustion, and some general I feel like I am on chemo side effects. I expected to hear the general - yep, it sucks to be you response. Instead, she lets me know there was actually some issues found on my CT scan from 10/5. The CT showed the fluid around my left lung and heart looked suspicious.<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikzfvzMBHJsxRz6xYiyadM2nw-nsQCIxhiVlBJI4p3-MpzK_wrpwS5QXCKmfFgQ4nC_w1pFBQ3Sg2byLIBvKx27fa6mIceFK0xvE0jLFj0srzV8nfH_ua0-sT-Jf9YNYd8JGPzoD_Qtj08t9smlVvxc6O9xeNWq6FasZd0x7SnfkvpOWOa77KwtXYFd6Eq/s3840/PXL_20231013_225002672.MP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3840" data-original-width="2160" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikzfvzMBHJsxRz6xYiyadM2nw-nsQCIxhiVlBJI4p3-MpzK_wrpwS5QXCKmfFgQ4nC_w1pFBQ3Sg2byLIBvKx27fa6mIceFK0xvE0jLFj0srzV8nfH_ua0-sT-Jf9YNYd8JGPzoD_Qtj08t9smlVvxc6O9xeNWq6FasZd0x7SnfkvpOWOa77KwtXYFd6Eq/s320/PXL_20231013_225002672.MP.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>At this point, I have an "oh, crap... I brought my kid to an appointment where she is going to hear more concerning news." And I had. The fluid around the left lung and heart could be my cancer has spread. I guess I was thinking the fluid wasn't cancer related, and more an issue from when the doctor did the failed port attempt. I really had thought maybe it was damage from that, especially since the fluid/breathing issues had been gradually getting worse for a few weeks prior to any cancer treatment. I think that was also concerning to them - this is not something that started when I got on treatment. It was starting prior. Of course, if it gets better then there will be the concern that it validates the possibility it was cancerous since it improved with chemo. <p></p><p>When I asked the NP about doing a biopsy, she said that it would be too risky to do a biopsy as it would likely collapse my lung. Well that doesn't sound promising! Plus, I don't know when I could get in to do a biopsy or if I should risk the possibility of them collapsing my lung since I am headed to MD Anderson next week. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqrU4_mpKWmHEEWqOWl2yV0aRZJExxKNOb3C7ElWqsJm_O3GzBh7FdyPyxFo7Y3ek8g4BTay6JCA985saj5zPu32l91ph8ACNW5bO1PnWnG3cbZ20s-CvXo8zYz8W6AH-5XvRfdFCX8x1n5co0UFRKW2nmUjVFAcySjfMQoyvXTFnjUEKTpBHH7BngG1uv/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(4).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqrU4_mpKWmHEEWqOWl2yV0aRZJExxKNOb3C7ElWqsJm_O3GzBh7FdyPyxFo7Y3ek8g4BTay6JCA985saj5zPu32l91ph8ACNW5bO1PnWnG3cbZ20s-CvXo8zYz8W6AH-5XvRfdFCX8x1n5co0UFRKW2nmUjVFAcySjfMQoyvXTFnjUEKTpBHH7BngG1uv/w228-h228/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(4).jpg" width="228" /></a></div><i>Unfortunately, I did not think about it at the time, but I am upset and not sure why they waited this long to tell me. They could have called me with the results or told me that I needed an earlier appointment. Waiting almost two weeks is really bad on their part. I could have had the biopsy during this time... and at least I would know if it is Stage 4 or not. Now, I will not really know and will have to be extra diligent about my health after I finish this treatment. I am actually really disappointed about this... but at the time, I didn't think to complain or ask about this. Honestly, I was more shocked and worried about my daughter and her reaction to hearing this.</i><p></p><p><i>Later, I spent all week trying to get MD Anderson to schedule a biopsy of that fluid, but no one there responded to my calls or concerns regarding this. It is hard since I am not established with the doctors yet. I am very upset and frustrated at the entire situation, but there is only so much I can do.</i></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYskXJ0m7KnEuNQZZ8sInfTsnrV6-sOQog7GTmIJJAaBA4WOGk5AceqpMxfydZWPHooDXmeFML_aSDJWew3Dcre7By1tAMvUEA2QLDr_6T3AyQewqN9n6EnCxrEcmHJ1Z9SmARvmTkYWw2lxo_XrcPHNOR-nTHpb_8ZgfHCbMsG41LkrlsUAn0powC6M0J/s2160/AirBrush_20231018065839.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYskXJ0m7KnEuNQZZ8sInfTsnrV6-sOQog7GTmIJJAaBA4WOGk5AceqpMxfydZWPHooDXmeFML_aSDJWew3Dcre7By1tAMvUEA2QLDr_6T3AyQewqN9n6EnCxrEcmHJ1Z9SmARvmTkYWw2lxo_XrcPHNOR-nTHpb_8ZgfHCbMsG41LkrlsUAn0powC6M0J/w180-h320/AirBrush_20231018065839.jpg" width="180" /></a><b>Back to Daughter Chemo Day! </b>One good thing, is I have a great relationship with my daughter. And she is used to these unexpected medical new/situations happening. So, it would take a lot to surprise her at this point (well, that goes for either of my kids or husband too). We put the semi-bad-news or news-that-isn't-news-news aside and spent time hanging out.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmyDJ9DNNv1rqnkuNYKRnStMSMuonPXot0Ggozm5Neyj-ILhU63QtEx25PCstYNe86w_Y_JHRg64U4PLKW5ZtYrGyVXJ-jiQADqQefxOBuZSRlj_2me3A0KZhVGrgpZg7hDRYLK5kReV0lifuky-6YUDkI1VvV8hbDA5Ui2NFpRCXSiFk8SJBQpB7eJsXW/s1952/AirBrush_20231018070546.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1952" data-original-width="1215" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmyDJ9DNNv1rqnkuNYKRnStMSMuonPXot0Ggozm5Neyj-ILhU63QtEx25PCstYNe86w_Y_JHRg64U4PLKW5ZtYrGyVXJ-jiQADqQefxOBuZSRlj_2me3A0KZhVGrgpZg7hDRYLK5kReV0lifuky-6YUDkI1VvV8hbDA5Ui2NFpRCXSiFk8SJBQpB7eJsXW/w199-h320/AirBrush_20231018070546.jpg" width="199" /></a>She agrees that chemo treatment is quite boring. The first part of treatment is a bit of warm blankets and small talk while they give me a ton of anti-nausea medications. Then they put my hands and feet in ice for a few hours while I am passed out on Benadryl (and other anti-nauseous meds). I wake up cold... wanting warm blankets. Then we finally have some time to talk a bit and share some time being creative together. She is very talented, and she drew in her own notebook alongside me. Plus, she also took some video of me, as she is working on a film about our cancer experience. </div><h4 style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Art Journal Entries for In Treatment Chemo #3 & Week 3</h4><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSIzXwwRFUkAXXNnR1Y_YqwEl2FFUij-Qr7fcQx3Nibs4U0xv4GZO04IOQjFx4l32rKQMFAhzTTttv1N_I5EHUkeMmp8yZq97kD9pds5p3NRxhFofwYUzAK94d8Ju1iJ8F5DH6fNVCkjccIGSBRy9tYgd6CQxRMTO3WbEk3sk7Kixc0q4nl4eVfh1OhwAu/s2343/AJ%203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2343" data-original-width="1664" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSIzXwwRFUkAXXNnR1Y_YqwEl2FFUij-Qr7fcQx3Nibs4U0xv4GZO04IOQjFx4l32rKQMFAhzTTttv1N_I5EHUkeMmp8yZq97kD9pds5p3NRxhFofwYUzAK94d8Ju1iJ8F5DH6fNVCkjccIGSBRy9tYgd6CQxRMTO3WbEk3sk7Kixc0q4nl4eVfh1OhwAu/w142-h200/AJ%203.jpg" width="142" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiZf_kjvtBBFJuWtEbZD2srOphduWhtQ5CSgfGb2aZrXMQe_ngZBcQcQSKOutv2DKosnXaOJ7wtlu6IYIeeZpA1XJNCLl1o4wsae8kUeBTKu2QxK44eniRU-pmRMyPwEuPPj6qGQYCX9aGcWy7Hfm4mwE1ZYiy6T69UV3Vewe15124uF3VAhN0cYqaiRCJ/s2423/AJ%203.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2423" data-original-width="1613" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiZf_kjvtBBFJuWtEbZD2srOphduWhtQ5CSgfGb2aZrXMQe_ngZBcQcQSKOutv2DKosnXaOJ7wtlu6IYIeeZpA1XJNCLl1o4wsae8kUeBTKu2QxK44eniRU-pmRMyPwEuPPj6qGQYCX9aGcWy7Hfm4mwE1ZYiy6T69UV3Vewe15124uF3VAhN0cYqaiRCJ/w133-h200/AJ%203.1.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnqzqC1xNGp9uJLWJHg3o_xdUH9KO9mXML3NJBdD5tWaek2Z9ypVx6RQcZM_cJ40DSs9GFYK2HEgzPi7-KShnLaRsWRdu3sBQB-b1nHSZXXVvcYhc_jW5_tnS2tHi3WMbf7JZNsSlY0eWlKkPm-qG9OMEMXwt1rIQZapVLTjOS_aSK3ASkr-NYy_jviRNx/s1280/me&j.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="859" data-original-width="1280" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnqzqC1xNGp9uJLWJHg3o_xdUH9KO9mXML3NJBdD5tWaek2Z9ypVx6RQcZM_cJ40DSs9GFYK2HEgzPi7-KShnLaRsWRdu3sBQB-b1nHSZXXVvcYhc_jW5_tnS2tHi3WMbf7JZNsSlY0eWlKkPm-qG9OMEMXwt1rIQZapVLTjOS_aSK3ASkr-NYy_jviRNx/w252-h169/me&j.jpg" width="252" /></a></div><b>Flashback Memory!</b> It was funny, but her being there reminded me of when I took my son 10 years ago. He was 13 at the time, but it was his first experience at chemo (<a href="https://www.tatawarrior.com/2013/08/one-full-dose-down-three-to-go.html" target="_blank">if interested, read about his visit at my 2013 treatment here</a>). During his visit, I played a tiny trick on him. I was thinking of what I could do to my daughter, but it turned out I didn't have to come up with anything on my own...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ1D8kZCCybwWWJWK9LCqXqvaC1emund0yNBgi7kEU3UAkfxYLGljeN4HvjYF0fEy8jWI1E67RJ2Dy8oK-4A4jBE6ZnjDpelL84AKIC-VSe7PNQo94rH4_8a5ZuL07RabdAjfkHMUWVc5qVV5hqwGA_pOG39sqke7DcXfbQjgG6N1a71d6SliyUt1g4Kgk/s2160/AirBrush_20231018070423.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ1D8kZCCybwWWJWK9LCqXqvaC1emund0yNBgi7kEU3UAkfxYLGljeN4HvjYF0fEy8jWI1E67RJ2Dy8oK-4A4jBE6ZnjDpelL84AKIC-VSe7PNQo94rH4_8a5ZuL07RabdAjfkHMUWVc5qVV5hqwGA_pOG39sqke7DcXfbQjgG6N1a71d6SliyUt1g4Kgk/w145-h256/AirBrush_20231018070423.jpg" width="145" /></a>They had scheduled me for an afternoon treatment - bad decision. Since I was nauseous, they had to slow down my treatment. Now, it was very late, and we were one of the last people in the building. There were only two nurses left, mine and the one other guy still getting treatment too. At this point, I really needed to pee, so I got up to go. Of course, I had not checked my chemo bag since it beeps and carries on when low. However, what I didn't know was that it was essentially empty. So, as I was headed to the bathroom, I looked down and the blood was seeping out of my port and headed up the IV line towards the bag. I definitely didn't like the look of it. I changed directions from the bathroom back to my daughter, calling out for her (she was on the phone with my mom). She realized I was serious by my tone, hung up on my mom, and looked up to see the blood going up the IV line. Her face looked horrified. She immediately got the nurse, who clipped the line so I could go to the bathroom. I felt that after that, she didn't really need me to play a trick on her. One happened naturally... it freaked me out too!</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0zpELjJYTuDVtg5ZfUFkmo9aXUSISJWWk3TrexpJLJDxwfsMhFtmjq6DYZZDlDeanDBEeKVZ1kSjAJxezMPU3h9bR8j3YqmSgiDGUWu6l0wt0dcGHxMAxD3pUqY_2CL6ZRByQAepRU9jt4WJfVTdX1XM5j6oKbz1kD94qW43Yjn2lKydwBZJxSgHB4jsr/s1757/AirBrush_20231015202512~2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1757" data-original-width="1215" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0zpELjJYTuDVtg5ZfUFkmo9aXUSISJWWk3TrexpJLJDxwfsMhFtmjq6DYZZDlDeanDBEeKVZ1kSjAJxezMPU3h9bR8j3YqmSgiDGUWu6l0wt0dcGHxMAxD3pUqY_2CL6ZRByQAepRU9jt4WJfVTdX1XM5j6oKbz1kD94qW43Yjn2lKydwBZJxSgHB4jsr/s320/AirBrush_20231015202512~2.jpg" width="221" /></a></div><br /><h4 style="text-align: left;">Inspiration for this Week:</h4></div><div><div>"The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men</div><div> Gang aft agley,"</div></div><div><br /></div><div>- <a href="https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43816/to-a-mouse-56d222ab36e33" target="_blank">To a Mouse</a> by Robert Burns</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-49423855072749202552023-10-13T19:52:00.031-05:002023-12-02T22:48:34.167-06:00from chemo to pee to future rad things<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhf1qOGfzMW8cRYPFgobgMMpz0rTjdheYA11ZRFLSRaXDW_MBgG87irw-rSb0PV9_9B45lBc6FguqbGE4AVOxHprNAe0947xEUB9UFv3Ws2tlvciUL6Mz6myaLgg_sHvOxsTRcEWXDBIG5iJAIiXKLpCoDpEkJkswNlJ6LHsnuC0ahcuHmjFYFAWqrmTOB/s2160/AirBrush_20231011135624.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhf1qOGfzMW8cRYPFgobgMMpz0rTjdheYA11ZRFLSRaXDW_MBgG87irw-rSb0PV9_9B45lBc6FguqbGE4AVOxHprNAe0947xEUB9UFv3Ws2tlvciUL6Mz6myaLgg_sHvOxsTRcEWXDBIG5iJAIiXKLpCoDpEkJkswNlJ6LHsnuC0ahcuHmjFYFAWqrmTOB/w110-h196/AirBrush_20231011135624.jpg" width="110" /></a></div>Another week of doctor's appointments and my 2nd week of chemo is complete. I spent about 5-6 hours getting 2 chemotherapies (check me on picture to right, headed into treatment on a very early Tuesday morning). I am super proud of myself. It was a long day, and I have some issues with nausea so they have to push the chemotherapies a bit slower to help me out. And despite feeling pretty tired, right after chemo, I went to the Urologist... well actually his NP. I am not sure if the appointment was successful or not. Mainly, she just prescribed me medicine. <p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1aQhipOtEeKy9PXDejCcLWDTpru9rq5glxwPK5KYQm-YyR0f3AOSBq6imkgSzNy8vcQoUuIJP2hFCD9JJzWZ198RCmqnxAjONDxD64cU5fKPlxm949IijqkeJt7r972fC05pvFsQrS0DtjgnbwFJ5mBaqytgSeHn7_giJ8qCmQS2p8x7WZJ2NR03O1rrN/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1aQhipOtEeKy9PXDejCcLWDTpru9rq5glxwPK5KYQm-YyR0f3AOSBq6imkgSzNy8vcQoUuIJP2hFCD9JJzWZ198RCmqnxAjONDxD64cU5fKPlxm949IijqkeJt7r972fC05pvFsQrS0DtjgnbwFJ5mBaqytgSeHn7_giJ8qCmQS2p8x7WZJ2NR03O1rrN/w233-h233/Chemo%20makes%20me.jpg" width="233" /></a></div>Why? Who doesn't want to hear about my pee issues?!? Not that I hold back from the insanity that revolves around my life and cancer. Plus, I think it is good to share that cancer causes crazy side effects - so others know they are not alone. For me, this cancer go-round, I happen to have bladder issues. My ability to hold pee is going haywire... mainly at night. Because why not? It's not like I don't already have enough issues. Let's add either attempting to sleep-pee or an urgency that makes it hard to make it to the toilet. <p></p><p>Of course, I was curious if it had anything to do with my original scan showing issues in the Mesentery and Iliad areas. However, no doctor seems that concerned about it, so I am hoping I shouldn't be too. I think every doctor has the attitude that if any extra things are cancer then the chemo will get it. That doesn't really make me feel better. I think I would rather know one way or another. Yet, it is more like every doctor here feels like they don't have to investigate issues, but just medicate them.</p><p class="font_8"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-YcjxJgL_V8bm3QV_Hkw7bbgmpU-gaFDNallIGqu9DIoIgfcnlC4tzcnnTcUL-cvKbT0g0LsH_1Dv6onff00mMUhs4Bh6M6x_by_jECKmUssdFcH5xQp-L7OxWtcU9NMnp6H5Nc1gKxiYZg7Vju1-AAWYroPBoDZmpDF98Q_N_d4Ydf9xAtg1zmtoZ2wG/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(1).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-YcjxJgL_V8bm3QV_Hkw7bbgmpU-gaFDNallIGqu9DIoIgfcnlC4tzcnnTcUL-cvKbT0g0LsH_1Dv6onff00mMUhs4Bh6M6x_by_jECKmUssdFcH5xQp-L7OxWtcU9NMnp6H5Nc1gKxiYZg7Vju1-AAWYroPBoDZmpDF98Q_N_d4Ydf9xAtg1zmtoZ2wG/w217-h217/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(1).jpg" width="217" /></a></div>On Thursday, I went to my regularly scheduled pain management appointment. Then Friday, I met with the Radiation Oncologist. It was the same doctor I used 10 years ago. It is kind of funny since when he walked in the room I was like you still look so similar... only the wear-and-tear of a few years added on. I wondered if he felt the same way. <p></p><p class="font_8"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE5I7KhZAXVeoD1kHQBA5HdAzty_RYQI20iDolHhZTPuTTux6EcGDjt_XDGL1Mf8yRKg0Mah52uNlJKL0qNWLbrEn1XJjtzpzQtZt9rOlI-T1PHyo1Eb4PU-p2WLK3Z34KbnAnV4qXQVrnLGqinJ22wXbgzESr30rPbbZ8P0k94eSeW-iajc88rTPPPVWA/s1080/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(2).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE5I7KhZAXVeoD1kHQBA5HdAzty_RYQI20iDolHhZTPuTTux6EcGDjt_XDGL1Mf8yRKg0Mah52uNlJKL0qNWLbrEn1XJjtzpzQtZt9rOlI-T1PHyo1Eb4PU-p2WLK3Z34KbnAnV4qXQVrnLGqinJ22wXbgzESr30rPbbZ8P0k94eSeW-iajc88rTPPPVWA/w201-h201/Chemo%20makes%20me%20(2).jpg" width="201" /></a></div>I did like that he was the first doctor to actual say the name of my cancer out loud, "Occult Cancer." It has been odd no doctor has said a name of the type of cancer I have. I mean, they all have said breast cancer, but no one has said what type of breast cancer it is. The only way I knew what type it was (up until now) was from my own research online. No one really wanted to name it... but finally someone did. He did clarify it has nothing to do with the occult... but I like that it has a weird name... it makes it sound interesting at least!<p></p><p class="font_8">After some general background medical talking and a breast exam, the Radiation Oncologist went over the basics of my treatment plan. It seems it will be similar to 10 years ago. Probably 7 weeks of radiation. It will focus on the lymph nodes and breast area. The main difference is I will have to take a deep breath and hold it in - it is at that point that the radiation will happen. The machine will be able to tell when I am expanding my lungs or not and know when to radiate me. The deep breaths will expand my lungs and open up the area to avoid radiating my heart. And that sounds necessary! I guess I didn't think about my heart - but it is on the left side which is where my cancer is this time. I am glad to have some general information about what he would do. It will also be good to compare it to what MD Anderson would do.</p><p class="font_8">For now, another week with a ton of doctor's appointments is over. When I look ahead, next week is pretty slow in comparison but the very busy MD Anderson appointments is barely over a week away... and that week will be exhausting.</p><p class="font_8">Also, here are my art journal drawings from while IN CHEMO TREATMENT and WEEK 2 - hope you enjoy!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxxBt_Z6l-VjNpEkP-FqHytAV33GfXAcYiuwp8H49uglfaVhzFmMvP_QmcoYvINrcJNjNirLTU1DLWRVp4A8Lh3_kEjLT6fA2Fuu5FO3_lqzR62uRzfySZJ0Twu6wMb4ocx_DTq_et6tmflMmoq6PRB-grrKIsKLI3ercBo5eIbw6UYrE6pcLT2gySIoYK/s2254/AJ%202.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="In Chemo Drawing" border="0" data-original-height="2254" data-original-width="1705" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxxBt_Z6l-VjNpEkP-FqHytAV33GfXAcYiuwp8H49uglfaVhzFmMvP_QmcoYvINrcJNjNirLTU1DLWRVp4A8Lh3_kEjLT6fA2Fuu5FO3_lqzR62uRzfySZJ0Twu6wMb4ocx_DTq_et6tmflMmoq6PRB-grrKIsKLI3ercBo5eIbw6UYrE6pcLT2gySIoYK/w242-h320/AJ%202.jpg" title="In Chemo Drawing" width="242" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggcWvABxBrAyvm07RbD3h0nbYN6B2V-klxO6KsM7qaGnp4e2RZUi_XzpT8j2wbPAzuwVu8yEPgVTD9yHS2qHkpkO8OFgE5GaWisS8roA5CuSJs66RKEt3eR5pCEB79g1fuRZZeegkwIfZ45h2OQUVoFykH_WnwqBvckNL06UKFMRfS0gV5Y25OsCFT6l9B/s2410/AJ%202.1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Week 2 Chemo Drawing" border="0" data-original-height="2410" data-original-width="1834" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggcWvABxBrAyvm07RbD3h0nbYN6B2V-klxO6KsM7qaGnp4e2RZUi_XzpT8j2wbPAzuwVu8yEPgVTD9yHS2qHkpkO8OFgE5GaWisS8roA5CuSJs66RKEt3eR5pCEB79g1fuRZZeegkwIfZ45h2OQUVoFykH_WnwqBvckNL06UKFMRfS0gV5Y25OsCFT6l9B/w243-h320/AJ%202.1.jpg" title="Week 2 Chemo Drawing" width="243" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><p class="font_8"></p><h4 style="text-align: center;">And My Inspiration this Week:</h4><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhF_3qa1B-nTj8SSge0pJwf0dcc2VdodKruGZfq-_385d4XyjWCCT4Ge_gvNEYPvGLqcz5TNDIFb8wCMNyJGy2CsjRVxA99IcpOmGLZNxSPZbYsR0JH0EpncJXLVzTQPvrcPKZE9yZo0kZ7M0ZYinHFgJWAkYRxWmz_-CbHvY3X-4oIQst5Pg-4pEoaKo5_" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="401" data-original-width="570" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhF_3qa1B-nTj8SSge0pJwf0dcc2VdodKruGZfq-_385d4XyjWCCT4Ge_gvNEYPvGLqcz5TNDIFb8wCMNyJGy2CsjRVxA99IcpOmGLZNxSPZbYsR0JH0EpncJXLVzTQPvrcPKZE9yZo0kZ7M0ZYinHFgJWAkYRxWmz_-CbHvY3X-4oIQst5Pg-4pEoaKo5_" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><div><i>(Side Note for Those with Bladder Issues - from cancer or not: Myrbetriq was prescribed to me - it says it is for an overactive bladder which is not necessarily my issue - however, it has helped me. It is expensive, $500-$600 every month, but there are other options out there that are effective for a lot less, $70/mo. If you are having issues with your bladder - ask about the various medication options available and hopefully it will help you too!)</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-81378145986768761632023-10-07T21:57:00.013-05:002023-11-16T15:28:33.694-06:00happy birthday to me... almost<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLOannuLsS3M7o5V6ZX9HuD7PB4IMFxgj_6XRi4yQ_VYYx0N9K-xNRGT3pikQCHXPPOWH_lDPnbz3rz7R036JOZVAypETAUgVp5FUz_0oA4YLRTUXg2SMFmhnV9qXVXIBvbyVx04podaXeIMKWRvzOzKT-_Q_e-X03vKPrisA43EG3BfNZToG5zhyphenhyphen-bIJp/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(11).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLOannuLsS3M7o5V6ZX9HuD7PB4IMFxgj_6XRi4yQ_VYYx0N9K-xNRGT3pikQCHXPPOWH_lDPnbz3rz7R036JOZVAypETAUgVp5FUz_0oA4YLRTUXg2SMFmhnV9qXVXIBvbyVx04podaXeIMKWRvzOzKT-_Q_e-X03vKPrisA43EG3BfNZToG5zhyphenhyphen-bIJp/w197-h197/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(11).jpg" width="197" /></a></div>Let's rewind a bit and start a few days before my birthday...<p></p><p>I had my first cancer treatment day on October 3rd - check it out if you haven't read that <a href="https://www.tatawarrior.com/2023/10/here-we-go-again-on-my-own.html" target="_blank">blog post</a> yet. Let's just think of it as an early birthday gift since my birthday is October 7th. Great gift, right?!?</p><p>If I have to hear "Happy Early" or "Late Birthday" from another medical person, I might have to smack someone. Especially, since I have spent most of the weeks leading up to and after my birthday at a medical appointment regarding cancer. Not really loving my birthday this year. Let's just say, on my birthday, I woke up with a special chemo-side-effect-surprise at 2am. That fun surprise I will share later...</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqn-4wHA7y-1SNyZSKsbHBDjIEcRQpRwNt2fiEhgrsMQ5rAM-9RKVFBEXt3MRP7Vyniu5GuSFugIsC7_P-aaKyRcrCT5ldYgM035Cma4hZoEshUVFWNKrC7u6mphLeMwfxznWudBpD3NEPsJLlIsPoyruyzJRWtamwLjmVMZDGIb_WtdvGMjSleDGxdKZR/s1641/PXL_20231004_190116144.MP.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1641" data-original-width="1583" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqn-4wHA7y-1SNyZSKsbHBDjIEcRQpRwNt2fiEhgrsMQ5rAM-9RKVFBEXt3MRP7Vyniu5GuSFugIsC7_P-aaKyRcrCT5ldYgM035Cma4hZoEshUVFWNKrC7u6mphLeMwfxznWudBpD3NEPsJLlIsPoyruyzJRWtamwLjmVMZDGIb_WtdvGMjSleDGxdKZR/w196-h203/PXL_20231004_190116144.MP.jpg" width="196" /></a></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Rewind a Few Days... Update</h4>But first, let's go to October 4th, the day after my grueling 8 hours of immunotherapy and two chemotherapies on the 3rd. I woke up swollen, red faced, and fevering, as well as feeling pretty crummy. I didn't have time to dwell on it since I have 2 more doctor's appointments to tend to on the next day... yikes!<p></p><p>On October 5th I got myself up (despite feeling bad) and went to 2 doctor's appointments. First, I got my hearing checked by my ENT (I have bilateral hearing loss). As expected, my hearing had gotten worse. It is strange because 10 years ago, right before I found out I had cancer, my hearing loss started. Now, fast forward 10 years, and my hearing loss got worse right when this cancer started too. Not sure if it is an odd coincidence or somehow connected. I may never know. </p><p>However, I will say I expect it to change again. Chemotherapy tends to make hearing loss worse, so I am prepared that after a year in treatment I should expect to see more changes to my hearing. For those who don't know that chemo can affect your hearing - it can. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOUSnGgW5Yvg5nYhJHJeclJMW5MJnlM0UkhOpy2ujrJLeQUfO_HdWQZjwSADNNxEXOJWXA0CU4AKKhCePcUFyQyi2SGh18FVm2-MOxOaZv7F-1ZbIPDFUsjpSKZ55aMQVgcxZQAT3jt72kn9XeLSHYhm2FEjmgefIgytrQ3KlC2neQEcEvg73SJU0iKazO/s4032/PXL_20231005_183759677.MP%20(2).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="2268" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOUSnGgW5Yvg5nYhJHJeclJMW5MJnlM0UkhOpy2ujrJLeQUfO_HdWQZjwSADNNxEXOJWXA0CU4AKKhCePcUFyQyi2SGh18FVm2-MOxOaZv7F-1ZbIPDFUsjpSKZ55aMQVgcxZQAT3jt72kn9XeLSHYhm2FEjmgefIgytrQ3KlC2neQEcEvg73SJU0iKazO/s320/PXL_20231005_183759677.MP%20(2).jpg" width="180" /></a></div>Immediately after this appointment, I had to book it to the cancer center's testing facility to get a CT scan. Honestly, I had forgotten about this appointment. My husband called me to remind me.. he was like aren't you supposed to be at the cancer center? For some reason, I thought the time was later in the day. I barely had enough time to get there.<div><br /></div><div>When I got there, I thought it would be normal appointment. I didn't realize I was going to have to wait for an hour to drink 2 bottles of water before I could have the CT. My mom actually drove out my medication and waited with me until I was called back. I was grateful she could bring the medication to me... plus, hanging with here was definitely the high point of my day.</div><div><br /></div><div>The reason for the CT is to have a starting point of where my cancer is and as a way to later compare and check to see if the treatment is working. I want to have an accurate look at how big and how far my cancer is in my lymph nodes (and beyond - if any). And just like any chest CT, it was pretty standard. My really challenge is that I didn't want to use my port for the IV contrast needed today since I just used the port a few days ago for chemotherapy. I am still really sore. I mean I should be sore, right?<div><br /><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2RFimXkBY-YwO7D3kYeQUGIHEyhgeVadj7b7F8RMFUXtWJzJIr7GFpmwtiv8JF4X9NNmm4Rc35Cw4sQlaFrmvHaX_SI-7VUbX6SWcLfTH_72DUgsoaE7DAfCqMRFENiIiOTKB_MFgj66zbI00RW-S5BsAXWA04aoV1fDK0e8JqwF7jsGR9EOO8KkzKhmv/s4032/PXL_20231007_202145256.MP%20(1).jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="2268" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2RFimXkBY-YwO7D3kYeQUGIHEyhgeVadj7b7F8RMFUXtWJzJIr7GFpmwtiv8JF4X9NNmm4Rc35Cw4sQlaFrmvHaX_SI-7VUbX6SWcLfTH_72DUgsoaE7DAfCqMRFENiIiOTKB_MFgj66zbI00RW-S5BsAXWA04aoV1fDK0e8JqwF7jsGR9EOO8KkzKhmv/w105-h186/PXL_20231007_202145256.MP%20(1).jpg" width="105" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfsNMdVaMFaKmnlplI592c6xkVjvBrdyuR_Nj9gsr69sjlJIHLJKO-3mRO0Z-tSWjO_To86k8Xq0OuDCad67oLhoXytH9RKodJttgeoy0MqC3Satv-Fg-NZDPclsMHQsqyMBVLxrrAqttYFNWfFRezVCipXXf6XW9T5dU6_LC3mHRc4SyRjWuUNEgbfMhR/s3223/PXL_20231007_202208392.MP%20(2).jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3223" data-original-width="1793" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfsNMdVaMFaKmnlplI592c6xkVjvBrdyuR_Nj9gsr69sjlJIHLJKO-3mRO0Z-tSWjO_To86k8Xq0OuDCad67oLhoXytH9RKodJttgeoy0MqC3Satv-Fg-NZDPclsMHQsqyMBVLxrrAqttYFNWfFRezVCipXXf6XW9T5dU6_LC3mHRc4SyRjWuUNEgbfMhR/w103-h186/PXL_20231007_202208392.MP%20(2).jpg" width="103" /></a></div>As you can see, I am still pretty bruised up from the failed port attempt and the successful one. I am not really excited or thrilled about anyone jabbing a needle into my port currently. My scars are still fresh and the bruising still hurts. I know I have to do it for chemotherapy, but for these other procedures I am trying to use my arm. And my arm, is not really wanting me to use it. My veins are not cooperating! <br /><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoBlGNCjbfcdont38nAj6uwh3C9PN7pQQ7tnqmnl6LaXKq2-kYaWMlxGopcK-NV-_lUn9kPnMZ-s59WDDdqeDCd5jKl6iL0q0cKSW1siogO2BgKNx9RJYiNuavqzhpwxquV5UdtdRPubMu5OSaNRVeftxt9dAti9DKLgIdTQ8Z4NnfUPipq3-3JOcLej_9/s3840/PXL_20231005_185450084.MP%20(2).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3840" data-original-width="2160" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoBlGNCjbfcdont38nAj6uwh3C9PN7pQQ7tnqmnl6LaXKq2-kYaWMlxGopcK-NV-_lUn9kPnMZ-s59WDDdqeDCd5jKl6iL0q0cKSW1siogO2BgKNx9RJYiNuavqzhpwxquV5UdtdRPubMu5OSaNRVeftxt9dAti9DKLgIdTQ8Z4NnfUPipq3-3JOcLej_9/s320/PXL_20231005_185450084.MP%20(2).jpg" width="180" /></a></div>So after a few attempts in my arm, they finally got an IV in so I could have a CT with contrast. The one great thing about CTs is they are fast. Compared to any other scan... they are fast and easy. You only have to hold your breath a few times and go through the slight sensation of peeing yourself (which thankfully you aren't) during the scan. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjnmzb4Jr8r1JKCN4gXImAFaomLsvBFoBYd3CDR7MyQvgaUbI8idUrYRqieKA6g26vKYVFDOrpvkvZqTk5iygC0r7PpxKMIov2eYqvnuBwsqC7x_PN4bivdDhvov9Hzr3rZcH7cWsQeaGFjbjTuiDiWQWLo8hhRRMn83VP7veG6ZY5VbzXGy7SfRC_XUR4/s887/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(12).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="830" data-original-width="887" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjnmzb4Jr8r1JKCN4gXImAFaomLsvBFoBYd3CDR7MyQvgaUbI8idUrYRqieKA6g26vKYVFDOrpvkvZqTk5iygC0r7PpxKMIov2eYqvnuBwsqC7x_PN4bivdDhvov9Hzr3rZcH7cWsQeaGFjbjTuiDiWQWLo8hhRRMn83VP7veG6ZY5VbzXGy7SfRC_XUR4/w216-h202/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(12).jpg" width="216" /></a></div><br />And compared to everything else I have done... CTs are like stopping to smell the roses!</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><br /></h4><h4 style="text-align: left;">Now Back to My Regularly Scheduled Happy Birthday Supposed to Be Relaxing Day Blog Post</h4><div>Now that I was finished with these appointments, I was thinking I could spend a quiet Saturday birthday getting some much needed rest. Sucker!</div><div><br /></div><div>I woke up at 2am on my birthday with <a href="https://www.cancer.org/cancer/managing-cancer/side-effects/eating-problems/mouth-sores.html" target="_blank">mouth and throat sores</a>. I had forgotten how miserable these are. The memory of these from 10 years ago came back to me pretty quick in the dark hours of the night. I could barely swallow. It felt like my entire lining of my throat was closed up. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to wake anyone, so I tiptoed around the house trying ice chips, popsicles, and attempting to drink water and hydrate myself. It all hurt so bad. I cannot describe how horrible chemo mouth/throat sores are. I can say it looks like strep, ulcers, and everything else attacked the inside lining of your mouth/throat.</div><div><br /></div><div>And of course this is going to happen on a weekend. The doctors are all out, and I will have to leave a message with someone and wait for someone to call me back. Since I have had this before, I know I need a prescription for Magic Mouthwash. Knowing that I cannot do anything for a long time meant I had to sit in pain and wait. I turned on the tv and did my best to distract myself from how horrible I felt. I didn't want to bother my husband because there was nothing he could do except be awake with me and why would I do that to him or my kids. So, I waited patiently and painfully until 7am to call the Oncology Group's nurse line. There was no point to call in the wee hours of the night because none of the pharmacies were opened yet anyway. </div><div><br /></div><div>And I would like to say that it all got handled easily, but that would be a lie... and why would anyone expected anything to go smoothly in my crazy life. It just doesn't work that way. They easiest part was they required me to do an at home Covid test - which was negative. That was easy... even though shoving something up my nose while feeling like my throat was closed and on fire and throbbing in pain was not easy. </div><div><br /></div><div>You would think sending a prescription in would be simple... even on a Saturday. But here is what happened before I actually got the Magic Mouthwash prescription:</div><div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>I had to call the Oncologist nurse line and pharmacy multiple times since the nurse said they sent the prescription in but the pharmacist kept saying they never received it... this took at least 3 attempts of calling both of them and many hours to get it finally handled.</li><li>My husband also went to the pharmacy multiple times because we had been told the prescription was ready. After lunchtime, and during his 2nd trip to the pharmacy, my husband had enough. When it wasn't ready or in the system again, he asked what was in the prescription and got all of the products (minus the lidocaine since that is not sold over the counter) to make it himself.</li><li>After purchasing everything, getting home, and making a modified version - we got the call from the pharmacist that it would be ready shortly. Seriously... my husband had just walked in and made it. </li><li>After hours of going back and forth, and the 3rd attempt of driving to the pharmacy, I finally got the Magic Mouthwash prescription at around 2pm on my birthday. </li></ol></div><div>This meant that I spent the majority of my birthday in pain. I went 12 hours in hurting and feeling like I was unable to swallow... and honestly it felt pretty unnecessary and rough. </div><div><br /></div><div>I don't want that to happen to anyone else. So, I am going to share how to make your own Magic Mouthwash - in case you or someone you know is desperate, like I was, and needs relief. Here is how to make your own Magic Mouthwash (minus the liquid lidocaine that goes in it). </div><div><h2 style="text-align: left;">HOMEMADE MAGIC MOUTHWASH</h2><p>Use Equal Parts Of</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Liquid Tylenol</li><li>Mylanta</li><li>Liquid Benadryl</li></ul><p></p></div><div>(You can use the Liquid Tylenol's small medicine cup just put 2 oz. of each in it.)</div><div><br /></div><div>While this doesn't have the full numbing effect, this really does help some. It uses all the other ingredients besides lidocaine. Plus, without the lidocaine you can swallow it which does help if you have sores down your throat. Don't swallow a large amount, as this is generally a gargle and go prescription. I did swallow it from desperation - it tastes nasty - but when you hurt that bad - you don't care!</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">My Birthday Inspiration - The Smith's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0qh7wHw3Jk" target="_blank">Unhappy Birthday</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9mA2Es748r_eoxxUkINmVA0eQzrhzEdDqx9081hgIpEn92vyQDLNoeZ0dYHXS59RtBZ0g5Do20uNblccCmuYYfvaQ683g6jyvqqaeLmDB-M4sC4mx78xF32gIbeY7kxr89opENN7fN8d0nfXxIsSbHyUIZ20T_DoWVy60ki_C6N9STVpbshVdJJPITEDB/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(13).jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9mA2Es748r_eoxxUkINmVA0eQzrhzEdDqx9081hgIpEn92vyQDLNoeZ0dYHXS59RtBZ0g5Do20uNblccCmuYYfvaQ683g6jyvqqaeLmDB-M4sC4mx78xF32gIbeY7kxr89opENN7fN8d0nfXxIsSbHyUIZ20T_DoWVy60ki_C6N9STVpbshVdJJPITEDB/w189-h189/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(13).jpg" width="189" /></a></div></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-64361829952603164102023-10-03T23:25:00.350-05:002023-11-16T19:29:42.138-06:00here i go again... on my own<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXd4AMcLPI5oL-CsEiAsxMOSVjsZI3xf4pzccWxj8NB-QQAVaIudo5LsiCpvm2vw9ww_AeJwKkGFGvGJvFdMs6ZmwN3Rw8CfXrjBExITnWLC00yAt2FRZZlCUGToCnt6c5rFf1rjsgpz8_loJffEvvkcyCxYKOW1y1SKSTTUeNiFYAHCY1ORtmvO2P1gfh/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(10).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXd4AMcLPI5oL-CsEiAsxMOSVjsZI3xf4pzccWxj8NB-QQAVaIudo5LsiCpvm2vw9ww_AeJwKkGFGvGJvFdMs6ZmwN3Rw8CfXrjBExITnWLC00yAt2FRZZlCUGToCnt6c5rFf1rjsgpz8_loJffEvvkcyCxYKOW1y1SKSTTUeNiFYAHCY1ORtmvO2P1gfh/w269-h269/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(10).jpg" width="269" /></a></div><h2 style="text-align: left;">It's Time for Chemo #1</h2>Today ended up being the longest day I've ever had in treatment... ever. I started at 8am and finished around 4-4:30pm. LONG day. <div><br /></div><div><b>I fully support getting your port ready about 30 minutes before treatment (ignore the 5-15 min suggestion on the Lidocaine box - give yourself 30 minutes to allow for more time and more numbing). </b>So, for me, I apply the Lidocaine over my port and put a small square of Saran Wrap over it right before leaving to go to treatment. It takes me about 30 mins to get to my treatment center, so it gives it time to work. The Lidocaine helps numb the area so the needle will not hurt as much when poked and the Saran Wrap keeps the Lidocaine on your skin and not on your clothes.<p></p><p>When I arrive to the treatment center on chemo days, it starts with a bit of bloodwork in the lab. They have to make sure your bloodwork is good before giving you chemo. I have a port, so they just hook me up with the right type of IV needle, take my blood samples, and send me to wait to be called back to the treatment room. Every treatment room is a bit different, but also a bit the same. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDnCrkpMOglDn1JkMCPo6rhFHO0NqSnWyAsfTcLz3ol8JNwJ2UTSgzltnRg056HawsTkb1IRASQTeTxivKVPb0o7f-pYoopa4MDerPkNWfvmvaLkC_veVlaY39tQi5CavmimP9npfZxbwqp19KjVhkfGG-Dj-w7qQpSTBj4wl4cKnnBzLOzatOwCaBLn5K/s6000/IMG_3427.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6000" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDnCrkpMOglDn1JkMCPo6rhFHO0NqSnWyAsfTcLz3ol8JNwJ2UTSgzltnRg056HawsTkb1IRASQTeTxivKVPb0o7f-pYoopa4MDerPkNWfvmvaLkC_veVlaY39tQi5CavmimP9npfZxbwqp19KjVhkfGG-Dj-w7qQpSTBj4wl4cKnnBzLOzatOwCaBLn5K/s320/IMG_3427.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><p>After finishing labs, I am assigned a treatment area section (there are at least 9 sections). This picture is actually a chair where I get my chemo. My treatment center is pretty big (especially for where I live), so there are multiple sections with rows of around 6 people in each row (3x3), so I will generally be sitting directly across from someone while taking my treatment.</p><p>Usually, it's lines of lazy-boy styled chairs (in boring neutral colors) spaced apart with a seat for someone to visit with you. Each chair has curtains to pull around them for privacy (if you want it). Window seats are great (but bright). </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0X7_id_iWeq5L8G-gImfhmNDgm-LndEojHa6jCluGeDetsS7kbZYJO_ah3F_VIoACukKK8BD7lXuGvByrBaCYu-TuvvdkBq7u3bko6FKVsfj9dMgQNGuMFF7NK9tuR2k49PtWVSkQsdVqId_ng16HM5O3MMiMYJjUc_KM37KKH-gHD0xZ9BRl99-Pstzs/s2160/AirBrush_20231003083925%20(1).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0X7_id_iWeq5L8G-gImfhmNDgm-LndEojHa6jCluGeDetsS7kbZYJO_ah3F_VIoACukKK8BD7lXuGvByrBaCYu-TuvvdkBq7u3bko6FKVsfj9dMgQNGuMFF7NK9tuR2k49PtWVSkQsdVqId_ng16HM5O3MMiMYJjUc_KM37KKH-gHD0xZ9BRl99-Pstzs/w163-h289/AirBrush_20231003083925%20(1).jpg" width="163" /></a></div>When you get back into the treatment area, they weigh you and get your blood pressure. Then they bring up your first treatment bags and syringes of anti-nausea medications. You will have to give them your name and birthdate at this point - and you better be ready to do that again when they bring the other bags of chemo medication. For me, today, it is Keytruda (immunotherapy), Paclitaxel (Taxol chemo), and Carboplatin (chemo).</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, each of these drugs take a certain amount of time to go. And on the first day, they push it slower than any other day you will be here. So, just be aware each medication has a specific amount of time to run through your IV.<br /><div><br /><div>Then there are a few other factors to how long you may be at treatment - mainly if you have any reactions or are nauseated. I did end up getting nauseous which made them slow down the last parts of my treatment which meant I ended up being at the treatment center for closer to 8 hours this day. </div><div><br /></div><div>A funny fact - this process has changed from 10 years ago. It is not a big change, but one I did find kind of funny. They now gave me a dose of Benadryl in that first part of the anti-nausea medication. It is given into the IV line by a syringe in liquid form. And it packs a sleeping punch. I think it knocked me out for at least 1 hour. I was in and out of consciousness... in one of the best sleeps I had in a while. I wasn't expecting it at all. </div><div><br /></div><div>I came into chemotherapy with a fun and creative plan to use my time. I am an artist - <a href="https://happihare.square.site/" target="_blank">check out my stuff here</a> - and I decided that this time around I am going to draw while in chemo and the week after. So, I am making an art chemo journal. I am incorporating papers, comics, and medical reports/prescriptions/information into my drawings each week. I am making little cancer monsters - and using my creativity to help making something beautiful out of this crazy (and often ugly) journey.</div><div> </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOOG0E7CFZ2kqLsp4stVIuHNAfQc3kVV23pQLFN2FXc8OYd03df2KrK0TbRrm_l9UWnSU5HSmApsEcrOSonbONR8wMiTNYyLu-UbzHM2SjUFIfVaPSwEcQDEEfDl2yXsX2zHfm0zxveQges0WZ_qPkjHuCpJTjgUEJgFES-L8mVmssdF2JyaQPItw89cga/s1793/original_66b90def-1dbf-40e6-8bc7-8ecb65bfbc89_PXL_20231004_232944472.MP%20(1).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1793" data-original-width="1268" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOOG0E7CFZ2kqLsp4stVIuHNAfQc3kVV23pQLFN2FXc8OYd03df2KrK0TbRrm_l9UWnSU5HSmApsEcrOSonbONR8wMiTNYyLu-UbzHM2SjUFIfVaPSwEcQDEEfDl2yXsX2zHfm0zxveQges0WZ_qPkjHuCpJTjgUEJgFES-L8mVmssdF2JyaQPItw89cga/s320/original_66b90def-1dbf-40e6-8bc7-8ecb65bfbc89_PXL_20231004_232944472.MP%20(1).jpg" width="226" /></a></div><div>I was working on my drawing (finished drawing from day one is on the right) and didn't realize why I was nodding off while trying to work on it. At some point, the nurse said "your about to have a Benadryl high drawing" before I fell asleep. </div><div><br /></div><div>I honestly didn't even know it was Benadryl until after I woke up and asked the nurse what happened. I then looked around and saw that almost everyone near me were also napping and sleeping from all the Benadryl they were given. I am not sure how much we need the Benadryl or how much it helps the nurses out - but it does keep us all pretty quiet for a few hours in treatment.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am not sure if every treatment center gives out Benadryl like this, but 10 years ago it wasn't like this. I never fell asleep like that... instead I remember being awake to spend time hanging out with a friend. Now, I am passed out. On the positive, it is solid sleep, and I still had a lot of time to work on my drawing... kind of... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvYYWi3XL-0qYbCKWO4Or0tbFYt8YAipQ-wZBUxJawiL_dOxlNdvKK-8YqIeakaLTaIFicyjtMyUivOEinLrbw0Bg7Qlv5rIB5HAj2MCWR5a-VlhMB-kPZmHMl9DTByssmUIj9gPY-67qdc2k-Q4uqFXJe2cYl7jdZMd4g9ti0QGsuxy9vXZtAW4sMwSlb/s4032/PXL_20231003_191007356.MP%20(1).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="2268" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvYYWi3XL-0qYbCKWO4Or0tbFYt8YAipQ-wZBUxJawiL_dOxlNdvKK-8YqIeakaLTaIFicyjtMyUivOEinLrbw0Bg7Qlv5rIB5HAj2MCWR5a-VlhMB-kPZmHMl9DTByssmUIj9gPY-67qdc2k-Q4uqFXJe2cYl7jdZMd4g9ti0QGsuxy9vXZtAW4sMwSlb/s320/PXL_20231003_191007356.MP%20(1).jpg" width="180" /></a></div><div>I was leading in to another tip for those who may need it - ice therapy for Taxol-based chemotherapy. When I took Taxol 10 years ago, it really messed with my nervous system. Not only during treatment, but permanently. I have been on Lyrica for years to manage the neuropathy damage and pain. So, knowing I am going to be on Taxol again is somewhat worrisome. To try and help prevent more nerve issues, I am doing ice therapy. Yep - that's me on the left in the middle of ice therapy.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you're curious - it means that when I am taking the Taxol chemo - I sit with my hands and feet emerged in buckets with bags of ice. They put a layer of bagged ice both below and above my feet and hands for between 1 hour and 1.5 hours. I have on a pair of socks and my hands go into a very thin layer of paper (like the gown you wear at a gyno office). So, there is not a thick layer between you and the ice.</div><div><br /></div><div>As you can imagine, it is not exactly fun. It is slightly painful at first, but then it gets kind of numb. And yes, it is cold. I usually get a few warm blankets beforehand, but sometimes I fall asleep (from the Benadryl) and wake up very cold. I have learned to ask for additional warm blankets after to try and warm me up. The nurses always forget to bring them before I wake up - no matter how many times I have asked. Ideally, it would be nice to have them before I was fully conscious again!</div><div><br /></div><div>So, this adds a complicated layer to my dreams of drawing in treatment. Now, I generally don't get to draw until after my hands warm up a bit. My plan for drawing in chemo is harder than I expected, but I am still going to find a way to make it work... despite the sleeping and ice numbing. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhtUSdwjLBlJjptUAZ6d4p-eWxoQvyy9-8BOdpUJBtlLQ3PWG7ij_tGa2lt4lHptVtMZ27Zm3GQmRqqfV_YpZq8kll0xrP9SWocPwjjK3L7tgOfpoHioEVYRtCKFm0ghCFZvPLexlHciMmk6mZIyOpAQf8IXi8RuJ78GLABqPP5ndoT0W9xEMOWqIhWc_I/s4032/PXL_20231003_194547927.MP.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="2268" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhtUSdwjLBlJjptUAZ6d4p-eWxoQvyy9-8BOdpUJBtlLQ3PWG7ij_tGa2lt4lHptVtMZ27Zm3GQmRqqfV_YpZq8kll0xrP9SWocPwjjK3L7tgOfpoHioEVYRtCKFm0ghCFZvPLexlHciMmk6mZIyOpAQf8IXi8RuJ78GLABqPP5ndoT0W9xEMOWqIhWc_I/w132-h235/PXL_20231003_194547927.MP.jpg" width="132" /></a></div><div>Not every treatment is going to be 8 hours long, but for me they will last between 4 - 6 hours depending on if it is my long or short day.</div><div><br /></div><div>My schedule for the next 3 months is:</div><div><br /></div><div>Every week I will have</div><div>Paclitaxel (Taxol chemo) and Carboplatin (chemo) and every 3rd treatment they will add Keytruda (immunotherapy)</div><div><br /></div><div>Then for the following 3 months every week I will have</div><div>Paclitaxel (Taxol chemo) and Doxorubicin (Adriamycin "Red Devil" chemo) and every 3rd treatment they will add Keytruda (immunotherapy)</div><div><br /></div><div>Then we will reassess - see if any of these chemos are working.</div><div><br /></div><div>I will then head into some type of surgery - we don't know which one since I don't have a primary tumor/starting point. But, I will have at least a large section of lymph nodes removed.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then I will have Radiation for at least 6-7 weeks while simultaneously go back on Keytruda for at least another 6 months (& possibly more chemo if those chemos didn't work).</div><div><br /></div><div>So, I am in for a very long and challenging year!</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;">Crazy inspiration - time to dance on my car - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyF8RHM1OCg" target="_blank">Whitesnake "Here I Go Again"</a></div></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-38863930969105039512023-10-01T20:42:00.204-05:002023-10-14T22:22:03.159-05:00giving your 16 year old scissors<p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">New Traditions</h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikyQl1lSaDF-JwA5nqPKzPwpX2YTNmjjLNZhO7SilxvKmDim9d9K5hWVr0zcF7Z6Lxtt9YuMGX_mP4ZDEo8wOJxIUtr_7aI5HT-JqjjR4OaSqLXOBR-qjLuHq_2rjvKjk6WQNiHXQS2YeeRbwCwdGSSiQswDURJ317JuMnevOSVF6N6rAs2LAOHjddmO0u/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(9).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikyQl1lSaDF-JwA5nqPKzPwpX2YTNmjjLNZhO7SilxvKmDim9d9K5hWVr0zcF7Z6Lxtt9YuMGX_mP4ZDEo8wOJxIUtr_7aI5HT-JqjjR4OaSqLXOBR-qjLuHq_2rjvKjk6WQNiHXQS2YeeRbwCwdGSSiQswDURJ317JuMnevOSVF6N6rAs2LAOHjddmO0u/w227-h227/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(9).jpg" width="227" /></a></div><p>Losing my hair - it's going to happen. When I did this in 2013, I waited to cut my hair once I was further in treatment. I didn't want to do that again. I didn't want to do it while I felt sore and bad. This time, I wanted to get rid of my hair before treatment. </p><p>Since I will have now done this more than once, it can be considered a tradition: <b>cancer haircuts by my kids</b>. Last time I did this, the kids were 6 and 13. So, this time around my son (23) opted not to cut, but watched some. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfSgDfVoM4TRafjzG79GRRtQdqKlnvCot9bExtczOJTU_1kTYGEN5B4tgZSUejPCsb0kfAknO1sZe_bweS1Pl4L3k2NqXdFHvYC1lNjttJcSJ_ixHD_r3pQLRM7x0KJCMjjmIBSxBtNe2AiDPJmBGhJ8qxYjKTbUDkovVX8qDPvgcYrS1cOA2txsRrMzkl/s1536/AirBrush_20231001170512.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="1196" height="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfSgDfVoM4TRafjzG79GRRtQdqKlnvCot9bExtczOJTU_1kTYGEN5B4tgZSUejPCsb0kfAknO1sZe_bweS1Pl4L3k2NqXdFHvYC1lNjttJcSJ_ixHD_r3pQLRM7x0KJCMjjmIBSxBtNe2AiDPJmBGhJ8qxYjKTbUDkovVX8qDPvgcYrS1cOA2txsRrMzkl/w213-h273/AirBrush_20231001170512.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>However, my 16 year old daughter leapt at the opportunity to cut my hair. Even though 10 years have gone by, she had to adhere to a few basic rules.<div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Basic Rules:</h4><div>1. Do not cut my ears.</div><div>2. Do not cut your own hair.</div><div>3. Do not cut anyone else's hair.</div><div><br /></div><div>These rules still hold up and are the general agreement we make before I put scissors in my kid's hands to chop on my hair! </div><div><br /></div><div>And the tradition isn't the same without going outside (weather permitting) and listening to our favorite inspiring rock music. We definitely were rocking out! Remember, hair lose can be fun and positive - this is especially a great way to include your kids (depending on their age)! </div><div><br /></div>She was excited to cut my hair and took it very seriously. Once we had the basics: scissors, razor, rolling seat, portable music, and a bowl... we were ready to go. Trust me, I had the best seat in the house watching her enjoying every minute of giving me a...</div><div><h2 style="text-align: left;">Bowl Cut</h2><div>Yes, she did this to me. And yes, I actually thought it was hysterical. I think this haircut was what she was most excited to do! <br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dy1OVY8YGIggBHYKLRgGBf41eN84Y7c2Uu4wbHCxyGdwNQSDktnzy8bzEjojFpC2JMO9WucePuvdawOzGojsg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT8YIrIlhAtwuBf7w4km3vkOyYGTUlu_eClait_6MgboqUMtGMxARWiLlGd0PSIbVPtye4jP-CSLqAdT-CLqpzE4MpbEA-24Px9DtVMGqzV3_QOQ7Or3tHInewVs9VHqsoWPokeylsjUJRcTKHxQUOJQHsvM9Zt4Q8RpIunB7XRMqaUIx22CNgCsGpVYRw/s2160/AirBrush_20231002221658.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT8YIrIlhAtwuBf7w4km3vkOyYGTUlu_eClait_6MgboqUMtGMxARWiLlGd0PSIbVPtye4jP-CSLqAdT-CLqpzE4MpbEA-24Px9DtVMGqzV3_QOQ7Or3tHInewVs9VHqsoWPokeylsjUJRcTKHxQUOJQHsvM9Zt4Q8RpIunB7XRMqaUIx22CNgCsGpVYRw/w133-h236/AirBrush_20231002221658.jpg" width="133" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh81ZWft3LVZodboOdJ844NEnbWeNWV2nU3EFzMntL_MJfaVclGnttjavtEwsLFRhUoYasQ9wbc1qe38SkErRhdUKxCXXK7t7ZO1H066CdAHjxU4lcp0DZl8Ryw46Kkbx9-82LQdFY7YyHxqKoFXeAUAAT7j5XlStLN6R2I7uIQafBqYKYBJJU0sr9uZDtm/s1904/AirBrush_20231002222658.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1904" data-original-width="962" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh81ZWft3LVZodboOdJ844NEnbWeNWV2nU3EFzMntL_MJfaVclGnttjavtEwsLFRhUoYasQ9wbc1qe38SkErRhdUKxCXXK7t7ZO1H066CdAHjxU4lcp0DZl8Ryw46Kkbx9-82LQdFY7YyHxqKoFXeAUAAT7j5XlStLN6R2I7uIQafBqYKYBJJU0sr9uZDtm/w117-h232/AirBrush_20231002222658.jpg" width="117" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV2MtPYQmt2TEGlVHJl8CFm41IXThZTynClbWyLlOStyzYx5DZUk8LwvylHOyOhGvF1d8sNV2sFNeHDwBZPLPd_giPXYGBEQfDh7C-O4ILUGyYiRxV1X3Sd1Wx5hA4qcj-cvW_dkirVJ9eF24ChC6S7oFkV8z2wQyQ8QefZ9yDqQHXH3xujdAb4B4BIZdx/s1920/AirBrush_20231002223000.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1080" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV2MtPYQmt2TEGlVHJl8CFm41IXThZTynClbWyLlOStyzYx5DZUk8LwvylHOyOhGvF1d8sNV2sFNeHDwBZPLPd_giPXYGBEQfDh7C-O4ILUGyYiRxV1X3Sd1Wx5hA4qcj-cvW_dkirVJ9eF24ChC6S7oFkV8z2wQyQ8QefZ9yDqQHXH3xujdAb4B4BIZdx/w131-h233/AirBrush_20231002223000.jpg" width="131" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I loved doing this 10 years ago - and still loved it. She really did a great job. We spent hours outside - laughing, cutting my hair, and just enjoying the moment. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is a great way to let your kids feel like they are part of something positive in all the negative things that are coming with breast cancer treatment. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Also, I want my daughter to know she is beautiful with or without hair. Hair has nothing to do with my personality and all the things that make me me. Plus, hair will grow... and honestly, the short looks are working for me a bit. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBxTKu-s9prVpyQ1mQKQ3mq6ysHM4mPtiCSOCxLMBKphJ_gA28hEbMR9Pa_3piRMH24nAszKCvzGzyfQpmyufA3_YNvYeud2ZjDYlzNVBgHPtuA-x9oKeV9gbnZP9IVH8rE-KQ6iUnh8_U0mGGXOnU6yx589kgmn-mgTCyBStKB6BuSEV9V4EKts8Lakf9/s1843/PXL_20231002_225744543.TS_exported_54822_1696303743267.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1843" data-original-width="1034" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBxTKu-s9prVpyQ1mQKQ3mq6ysHM4mPtiCSOCxLMBKphJ_gA28hEbMR9Pa_3piRMH24nAszKCvzGzyfQpmyufA3_YNvYeud2ZjDYlzNVBgHPtuA-x9oKeV9gbnZP9IVH8rE-KQ6iUnh8_U0mGGXOnU6yx589kgmn-mgTCyBStKB6BuSEV9V4EKts8Lakf9/w117-h208/PXL_20231002_225744543.TS_exported_54822_1696303743267.jpg" width="117" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQWMGWlDUIgZr2vuVRveAEKjeJXOKFFuJTY9-1ulNBgnXAbah0ZheZgM5gU_cV0u60L-ZsSVnN8buoZXdFBVbEIBwgIokmhiAG30JU5BhuA1pIIwEYZpZE0t573_CaVcVswdW7APiEOOpVR325rlv9-TBmReOvVRrfzryfDFh4fg7iEB5guzcr3VEbU9OX/s2160/AirBrush_20231002222405.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQWMGWlDUIgZr2vuVRveAEKjeJXOKFFuJTY9-1ulNBgnXAbah0ZheZgM5gU_cV0u60L-ZsSVnN8buoZXdFBVbEIBwgIokmhiAG30JU5BhuA1pIIwEYZpZE0t573_CaVcVswdW7APiEOOpVR325rlv9-TBmReOvVRrfzryfDFh4fg7iEB5guzcr3VEbU9OX/w120-h214/AirBrush_20231002222405.jpg" width="120" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEuCsIWjH8hEv-MXecL-KC9AAmk-OGi7NGyrK2xFAkEzRSnqOh06EQgoqq28-tRXM2t0y9wRXxFdFiuVWIt9EEoFfNd9UR0z-ogj5lA8Ba242Rzp8HKVn9SHKVOykmHGjL1gou2Xo_zecbJZN72DuP23ykLjRNx95BGLKpJAIhJp3ATEChHpOs4R9d1Q0x/s1920/AirBrush_20231002222043.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1080" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEuCsIWjH8hEv-MXecL-KC9AAmk-OGi7NGyrK2xFAkEzRSnqOh06EQgoqq28-tRXM2t0y9wRXxFdFiuVWIt9EEoFfNd9UR0z-ogj5lA8Ba242Rzp8HKVn9SHKVOykmHGjL1gou2Xo_zecbJZN72DuP23ykLjRNx95BGLKpJAIhJp3ATEChHpOs4R9d1Q0x/w121-h215/AirBrush_20231002222043.jpg" width="121" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVWVu3cbEyWBC_l1jNxWdMJykxEfGuYAqbmgpp7XY9TlI4a-pO9GvQy4OEGkvnPuPJnz5-yiHeKjmEaVREyaN_Yp-oyv6gNkw7dSn6tPmVx5KmyDknW0D8t3oEU2kYAKq-KMEcr-4QuTlji7uR5ZIynGRaAdwt-g4OFDLdpHCgZy9QFFiibBBdnmsqyCPS/s2160/AirBrush_20231002222124.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1215" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVWVu3cbEyWBC_l1jNxWdMJykxEfGuYAqbmgpp7XY9TlI4a-pO9GvQy4OEGkvnPuPJnz5-yiHeKjmEaVREyaN_Yp-oyv6gNkw7dSn6tPmVx5KmyDknW0D8t3oEU2kYAKq-KMEcr-4QuTlji7uR5ZIynGRaAdwt-g4OFDLdpHCgZy9QFFiibBBdnmsqyCPS/w122-h217/AirBrush_20231002222124.jpg" width="122" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Every time I see myself, I think of her. I think of her carefully cutting my hair. And smiling. And laughing. And knowing she was styling me to be a beautiful cancer fighter!</div><div><h2 style="text-align: left;">Hair Loss Can be Fun</h2><p>For those wanting to watch another speedy experience of our haircut - here you go:</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Povimc5cHW4" width="320" youtube-src-id="Povimc5cHW4"></iframe></div><br /><p>For those who want to get a kick and compare my haircut experience, here is the original <a href="http://www.tatawarrior.com/2013/06/family-fun-shaving-moms-head.html" target="_blank">2013 haircut by my amazing kids</a>!</p></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-40481390052823549122023-09-29T21:39:00.001-05:002023-10-14T20:57:13.610-05:00second port = success + remembering it<p> <span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">It was a really tough week last week!</span></p><p><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxUwKReUirYjDYgasoqfgQ3N5RX10bMMtpcpYOK_9rlFb2O1qvQIt3dY7PFYRtlZqm3WwoZ914guHUvTUNR0M84vqcea46UisasEfPgS3993SfAuekHkHCOZpthY4m-yXzADHfOpBZuKnec0qJWuTZW62BA8IMIVF2PcWOaDzbv75naX9Coj61u6-4w5Pn/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(8).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxUwKReUirYjDYgasoqfgQ3N5RX10bMMtpcpYOK_9rlFb2O1qvQIt3dY7PFYRtlZqm3WwoZ914guHUvTUNR0M84vqcea46UisasEfPgS3993SfAuekHkHCOZpthY4m-yXzADHfOpBZuKnec0qJWuTZW62BA8IMIVF2PcWOaDzbv75naX9Coj61u6-4w5Pn/w215-h215/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(8).jpg" width="215" /></a></span></div><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Last Tuesday, the breast surgeon FAILED at getting a port placed in during my surgery. He attempted three times (leaving many wounds on the left side of my neck/chest). This rarely happens... and he told my mom waiting for me (& later me) if he pushed any harder he would have killed me. This really upset her - and didn't make me feel better that I would have to do it all again in a few days with a different doctor. So, my mom is also out - she is like I cannot take you this time. And my husband is in - and along for ride this surgery.</span><br /><br /><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">This time the port will not be placed by a Breast Surgeon, but by an Intervention Radiologist (port specialist). All of my veins were closing up the closer it got to my heart (maybe from the radiation in 2013) and making the port dangerous to insert. It took a bit of work, but they finally got one in. </span><p></p><p><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">While I am glad the port is in, I remember more than I wish I did from the procedure. I also think it would have easier to handle the port procedure if the other surgery was not just days before. </span><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Unfortunately, I had to be awake and in a twilight state for the surgery. It was not exactly fun! </span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">So, here's my memory of being awake and getting the port placement:</span></h3><p><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">I meet the doctor. Nice dude, who basically gets my consent. I am like please don't kill me for a port... joking though not joking based on my last experience. I did say multiple times that I did not want to remember this so please drug me enough. Then I still joke to my husband as they wheel me out, "I'll try not to die." - This time it is slightly less appropriate (and maybe a little to fresh).</span><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvxcMRozKTF3pL2bdrYQLcCqXTKaGGlXUDdBtunAR2y2sVKckxjtNe9Ky70lXASlPA74Y4xo-EXw_j_-qClJWW9_mT61lIcYi6kwYiUnK5c4w6fY5rI8XExhjro5Kh09lC1iOuWHK-kzaXF25V456Ao6hOFem71SGpwhbnLXmDE9A0NHR5JvXxB06Zrq67/s1140/interventional-radiology-banner-3.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="1140" height="154" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvxcMRozKTF3pL2bdrYQLcCqXTKaGGlXUDdBtunAR2y2sVKckxjtNe9Ky70lXASlPA74Y4xo-EXw_j_-qClJWW9_mT61lIcYi6kwYiUnK5c4w6fY5rI8XExhjro5Kh09lC1iOuWHK-kzaXF25V456Ao6hOFem71SGpwhbnLXmDE9A0NHR5JvXxB06Zrq67/w439-h154/interventional-radiology-banner-3.jpg" width="439" /></a></div><p>I get in the room and switch over to the surgical table where they hook me up to a bunch of monitoring devices. I joke around with all the nurses - especially the anesthesiologist nurse. He also had the prettiest blue eyes. I complimented him on them to which he replied, "I haven't even drugged you yet." Seriously, he was very nice.</p><p>Another nurse took a ultrasound wand, told me to turn my head to the left, and pressed on my right neck and chest. He made a little gruff noise out loud and then asked me to turn my head right and used the wand on my left a few times. He seemed annoyed at my veins which confirms why the 1st port probably failed. </p><p>The doctor arrived, and I hear the nurse tell him my right is not a good option, but the left has some issues. The doctor takes the ultrasound wand and repeats what the nurse did. They have a little confab about me and then...</p><p>Well, things kind of shift. Up until this point, I felt everything. The ultrasound wand was pressed firmly on my neck - and over the bruising from my failed port hurt. However, the sweet blue eyed anesthesiologist must have added the good stuff in.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnUjHKf1toeSRBsjV5bWDqx4uPXP-48cSvvWPsDglQu5VIwuNzqzvM9vG5gmCsp-k0YKQqC9aBjr_Ntol0g7uPmXzV7V6y8RqNwycCUNMeyQDnkamjeKdNyFQhuoZ3pMmCowcZOmHLGTO7Zi58e0yqBgRFsF4Zwk5ATpE1ofrlq8z8hyad5-i5M7skFQQk/s694/port%202.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="678" data-original-width="694" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnUjHKf1toeSRBsjV5bWDqx4uPXP-48cSvvWPsDglQu5VIwuNzqzvM9vG5gmCsp-k0YKQqC9aBjr_Ntol0g7uPmXzV7V6y8RqNwycCUNMeyQDnkamjeKdNyFQhuoZ3pMmCowcZOmHLGTO7Zi58e0yqBgRFsF4Zwk5ATpE1ofrlq8z8hyad5-i5M7skFQQk/w203-h199/port%202.jpg" width="203" /></a></div>I remember having my neck turned to the right. I saw a giant screen with an x-rayed body on a television. It went in and out of focus as the nurses walked by. I also saw there was a small tube that I saw go up and then down into the heart... it was like an upside down umbrella handle shape. <p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxcPkwrvt5TdjpCjBHYJBiJAHORwva1NxH6phOqzJRBM32UFTrLHJwILwsCjn4GTh8f6B8iPHbSZD2AqCeZc7mmTT-3oQcNj_N6z13xKocbWrDSZ0QibsEeAdbjM-OHkUa2k8cUAlotK2GqP2sbjHQvZcPrgrYSO34Elq2dZO0HEvF6tBqD2HSU3ZK-x1f/s600/port.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" height="130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxcPkwrvt5TdjpCjBHYJBiJAHORwva1NxH6phOqzJRBM32UFTrLHJwILwsCjn4GTh8f6B8iPHbSZD2AqCeZc7mmTT-3oQcNj_N6z13xKocbWrDSZ0QibsEeAdbjM-OHkUa2k8cUAlotK2GqP2sbjHQvZcPrgrYSO34Elq2dZO0HEvF6tBqD2HSU3ZK-x1f/w196-h130/port.jpg" width="196" /></a></div>I remember talking to the doctor about how it was weird how I could see myself on the screen - because I somehow realized that was my body up on the screen. Plus, I heard skin and bodily fluid squishing noise... and realized he was sewing or doing something on my left side. I also kept thinking how am I able to talk and he work on my at the same time. <p></p><p>There was a feeling of worry and dread at some point when I think I realized that was me on the screen. It was like I don't think I need to see that. I don't think I want to realize this port is going to take the drugs directly to my heart. And there was the underlying fear that I might watch myself die (especially since the failed port surgeon had said what he said about possibly killing me). I definitely don't want to watch some giant tv x-ray of my body as I bleed out. I also then remember getting the chills.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_BaSDY29L2_DaZtHqa-FGbppjml-BoWQTm0ZJHq_rznSHBbftwcZrgYaIwizGTY_ggl1TwNQ1-QaNfH9wKTX7ipQT3uFwIjuK72F92lX__j1-S1a8pIFHk03-8D0uwhNDv8XtLqVcn0SCn7oYkttTvyhmI6tkgvmpCknuDQS2SGWsl50xQOEi5Pim4VdB/s3840/PXL_20230930_015222287.MP.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3840" data-original-width="2160" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_BaSDY29L2_DaZtHqa-FGbppjml-BoWQTm0ZJHq_rznSHBbftwcZrgYaIwizGTY_ggl1TwNQ1-QaNfH9wKTX7ipQT3uFwIjuK72F92lX__j1-S1a8pIFHk03-8D0uwhNDv8XtLqVcn0SCn7oYkttTvyhmI6tkgvmpCknuDQS2SGWsl50xQOEi5Pim4VdB/w148-h263/PXL_20230930_015222287.MP.jpg" width="148" /></a></div>Yet, it was fast because the next thing I know I am being wheeled out and then eventually my husband. I was glad to be done and so ready to go home. <div><br /></div><div>Doing this in twig light state would have been easier (and probably better) if I hadn't had the 1st failed attempt.<br /><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGKb0CPWvW95j-hEGgm4aYwKaD0m66RD9pYfeGXImTseK6o6eMOHW0xdS4FAx24URi73CtkZOMSk6GphKFW-mN0hcxVDjMMm-WscxsSanNS_Nggmuu36IqkiOgufKP8oQJzDc0DQMRG_YBlAHRchD2jPbXjPGLijclh752cCGYRYaXivfKJp80nld2sZlg/s2160/AirBrush_20230929174754.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1620" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGKb0CPWvW95j-hEGgm4aYwKaD0m66RD9pYfeGXImTseK6o6eMOHW0xdS4FAx24URi73CtkZOMSk6GphKFW-mN0hcxVDjMMm-WscxsSanNS_Nggmuu36IqkiOgufKP8oQJzDc0DQMRG_YBlAHRchD2jPbXjPGLijclh752cCGYRYaXivfKJp80nld2sZlg/w157-h209/AirBrush_20230929174754.jpg" width="157" /></a></div>I do not remember pain. That is great. I do remember a lot of what happened and the noises. The two port surgeries were hard on me - more than I expected. The doctor did a good job - I was a challenging patient and he successfully got a port in. <p></p><p><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQZ0rltANXzQvO_nOclOu8M8mkdWFwrPic5lOfIbabI1kOdd6_M0gNBK6GUzu5S1fRdnkCX2S2oo6saq4FOOfKHkVfilTkvbfPM3vvkCuD19UE_TUghDVXqz8kNQAC3niVY7DGcLVclOvBuZ-kpyeepjqceWzeIGY3n-0sn_5xDoZMFkAFFuVqvNDnXM0w/s1024/Port-Placement-1-966x1024.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="966" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQZ0rltANXzQvO_nOclOu8M8mkdWFwrPic5lOfIbabI1kOdd6_M0gNBK6GUzu5S1fRdnkCX2S2oo6saq4FOOfKHkVfilTkvbfPM3vvkCuD19UE_TUghDVXqz8kNQAC3niVY7DGcLVclOvBuZ-kpyeepjqceWzeIGY3n-0sn_5xDoZMFkAFFuVqvNDnXM0w/w206-h218/Port-Placement-1-966x1024.jpg" width="206" /></a></span></div><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Yet, my neck and chest are bruised, cut, and beat up. And mainly from the 1st attempt. It has hurt way more than last time, and I have a ton of weird angled cuts everywhere. Plus, the location of the port sucks. It is way lower than last time and sticks out pretty far. </span><p></p><p><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">For those that do not know, the port is under the skin. It is attached to the vein and the skin is closed up around the 2-4" incision. They usually sew up the port internally and glue up the skin and incisions on the exterior.</span></p><p><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Of course, I ended up being allergic to on of the tapes used... because why not? My life!!!</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDmwuPFo6JyaNP8HrOiRqkC-4dRZo6LNjq1YDcj8Gl7L5zdaLLpePFXp6RxlaeO_JUe-2MuTWTKthEi2Y_uFN_Zi_7R87rEndb8d3DOQiCumPf39Z8fql1VsfkNyw59g0cnISjqqUTiviKVP2nr2BD_NSxykzGQ5K6pGQtp6Nxt6n4ZVSyIDGhameEXGrH/s1277/PXL_20231002_000643124.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1037" data-original-width="1277" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDmwuPFo6JyaNP8HrOiRqkC-4dRZo6LNjq1YDcj8Gl7L5zdaLLpePFXp6RxlaeO_JUe-2MuTWTKthEi2Y_uFN_Zi_7R87rEndb8d3DOQiCumPf39Z8fql1VsfkNyw59g0cnISjqqUTiviKVP2nr2BD_NSxykzGQ5K6pGQtp6Nxt6n4ZVSyIDGhameEXGrH/w208-h169/PXL_20231002_000643124.jpg" width="208" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBrcGqO7Frdju1ww-OouW7DLR6kiY1-sNXbUEGlI6UB8mP75bREazhF92PiPTsfnMYWqt1xTMG4J93dspFfsq_EtUvvZHBt3L3ORxIzrSMKw9S3TA4kxxx0b2tgDGfrROaRhbnG1wzZVXGRMN0QfYQ7wufCvQHu51laYxhAWsc5PMMZsihmBEr18uTwN9c/s716/PXL_20231002_000755237~2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="716" data-original-width="600" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBrcGqO7Frdju1ww-OouW7DLR6kiY1-sNXbUEGlI6UB8mP75bREazhF92PiPTsfnMYWqt1xTMG4J93dspFfsq_EtUvvZHBt3L3ORxIzrSMKw9S3TA4kxxx0b2tgDGfrROaRhbnG1wzZVXGRMN0QfYQ7wufCvQHu51laYxhAWsc5PMMZsihmBEr18uTwN9c/w139-h166/PXL_20231002_000755237~2.jpg" width="139" /></a></div>I had multiple blisters and rashes from one of the tapes used around my incision. While that was annoying, it was nothing compared to the bruising that is on my chest... and down my breast. I also still have left basil atelectasis (that I know had to come from the failed port surgery - since it was not on my chest x-rays and CT prior to the 1st surgery).<span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLvY15-H0ww8Awyp7u2Cp5HJV2jkzF-bx8V0ZoEpIFB4p22X6WIzYCZzZGwgQcgGszWMy21Wz5inggwFdRDYc5JyDCFsV0lPFIdCQKYV9qSpT_t8QOm1KuKaq40LGS-CzBPswuBOl_Q9ORMbswGKn1jHIVg168FIiZDV3TYwU8apsklTKJjSGSysQVHNyS/s1555/AirBrush_20231001183534.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1555" data-original-width="1067" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLvY15-H0ww8Awyp7u2Cp5HJV2jkzF-bx8V0ZoEpIFB4p22X6WIzYCZzZGwgQcgGszWMy21Wz5inggwFdRDYc5JyDCFsV0lPFIdCQKYV9qSpT_t8QOm1KuKaq40LGS-CzBPswuBOl_Q9ORMbswGKn1jHIVg168FIiZDV3TYwU8apsklTKJjSGSysQVHNyS/w142-h207/AirBrush_20231001183534.jpg" width="142" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8wiFaKxo4bSVqyDn1yHne1GaZGK9zqpi8QH3qX67E8m5EPpdwsW4hgOyIvBLpG83eTJnkS3HnNzlBH8FXlBYCJSs1UAf7thI4ImEkYFk-A99EqMHWL2x0XSyfIZsgoKmLl8IkYjGSizMHHtA1_RvFFnJ-7rTpUOwBZZFYku4Cmu0XajIPhlzpm-lrxmbU/s2160/AirBrush_20231001183332.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1934" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8wiFaKxo4bSVqyDn1yHne1GaZGK9zqpi8QH3qX67E8m5EPpdwsW4hgOyIvBLpG83eTJnkS3HnNzlBH8FXlBYCJSs1UAf7thI4ImEkYFk-A99EqMHWL2x0XSyfIZsgoKmLl8IkYjGSizMHHtA1_RvFFnJ-7rTpUOwBZZFYku4Cmu0XajIPhlzpm-lrxmbU/w121-h135/AirBrush_20231001183332.jpg" width="121" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrwKnHo3jrEJt5zLjluGSqQ_nvu_9vdeep6wmebzZpIdS-1QSRf9Q5Bq7XuwX7L7OTlbaA4jEn-PmSJYbglu-_pa2hZ4_pYaFjMqsU0lCqwJt4hGcdfLVysn9ENnqbTdHHz61gTw-OH396m1IsHVI-gdOy7xF2GcAjTa9GPCxN6zbSX7DMFGG-pzztCnuF/s4032/PXL_20231007_202138272.MP.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="2268" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrwKnHo3jrEJt5zLjluGSqQ_nvu_9vdeep6wmebzZpIdS-1QSRf9Q5Bq7XuwX7L7OTlbaA4jEn-PmSJYbglu-_pa2hZ4_pYaFjMqsU0lCqwJt4hGcdfLVysn9ENnqbTdHHz61gTw-OH396m1IsHVI-gdOy7xF2GcAjTa9GPCxN6zbSX7DMFGG-pzztCnuF/w138-h245/PXL_20231007_202138272.MP.jpg" width="138" /></a></div></span><p></p><p><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">I am weeks out and the healing has been way slower! I am grateful to have it, but it has been Brutal to get it!! </span></p><h3 style="text-align: right;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">My inspiration for things going all wrong = </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9rCUQjmkxU" style="white-space-collapse: preserve;" target="_blank">I Will Survive</a><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"> by CAKE!</span></h3></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-55047422695112707712023-09-27T23:24:00.167-05:002023-10-12T20:38:43.766-05:00carpe diem<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0cm1rBTJPf4_B_AA9TTZdSj3iLz756-eYn_1s9ktakwnE4kso-eRGMHN8uJuoT3xED7jJMDWbwJPbaHFtjsNr6mq5qkLwNWxx4liKdYLdjDbW9LxqOZeDDrdTrH4Sqn1F3nJUmodHMGYayQHIi6vNzLRQuzHZDk_gy0iP6k5WcseYbn_Ip6obZomrXfLS/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(6).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0cm1rBTJPf4_B_AA9TTZdSj3iLz756-eYn_1s9ktakwnE4kso-eRGMHN8uJuoT3xED7jJMDWbwJPbaHFtjsNr6mq5qkLwNWxx4liKdYLdjDbW9LxqOZeDDrdTrH4Sqn1F3nJUmodHMGYayQHIi6vNzLRQuzHZDk_gy0iP6k5WcseYbn_Ip6obZomrXfLS/w232-h232/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(6).jpg" width="232" /></a></div><h2 style="text-align: left;">New Day, New Oncologist</h2><div style="text-align: left;">Despite waking up sore (and I am super sore from the 3 failed attempts to put a port in my neck yesterday), I am actually hopeful about my next doctor's appointment. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEVQxM1RCBP7V8lstdOJFd6Rq4tvsTbqF6QalFZXDkZWp2FQr00Fw_xofUDxMLzgb8ebhXQQwZAHEfO0PJzoyWGL4lQEShkHYE7E2j2fJpxu-oWLUiLORLMaPYs4P6ZF0ZSWtgep7GU0wQIZANI8Vw2q1K51qnmUdvgHyYnF0z1orulzXGwvoqJlUTx8iJ/s3840/PXL_20230927_210826671.MP.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3840" data-original-width="2880" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEVQxM1RCBP7V8lstdOJFd6Rq4tvsTbqF6QalFZXDkZWp2FQr00Fw_xofUDxMLzgb8ebhXQQwZAHEfO0PJzoyWGL4lQEShkHYE7E2j2fJpxu-oWLUiLORLMaPYs4P6ZF0ZSWtgep7GU0wQIZANI8Vw2q1K51qnmUdvgHyYnF0z1orulzXGwvoqJlUTx8iJ/s320/PXL_20230927_210826671.MP.jpg" width="240" /></a>It's time to meet what will hopefully be my new Onc?!?! My husband and I ended up going to this appointment together. Normally, I go to these alone. However, after the port debacle yesterday and the insanity of my medical journey just to get me here, I was feeling the need for some extra support. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It turns out, the new Onc was super nice. He didn't try to placate me and was very honest about my cancer and the obstacles I have had to get here (from the way I had to fight for a biopsy and be heard to the fact I never got any real call from my Onc since my Fish (Her2) results came in). </div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMU3Igk3-NIqqaBcJdx8SQH6t8JnFJEgoqNlMtO_XFVe_Vub8VSnI9yG1WhEkKrWNWJ0Morkh35d5eJvkBmE3YFifsmBdAW5fvRsz1YKlutDA0p69JXFQZX2eLtpitjpRa71lf9EsFwy_aATn_sgdpTy6gQ6whfxIhjy9kUmShFYIQz-Lgj6KTSTaLXhYV/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(7).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMU3Igk3-NIqqaBcJdx8SQH6t8JnFJEgoqNlMtO_XFVe_Vub8VSnI9yG1WhEkKrWNWJ0Morkh35d5eJvkBmE3YFifsmBdAW5fvRsz1YKlutDA0p69JXFQZX2eLtpitjpRa71lf9EsFwy_aATn_sgdpTy6gQ6whfxIhjy9kUmShFYIQz-Lgj6KTSTaLXhYV/w229-h229/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(7).jpg" width="229" /></a></div>And while my original Onc's nurse has called to see about scheduling an appointment, my original Onc had never even taken the time to call me with my actual cancer results after the Her2 pathology came in. Think about that for a little bit... it has almost been a full week since she should have called me and I have gone to three different doctors, had a surgery, and have another surgery tomorrow. My cancer case is going to the Tumor Board tomorrow, and she hasn't called once. Not to tell me what I have or what I am about to do. Nothing. </h4><div style="text-align: left;">All of this and more is why I am out and about looking for an Onc that cares! At minimum, cares about me living or communicating with me. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I ended up really liking this Onc today and feel like he is going to be a good fit for me. He was glad I was going to go to MD Anderson and was 100% supportive of me seeing as many doctors as I want and doing what I think is best for myself. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">And just like we suspected, with my type of cancer, we really can't wait around to start treatment. We need to get started as soon as possible. I let him know I was going to start treatment there with him - which means he start finalizing my plan. He let us know he was going to be at the Tumor Board in the morning and had already reviewed my case. At least I felt like someone was on my side at the meeting in the morning.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Plus, now I had an Onc which also meant I could let my other original Onc group know I had found care somewhere else. I ended up telling the Onc nurse (in a very nice way) and she was still rude to me on the phone. The phone call just solidified that I was definitely making the best decision for me.</div><h2 style="text-align: left;">Carpe Diem</h2><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizzzW0M_xYQqtMv1zimPpkmNtqWzImpCu2w0ByetysFzHDnWL3WKiL5bV75rs4Wk_X7ynOxYyRBye-0Htd-vidCGw7AgTY4J7t4-fzOs63Ic1Ujt0ziNrA_kahwGuv_NoCHl9nWdLGFu33-l7dVmiXLM_RXoIGL16fJyJ5lbTCCK01bgJBe8ThIy4spMbz/s2160/AirBrush_20230928102048.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1620" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizzzW0M_xYQqtMv1zimPpkmNtqWzImpCu2w0ByetysFzHDnWL3WKiL5bV75rs4Wk_X7ynOxYyRBye-0Htd-vidCGw7AgTY4J7t4-fzOs63Ic1Ujt0ziNrA_kahwGuv_NoCHl9nWdLGFu33-l7dVmiXLM_RXoIGL16fJyJ5lbTCCK01bgJBe8ThIy4spMbz/w153-h204/AirBrush_20230928102048.jpg" width="153" /></a>Well, now off for a little bit of fun with my daughter and mom at the beach volleyball sand courts. It is a beautiful day, and I am going to attempt to get a little sunshine before I have my port procedure tomorrow... which I am still a bit worried about. I hope it will be successful and I also hope they won't kill me while I watch!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2w1xrMeq0qzG3GIDTwrJxNf56iwFET-3KNFlxICOdmQlDyudvzkb58S7maNVvEPQYUo8jJ4SAMjsfCAajZiZGNOcs7zxwBut05HRfMShAtTH8EIG_uJsz7ktmyaSo8m_GNjd3ciSO5f1W3Yu63s8lPTm8JYgT4YW7S8N5_lOtdhIMjkkb9UyWGP9Jv1aG/s1598/PXL_20230927_180300937.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1598" data-original-width="1597" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2w1xrMeq0qzG3GIDTwrJxNf56iwFET-3KNFlxICOdmQlDyudvzkb58S7maNVvEPQYUo8jJ4SAMjsfCAajZiZGNOcs7zxwBut05HRfMShAtTH8EIG_uJsz7ktmyaSo8m_GNjd3ciSO5f1W3Yu63s8lPTm8JYgT4YW7S8N5_lOtdhIMjkkb9UyWGP9Jv1aG/w152-h152/PXL_20230927_180300937.jpg" width="152" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1v7R3SRUpF4GlMrWkyu_v4le63IE_Cw6MTh4is9EgQPmwortgABQeQjpUjWDYE49iwbhXxg7Exe6jCDyDE-N6sIrh3Kepb1F-0n4dx3HOyz9vbg1EjgmG_67oBdAzFysJrWrSw0QWLgp1N8Qqsfp9J0kAlR5oT2fImGWEZZ0KisoqQ8fjdPNY9eG6YSWq/s1164/AirBrush_20230928102249.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1163" data-original-width="1164" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1v7R3SRUpF4GlMrWkyu_v4le63IE_Cw6MTh4is9EgQPmwortgABQeQjpUjWDYE49iwbhXxg7Exe6jCDyDE-N6sIrh3Kepb1F-0n4dx3HOyz9vbg1EjgmG_67oBdAzFysJrWrSw0QWLgp1N8Qqsfp9J0kAlR5oT2fImGWEZZ0KisoqQ8fjdPNY9eG6YSWq/w153-h153/AirBrush_20230928102249.jpg" width="153" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwAWMHyVB1gX2tNkMV65nVxg41tJXV3A-aMhjUYLncu3AnyVlVG4xMWKWOUgxDUEfDW0uca_PrzmU0o8RaVQjMHA8XnQmkHda5XzN2mOefFT94IDcZ6ijj-DSGKnmGUm5WziDdU76RTmIIgsC3YLwLREvWmZhPeEJ7K-KPszt9FR-QUmA4Z1tDjKRjy0Ko/s1541/original_459b978f-3066-4dc7-a768-24abb1fcb714_PXL_20230927_180209912.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1461" data-original-width="1541" height="151" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwAWMHyVB1gX2tNkMV65nVxg41tJXV3A-aMhjUYLncu3AnyVlVG4xMWKWOUgxDUEfDW0uca_PrzmU0o8RaVQjMHA8XnQmkHda5XzN2mOefFT94IDcZ6ijj-DSGKnmGUm5WziDdU76RTmIIgsC3YLwLREvWmZhPeEJ7K-KPszt9FR-QUmA4Z1tDjKRjy0Ko/w160-h151/original_459b978f-3066-4dc7-a768-24abb1fcb714_PXL_20230927_180209912.jpg" width="160" /></a></div><h2 style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Getting a little Dead Poet's Society Inspiration</h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX0M5d6Bvp3KL-rxzTf6w2fC2o8rQWgSsDp3gMyFSbBHuRE_JHUJAgsWhnTDdLQU-HX3Pa6zWkbYhUHG-LSkAWnzRthQS83qA9oEVx9mg9DttqPDkO-RMJsZOZFiVI11J3Q5WxqT_prapD68tfIsWN5kNUpcU3Ksa38TNfT_bpWp_xGnm-IBftFAN1ZlLh/s625/carepe-diem-quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="416" data-original-width="625" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX0M5d6Bvp3KL-rxzTf6w2fC2o8rQWgSsDp3gMyFSbBHuRE_JHUJAgsWhnTDdLQU-HX3Pa6zWkbYhUHG-LSkAWnzRthQS83qA9oEVx9mg9DttqPDkO-RMJsZOZFiVI11J3Q5WxqT_prapD68tfIsWN5kNUpcU3Ksa38TNfT_bpWp_xGnm-IBftFAN1ZlLh/s320/carepe-diem-quote.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></div><p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-35405448343310526092023-09-26T21:37:00.333-05:002023-10-12T00:33:20.323-05:00today's surgical adventure = port failure<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqd-WGgbQV_ypR7qyteC7gvEtdpgAekW22doHto_ivw63HMYb_dmRZP07LD8JilD529Zdz081Uq0KOa5ZHMdeonvZ6Bls3YruZWxpBo70EwUkwFFFREji3hHRbKRpPhJSlhywbDUdHPyjalUYbgi8i0o5kHfz1aO-Udm8nxD16ZoTCX4sIUbCfOXLOFhMS/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(7).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqd-WGgbQV_ypR7qyteC7gvEtdpgAekW22doHto_ivw63HMYb_dmRZP07LD8JilD529Zdz081Uq0KOa5ZHMdeonvZ6Bls3YruZWxpBo70EwUkwFFFREji3hHRbKRpPhJSlhywbDUdHPyjalUYbgi8i0o5kHfz1aO-Udm8nxD16ZoTCX4sIUbCfOXLOFhMS/w217-h217/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(7).jpg" width="217" /></a></div>Sometimes thing go according to plan... and sometimes they don't. Sometimes things happen... and sometimes they don't. Today happens to be a don't day for me!<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVAEYkHpBNSkjpCsbfRkHRBcXNC8jliryZumQz46FbnFOsxvYSBEl_eHJJsX_PJhUJ9UDByMPJp39aUX02FwB3Qft7bMji37X0-8iTeGwvywMwz3ZaZing3fwa-uvRZyNau8AsOG5ZJWjFs1wPLS7wOlK7zF9wC6XPgKYVxJhXGPIRcDY6XrORuEMVQlqO/s480/AirBrush_20230926144147.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="360" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVAEYkHpBNSkjpCsbfRkHRBcXNC8jliryZumQz46FbnFOsxvYSBEl_eHJJsX_PJhUJ9UDByMPJp39aUX02FwB3Qft7bMji37X0-8iTeGwvywMwz3ZaZing3fwa-uvRZyNau8AsOG5ZJWjFs1wPLS7wOlK7zF9wC6XPgKYVxJhXGPIRcDY6XrORuEMVQlqO/w196-h261/AirBrush_20230926144147.jpg" width="196" /></a>My mom has been going through a lot recently. My dad was diagnosed with Metastasized Melanoma (in his lungs and a few other internal places... no external skin... crazy), and his treatment has been very challenging. So, my new cancer diagnosis has added another layer to the cancer crazy going on in our lives. Hence, she and I decided she should do the easy stuff for now. Taking me to get my port placement was supposed to be easy. She was ready for something... well, less cancer stressful. Turns out is was a much harder day than expected...</p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhexe4ZP_uFAyCPU0KvfGsGcZYkI53naKtKmWYX8Hlnxxz9UL59WtQ7C0fR9QDC2EjFZaDQwVB4ognUxvX4Ir-Th1V_vTEWtSRHbuHnts8kulACAufLqNYFD5H32pPmYYHItdYZ9IqR9ataHPk-quZEm6UYhLEynWXJ1OFMpNlStAb4N2NVa8OQ5TNVHl_4/s480/AirBrush_20230926144245.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="360" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhexe4ZP_uFAyCPU0KvfGsGcZYkI53naKtKmWYX8Hlnxxz9UL59WtQ7C0fR9QDC2EjFZaDQwVB4ognUxvX4Ir-Th1V_vTEWtSRHbuHnts8kulACAufLqNYFD5H32pPmYYHItdYZ9IqR9ataHPk-quZEm6UYhLEynWXJ1OFMpNlStAb4N2NVa8OQ5TNVHl_4/w197-h263/AirBrush_20230926144245.jpg" width="197" /></a>My mom was with me when I had <a href="http://www.tatawarrior.com/2013/05/port-this.html" target="_blank">my first port surgery in 2013</a>. As a joke I said, "I'll try not to die," when they wheeled me off for surgery. Yes, I did that then... and I did it again this time too. She decided to video me saying it and we laughed as they me away. Honestly, it was funny at the time because we were constantly reassured the port placement surgery was no big deal... it would only take maybe 15 minutes... super easy.</p><p>But, it wasn't. I am not sure how long the surgery was but it wasn't easy and it didn't take minutes and he ended up failing... failing 3 times. I did not get a port today!</p><p>Here's a cute graphic of what happened...</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWIfbdEnvuxUradp5mO0xmReKwZQ4xXQ4F_LHhemDoT5_8izwcyLikaTTk0gUai5gKy9dmCENf_-EsYhIDb0Km05tv9EhkCyjOnx0RV2AoAkzHCPBk-NzWfllnOOTHSLRwx9JDStzDmxYPkzwrSwnAOIF7SRPsDKE87tpFejH5Np54_eF_KZDuOgDpDFMr/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(8).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWIfbdEnvuxUradp5mO0xmReKwZQ4xXQ4F_LHhemDoT5_8izwcyLikaTTk0gUai5gKy9dmCENf_-EsYhIDb0Km05tv9EhkCyjOnx0RV2AoAkzHCPBk-NzWfllnOOTHSLRwx9JDStzDmxYPkzwrSwnAOIF7SRPsDKE87tpFejH5Np54_eF_KZDuOgDpDFMr/s320/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(8).jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Yes, this actually happened. The doctor actually came out and told my mom that he made three attempts to insert a port. And he went into the veins and pushed as far as he could go with each attempt, but it is dangerous to push too hard. If he did, he would probably rupture the vein and that would have killed me. He not only told my mom that, he also told me that as I was waking up from the surgery. He was serious.<div><br /></div><div>I decided to look up this up and learned that if he: "Rupture of the carotid arteries, which provide blood supply to the head and neck, results in massive hemorrhage leading to death within a matter of minutes in 33% of cases. Those who survive are frequently left handicapped." I feel better... not!</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGKgZ2mVPdQ2FdQjtYh3t9OZCqmXbYB-lZ1IUfb3iGf00DP6ephzNkfoG5EgSniRhOUbSMN8Gup2_8jdMBd0WD5jj0Rke_LmcXlQh01BDx_DLvqhzI5jzQ3XY9quEZelrq6XYS-HK2R42ufh3NJZGZLdVYEEZSZz7lmXaZA6CLhIQmNIHyvtuon_OYi1BS/s2160/AirBrush_20230926142124.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1620" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGKgZ2mVPdQ2FdQjtYh3t9OZCqmXbYB-lZ1IUfb3iGf00DP6ephzNkfoG5EgSniRhOUbSMN8Gup2_8jdMBd0WD5jj0Rke_LmcXlQh01BDx_DLvqhzI5jzQ3XY9quEZelrq6XYS-HK2R42ufh3NJZGZLdVYEEZSZz7lmXaZA6CLhIQmNIHyvtuon_OYi1BS/w171-h228/AirBrush_20230926142124.jpg" width="171" /></a>He also told me (right after he said he could have killed me with a smile) that I was going to have another attempt at a port in 2 days with a specialist group, an Intervention Radiologist (which is a medical sub-specialty of radiology utilizing minimally-invasive image-guided procedures). They would have the necessary equipment to monitor my veins.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now remember... I am coming of surgery and anesthesia meds. I am in recovery and not thinking super clearly and alone. They are also bringing a portable x-ray machine to check my heart and lungs for any issues post surgery. They have never done this before. So, I am wondering WTF did this doctor do to me while I was asleep!</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlh7afb0k-TJDUFuQacSeLaTqfkLgnP6vIJeJWOOThKyODs_ZYFIwys09rI3RUocrk7H3pBES08B5UHBpnelsxUWgPegergpK-ufR9T2zrZzWh72Rwg3JstrBx-Oo9zWTRvrigIKxGLpEP47w35P5nPEXvUAeGB0L_pJyXyLKPV0W851Kvk0piw54Mgleh/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(9).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlh7afb0k-TJDUFuQacSeLaTqfkLgnP6vIJeJWOOThKyODs_ZYFIwys09rI3RUocrk7H3pBES08B5UHBpnelsxUWgPegergpK-ufR9T2zrZzWh72Rwg3JstrBx-Oo9zWTRvrigIKxGLpEP47w35P5nPEXvUAeGB0L_pJyXyLKPV0W851Kvk0piw54Mgleh/w240-h240/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(9).jpg" width="240" /></a></div>I have a crap-load of mental question, but thinking why am I somewhere having this procedure if he doesn't have the right equipment to begin with and why is a Breast Surgeon the person I was sent to in 2013 and 2023 for port surgeries???</div><div><p>Originally, he said he was going to go in my original port location - which is on the right side of my neck. He scanned it and said it was too narrow to use that vein. So, he obviously didn't cut on it. However, he did take 3 different attempts on my left side and each failed because the veins narrowed - and if he continued to push he would rupture my vein... and kill me. </p><p>I literally was drugged up and contemplating WTF was going on. I had been cut up on for really no purpose, but I had a bunch of questions that my mind thought of then and right after, but I didn't think to ask...</p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>He scanned my right side, why did he not scan my left side before cutting me up? </li><li>And 3 attempts? He didn't fail just 1 time... he failed 3 times?</li><li>How aggressive did he push on me? Because I feel pretty beat up?</li><li>Why am I having a surgery where he doesn't have the equipment necessary to handle possible medical problems for that type of surgery? Why would he have me in the Women/Children section verses the Main hospital?</li><li>Why are you needing to do an x-ray on me before I leave... checking to see if you did any damage? </li><li>I have to do this potentially death port surgery again in 2 days. If there is a specialty group that does this surgery then why did he do this surgery in the 1st place?</li><li>If this surgery was so simple and easy, why was I not told any risk ahead of time?</li><li>Why did he tell my mom (and me) that he almost killed me along with the fact I am doing this surgery again in 2 days? Maybe a better bedside manner because now my mom is now freaked out and scared to death! </li></ol><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAtyFjZcS_2WJ1LDOCEB022TsKDvZbNNTsm3j-3-44W_SnzJugYhrVg3oguKmGMcPHI1CDgBca5lPvbsRNbyn18svcLQA2HSLXVrdpB9wRibNdpq2FTDcsNNjjRVW46sWgVQclh-NRsF_bKqt6i4Zh3JugIzGRCdteB78mei4zf3Ex9DSCdlbUBMtsTuxc/s1409/AirBrush_20230926142237.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1409" data-original-width="1391" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAtyFjZcS_2WJ1LDOCEB022TsKDvZbNNTsm3j-3-44W_SnzJugYhrVg3oguKmGMcPHI1CDgBca5lPvbsRNbyn18svcLQA2HSLXVrdpB9wRibNdpq2FTDcsNNjjRVW46sWgVQclh-NRsF_bKqt6i4Zh3JugIzGRCdteB78mei4zf3Ex9DSCdlbUBMtsTuxc/w218-h221/AirBrush_20230926142237.jpg" width="218" /></a></div>I know have multiple surgical cuts along my neck and lower chest area. He glued them up and covered them in tape. They let me go, but later I got a copy of my x-ray result and it showed I have a "suspected mild left basil atelectasis." That wasn't there before (and is there now... it showed up on a later CT scan... post this port procedure. Makes me wonder what he did to my chest!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>I was exhausted, tired, and kind of in shock. My mom was the same. She was so upset she went on a small hospital shopping trip when I was in recovery. She bought me a small funny witch to sit next to me as I recovered and a funny Halloween flag for my front yard. It was a way for her to cope with the shock of hearing I might have died. Today, was not an "easy" day for her.<p></p></div><div>When we finally met up, she said if I died in that surgery she would have played the video of me saying, "I'll try not to die," at my ceremony. We laughed. At least we both still have our odd sense of humor.</div><h2 style="text-align: left;">Serious Thoughts Now</h2><div>This was very unexpected. I went through what we were told was an "easy" surgery. I did easily get my port the 1st time I dealt with cancer. However, I do think having a port placement surgery after having radiation on the chest creates more challenges (and the 2013 radiation and chemo could have also affected the veins). And I think that is something that should have been discussed with my husband and I when we spoke about this surgery with the surgeon (and none of these issues were ever discussed or even mentioned to us). I should have been referred to the Intervention Radiologist. And would have been if anyone had checked my veins beforehand with an Ultrasound Machine. That would have been a pretty easy way to determine the veins were too narrow for my Breast Surgeon to do... instead he cut me up to find it out. </div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjhy3iB-wlo9fV9pEbWKbBGkytKmQ8ewwfsa49M8zZvX1eGkqadF9d9SV78gG9ry7Zo5ztaW4l6rXeK00IBE4XtuLiC4QPheESHQPyTVBiZmWk7-dBEdQp5IBqSqYa6-jQBlriZprn4zmTVLIePc8LJUo1uSX0n9wMnVnAQ5aST4nEAaIYqWX6g7_axhwu/s4032/PXL_20231007_202138272.MP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="2268" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjhy3iB-wlo9fV9pEbWKbBGkytKmQ8ewwfsa49M8zZvX1eGkqadF9d9SV78gG9ry7Zo5ztaW4l6rXeK00IBE4XtuLiC4QPheESHQPyTVBiZmWk7-dBEdQp5IBqSqYa6-jQBlriZprn4zmTVLIePc8LJUo1uSX0n9wMnVnAQ5aST4nEAaIYqWX6g7_axhwu/s320/PXL_20231007_202138272.MP.jpg" width="180" /></a>This is a picture two weeks after both port procedures. As you can see, there was some aggressive attempts and bruising far below my neck, chest, and breast. I wonder if this port procedure did do damage to my lung - which showed up only after the 1st attempted port surgery. </div><div><br /></div><h2 style="text-align: left;">Back to my current situation</h2><div>However at this time, I only knew I was going to attempt to do this over again in 2 days... and I was told I would not be put to sleep for it the next time. I would be awake and in a twilight type state. I just heard my veins were so narrow that pushing through them would likely kill me, and it was not reassuring to think that I was going to be awake to watch my possible death. Don't quote me - but quote me, "I'll try not to die."</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBpm2fAeI4GBQtsWyfhzlAWpj1PtQnXvpUsFW6qMhNUDKwdCHtdWMYK3urnOJ3SNov6xRnf2ivk7FY-SYrFb_a74jP79pIwCIfaoSyClu_OVXwsCqTcX7jUi7Jn0qbUpJVduMUYcUsTUZmUTUhoWBAsLJh1g82VLkgVRs7bMU_7AKW2UnUCE1FKtXGulJ8/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(10).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="729" data-original-width="1080" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBpm2fAeI4GBQtsWyfhzlAWpj1PtQnXvpUsFW6qMhNUDKwdCHtdWMYK3urnOJ3SNov6xRnf2ivk7FY-SYrFb_a74jP79pIwCIfaoSyClu_OVXwsCqTcX7jUi7Jn0qbUpJVduMUYcUsTUZmUTUhoWBAsLJh1g82VLkgVRs7bMU_7AKW2UnUCE1FKtXGulJ8/s320/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(10).jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><br /></div>Too soon?!?!<div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Instead enjoy a fun video - Oingo Boingo's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iypUpv9xelg" target="_blank">Dead Man's Party</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-69077566187777986602023-09-25T20:00:00.005-05:002023-10-12T00:37:31.653-05:00GrandeBrow - product review to try and keep my eyebrows<h1 style="text-align: left;">Product Review of Grande Brow</h1><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Part 1: A video review Before Chemo Treatment Started</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="335" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/soHPxWuZXnw" width="490" youtube-src-id="soHPxWuZXnw"></iframe></div><div><br /></div>Part 2: I will make an update video to show if Grande Brow worked for me when chemo hair loss starts!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-67423802262139360922023-09-22T23:23:00.185-05:002023-10-07T23:38:38.250-05:00double down doctors<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfjqLXDHuJJ8jQDIwSHtCLaT7Wxf9jAX6e-uWY_fjNviyMxVKD905Lbw653P4pqO6xPtfz4WABwu_-u3m8b05H4y9r3yP1eTFblaYRSX9zfkSDkopGd0QZ7SJbphOOOAErrPKnyV4dkIH-Yr-RdDiq0RhSOfxUT4LsECgONwP0NxUd-kf7Re5umhWETket/s1620/AirBrush_20231001162332.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1620" data-original-width="1620" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfjqLXDHuJJ8jQDIwSHtCLaT7Wxf9jAX6e-uWY_fjNviyMxVKD905Lbw653P4pqO6xPtfz4WABwu_-u3m8b05H4y9r3yP1eTFblaYRSX9zfkSDkopGd0QZ7SJbphOOOAErrPKnyV4dkIH-Yr-RdDiq0RhSOfxUT4LsECgONwP0NxUd-kf7Re5umhWETket/w209-h209/AirBrush_20231001162332.jpg" width="209" /></a></div>So my daughter and I finished our whirlwind college tour of the Northeast (on Thursday), and I was back in town for two doctor's appointments (on Friday).<div><br /></div><div>With little sleep and a lot of questions, I hit the ground running...</div><div><h2 style="text-align: left;">The Breast Surgeon</h2><p>So, this was my breast surgeon from Cancer 2013. He did my port surgery and lumpectomy. Now, he was the first doctor I was actually meeting with to discuss my Cancer 2023. FACT - we all know that should have been my Oncologist. However, if you have been keeping up with my journey, you realize that my Onc is not exactly doing what she should... more like what a doctor should not.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVmirXMqZGpmUF1XF_3P_vg6KtcXzdGFKtt10I-Rla9UiOvoYO2oMd5lzw1Y99DUKp372n0NV1falElrZAhZfUYLSkiXw_b1PSY4UkroE-qwBKkE4mdWChP6HU2UBAeQYW2KDw-9JAcbf2Y3UuZ5Hyna51_-Ol6v1k_q7F8iWwtwTKn117Ac3E4A5D3Q8G/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(7).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVmirXMqZGpmUF1XF_3P_vg6KtcXzdGFKtt10I-Rla9UiOvoYO2oMd5lzw1Y99DUKp372n0NV1falElrZAhZfUYLSkiXw_b1PSY4UkroE-qwBKkE4mdWChP6HU2UBAeQYW2KDw-9JAcbf2Y3UuZ5Hyna51_-Ol6v1k_q7F8iWwtwTKn117Ac3E4A5D3Q8G/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(7).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVmirXMqZGpmUF1XF_3P_vg6KtcXzdGFKtt10I-Rla9UiOvoYO2oMd5lzw1Y99DUKp372n0NV1falElrZAhZfUYLSkiXw_b1PSY4UkroE-qwBKkE4mdWChP6HU2UBAeQYW2KDw-9JAcbf2Y3UuZ5Hyna51_-Ol6v1k_q7F8iWwtwTKn117Ac3E4A5D3Q8G/w209-h209/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(7).jpg" width="209" /></a></div>Let's get the interesting stuff on the blog first - he feels my boobs up with his eyes closed. It is a little weird. <b>I am lying on the table with my husband next to me getting my breasts felt up by another man while a female nurse watches alongside my husband.</b> If that isn't a complicated and odd sentence... and a sentence no one thinks they will write?!? </div><div><br /></div><div>He doesn't feel much because I do not have a physical tumor to feel in my breast. However, he does ask if my lymph nodes were swollen at all on the side. I say they are, and he feels them with a slightly loud gasp and agrees. Not exactly reassuring that the cancer isn't spreading... kind of the opposite. However, I know this is part of the process.<p>Here's what he did say in brief (plus, some bonus snide comments that I have to add because I already know what happens)...</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbVP2duG5NMBiMYBd0iuwz74CnwAEh3G7-qxAeBsFsD3BqhB5JE1aR3HiHh95sdHdTsBpEEgtxZRoqox7utw3l5CREDBYhXtHAHzqP6wSHS30AvHV9dDbKgkpDzTb6QuX7dU4u1h29tWWTkW_kd7IP5xHFuKaiBwm5mHxiFORCk5u0NkD8i7Ma3qZ56AlY/s1002/3%20ports.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1002" data-original-width="533" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbVP2duG5NMBiMYBd0iuwz74CnwAEh3G7-qxAeBsFsD3BqhB5JE1aR3HiHh95sdHdTsBpEEgtxZRoqox7utw3l5CREDBYhXtHAHzqP6wSHS30AvHV9dDbKgkpDzTb6QuX7dU4u1h29tWWTkW_kd7IP5xHFuKaiBwm5mHxiFORCk5u0NkD8i7Ma3qZ56AlY/w134-h252/3%20ports.jpg" width="134" /></a></div>1. I need a Port Surgery. What he says? It is super easy. We will go in right where we went before. If needed, I might have to go in on the left, but it is a 10 minute easy surgery that I will get set up right away. <p></p><p>(<i><b>Snide Me: It failed... he tried 3 times surgically... and his nurse even canceled the follow up appointment because he didn't put in the port so it wasn't considered a surgery - yes, he drugged me and cut me in multiple locations... I bet his place still charges me for the surgery even though it didn't work!</b></i>)</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPtpf4O9ZIh8fxvuBLj3NnQDC7orjagc_vviVa5ELfYOptIv6J5_HgaB5_-QDM1ZNaHz-vbbofId9vHwZOhS0MMKdMUXG8m28Yj2oJpbDOQIrgDAL6lNl1yRgsnz30FDPQ6YXQwFJCHz2gfYjdTwVMPeJgL26_neKc6MNTcVsNXzEH4Oe88nBnsAXBut4X/s1004/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(10).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1004" data-original-width="470" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPtpf4O9ZIh8fxvuBLj3NnQDC7orjagc_vviVa5ELfYOptIv6J5_HgaB5_-QDM1ZNaHz-vbbofId9vHwZOhS0MMKdMUXG8m28Yj2oJpbDOQIrgDAL6lNl1yRgsnz30FDPQ6YXQwFJCHz2gfYjdTwVMPeJgL26_neKc6MNTcVsNXzEH4Oe88nBnsAXBut4X/w115-h245/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(10).jpg" width="115" /></a></div>2. My Treatment Plan. What he said? It is pretty much already decided (even though I haven't seen an Oncologist). He is taking my case will be reviewed at a board of 35 doctors the following Thursday and they will all agree on what I need to do with Chemo, Surgery, Radiation. He will call me with their response. <p></p><p>(<b><i>Snide Me: This is a Tumor Board of Special or Challenging Cases that he didn't fully tell me about... he was vague... and acted like it was the normal procedure for any patient... he didn't tell me the full truth about it... which I don't like. I also don't like when he implies I have to do what they say and do not have a say in my own treatment plan. By being slightly dishonest, it feels fully dishonest.</i></b>)</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1fUlWswnltSEQvv9pLz8MTMFgRZc0oRSt4c-eC0q8tIvkslgXX0I4jPS9ezxZhQv9_HpsvyxqMWqf3_9UJAwPyl9Nietsx9eNUeovvB3AFOgIdFcfVHDJFXPoO1FKT44gdXK-6hhyphenhyphen7ytHS1A5pMb8WzuOhXvf5ZuoB5MR-R_yF81NfHNBFbhQt6OZ-jOg/s1040/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(11).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1040" data-original-width="560" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1fUlWswnltSEQvv9pLz8MTMFgRZc0oRSt4c-eC0q8tIvkslgXX0I4jPS9ezxZhQv9_HpsvyxqMWqf3_9UJAwPyl9Nietsx9eNUeovvB3AFOgIdFcfVHDJFXPoO1FKT44gdXK-6hhyphenhyphen7ytHS1A5pMb8WzuOhXvf5ZuoB5MR-R_yF81NfHNBFbhQt6OZ-jOg/w130-h241/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(11).jpg" width="130" /></a></div>3. I need an Oncologist, but it is complicated. What he says? When I arrived, I told the nurse about my Onc issues. She assured me the Breast Surgeon would have some great referrals. Guess what? He is on the Board where my current Onc is and he tell me that he cannot really refer anyone to me because of that. He says my Onc is the best - and I kindly disagree. He can either sorta secretly name a few or basically I need to figure it out for myself.<p></p><p>(<b><i>Snide Me: You cannot give a referral to a patient? You are bound to not give a professional opinion? No way! You are a Breast Surgeon for women in our area... and you are on the board at one facility while working with women from all facilities... which is fine, but not if it makes you not serve your patients. I just have to say... WTF?</i></b></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRf98o0DR-cpmqRoy9RCtnCiRntwBAe2Mgjf-Hjb4dT3z9ueqwEV2enCOqbu_vtLMiIxU7ys-8uSc0NW2QyIGwZVkNfWaPlDc_vDHjaMC0ckA5jplzs-Yd_uFjbJ9jdfTeZW3R97MDJ24w-ROD4zfO-GqUdIdfvo65qzOI4qpB3VVuayYRS6Rn2KUi_ac5/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(9).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="666" data-original-width="1080" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRf98o0DR-cpmqRoy9RCtnCiRntwBAe2Mgjf-Hjb4dT3z9ueqwEV2enCOqbu_vtLMiIxU7ys-8uSc0NW2QyIGwZVkNfWaPlDc_vDHjaMC0ckA5jplzs-Yd_uFjbJ9jdfTeZW3R97MDJ24w-ROD4zfO-GqUdIdfvo65qzOI4qpB3VVuayYRS6Rn2KUi_ac5/w361-h222/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(9).jpg" width="361" /></a></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Primary Doctor</h2><p>I really like my family doctor. He is upfront and direct with me. He looked at all my reports and say, "This is out of my wheelhouse." And I respect that.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPw7hPYA88470mPS-jmp7uOwPOMMdHFtbZqEDnlk7fc3W6SgfrDHacGiSfq_RvWQV3y2NrNFJSC56EqhhCuWwXrbzxVvfHhnOsof6wpofWyHMd3o-MUPGO9OdbMc_HDHKd1OOFHI085OowDK5zICBl7uZ1RzOYy-AwcTWaBfSyLykzEM9FxsiHCHba_zgp/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(8).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPw7hPYA88470mPS-jmp7uOwPOMMdHFtbZqEDnlk7fc3W6SgfrDHacGiSfq_RvWQV3y2NrNFJSC56EqhhCuWwXrbzxVvfHhnOsof6wpofWyHMd3o-MUPGO9OdbMc_HDHKd1OOFHI085OowDK5zICBl7uZ1RzOYy-AwcTWaBfSyLykzEM9FxsiHCHba_zgp/w201-h201/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(8).jpg" width="201" /></a></div>We talked a long time during our appointment about the need for an Oncologist that I trust, has decent bedside manner, can handle me going to MD Anderson for a 2nd Opinion without being ridiculously insulted, and up for a challenging breast cancer case. And finally, I got a solid and upfront Onc referral with someone my Primary thinks I will like. Not only is it a referral, but he put in a urgent referral so they would make sure to get me in quickly.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then he explained to me what the Breast Surgeon did not do very well - that my case is going to the Tumor Board which reviews unusual cases. It is 35 Oncologist, Radiation Oncologists, Surgeons, and other doctors who all work together to figure out the very best treatment plan. It is a great thing to have that many doctors looking at my cancer situation... it is also a terrifying thing to need to be sent to the Tumor Board at all.</div><div><p>We go over all the things we can, but in the end he says he will defer to the Oncologist. And at least now, I think I have one... </p><h2 style="text-align: center;">Get ready to envy me Teddy Roosevelt! </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL2w8dzolZWX5l5pK1rla_PqvphqAS6M4dtbjXId4HX0f5sWk9qn-Ysviidx8rr4ZEPpscEEDXI26mOER1vf-TPUKs7bCAyjdwfKFokX2wWKh7NaDarUy1k7NWRLZ0o5K-BCyTbdd5imEF6wi9l7ZnTlGaHj3hjxemBYRFFgYtAp-zn01UpmQ3SHK3ORy8/s850/easy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="850" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL2w8dzolZWX5l5pK1rla_PqvphqAS6M4dtbjXId4HX0f5sWk9qn-Ysviidx8rr4ZEPpscEEDXI26mOER1vf-TPUKs7bCAyjdwfKFokX2wWKh7NaDarUy1k7NWRLZ0o5K-BCyTbdd5imEF6wi9l7ZnTlGaHj3hjxemBYRFFgYtAp-zn01UpmQ3SHK3ORy8/w477-h225/easy.jpg" width="477" /></a></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-76796980464344054512023-09-21T17:00:00.002-05:002023-10-01T23:50:31.263-05:00bad news summary<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP5HP0xvsMS69SvLV2ObmFNJ23RnQweuVllOtprGQw0kdobZFcC5-Og1vq07ylVZO2hQZ9WXR-Kxby1ekl_GwMSu2YYAp9cHeBM_TJCQIMc97fnhSXFz3mWdpbZYTLWNt_FLicjwjqrNQJgsCJaw2EJQPZ8GuGoaovDvaokYvZhVYnBIuHlfte2ghN6K6M/s1164/info.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1164" data-original-width="555" height="598" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP5HP0xvsMS69SvLV2ObmFNJ23RnQweuVllOtprGQw0kdobZFcC5-Og1vq07ylVZO2hQZ9WXR-Kxby1ekl_GwMSu2YYAp9cHeBM_TJCQIMc97fnhSXFz3mWdpbZYTLWNt_FLicjwjqrNQJgsCJaw2EJQPZ8GuGoaovDvaokYvZhVYnBIuHlfte2ghN6K6M/w287-h598/info.jpg" width="287" /></a></div>I have <b>Triple Negative Breast Cancer that Metastasized to the Lymph Nodes as a Cancer with an Unknown Primary.</b><div><b><br /></b><p></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">1st bad news - I have Triple Negative Breast Cancer. </h4><p>(aka - "... cancer is not fueled by the hormones estrogen and progesterone, or HER2 protein. Only 10-20% of breast cancers fall in this range.") </p><p><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">2nd bad news - I have NO Primary Tumor in the Breast </h4><p>I had never heard of this and had to go find out what that means. It is called CUP (Carcinoma of Unknown Primary) or Occult Primary Tumor. </p><p>(aka - "Carcinoma of unknown primary (CUP) is a rare disease in which malignant (cancer) cells are found in the body but the place the cancer began is not known." "These cases make up about 2% to 5% of cancers diagnosed in the United States.")</p><p><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">3rd bad news - I went from 2 Axillary Lymph Nodes to "Numerous (10+) Lymph Nodes" in just a few weeks.</h4><p>(aka - oh (insert a curse word of your choice) - it is spreading fast and aggressive.)</p><p><br /></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">So, bad news review:</h2><h4 style="text-align: left;">I have Triple Negative Breast Cancer that is in my Lymph Nodes only making it a CUP - minimum Stage 3. It is rare and spreading fast. </h4><p>I would never have known if I had not had the CT from the car accident and fought against doctor's opinions for me to wait a bit before getting the testing done. It is kind of scary to think how much worse this would be if I had waited 6 months to a year or didn't question things. It is also scary to think how many other women probably have had this, but didn't know until it was too late!</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">What is Next?</h4><p>I already met with my breast surgeon and primary doctor. I am getting a port put in place on Tuesday. Even though there is a standard treatment protocol, the breast surgeon is taking my case to be reviewed by the board (35 doctors/oncologist/radiologists/etc.) on Thursday since it is a atypical type of cancer and they are all going to discuss the best treatment options. That is a great thing, but kind of scary thing to be needing! </p><p>I made an appointment with a new Oncologist for Wednesday because mine has done a ton of things I am unhappy with, including making me fight to get the biopsy and the way she handled the results (and honestly, just being rude and dismissive to me as well). </p><p>It is a horrible time to be interviewing Oncologists because time is not on my side right now. I need to start treatment. So, I am most likely going with the next one and if I need to figure it out after I start treatment then I will.</p><p>I have been in contact with MD Anderson - to get some type of appointment asap. I will need to start looking for clinical trials too. They said I need to go ahead and start treatment here ASAP and not to wait on them. They are waiting on my medical reports - which my current Oncologist hasn't sent them. So, I contacted my Primary doctor to have him send my medical reports. Another reason why this Oncologist is not right for me.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfK9I3e271qPQs5wP5LG0R-YohaRAgyXOjUylIkMY0WVx5XZlhrpUBqWuiYfaVc6A1TJx9UltJID8WZl02NKtjHtiT2wZIierf-2r8fIz5FhXPicAAGX6C3WhJAt6jHDxjcBJj169ZkEXlJVZXZztiC7sbiUd6QB3rQeveCBR0yowERovC_-UnML2pwwAW/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(2).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfK9I3e271qPQs5wP5LG0R-YohaRAgyXOjUylIkMY0WVx5XZlhrpUBqWuiYfaVc6A1TJx9UltJID8WZl02NKtjHtiT2wZIierf-2r8fIz5FhXPicAAGX6C3WhJAt6jHDxjcBJj169ZkEXlJVZXZztiC7sbiUd6QB3rQeveCBR0yowERovC_-UnML2pwwAW/s320/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(2).jpg" width="320" /></a></div>I am back from my trip and now into fight cancer mode. It is going to be a tough fight, but this cancer has no idea who it decided to mess with!<p></p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: right;">A Little Blog Inspiration</p><p style="text-align: right;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxQS6lfn0yU" target="_blank">Superman</a> by REM</p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-63850010658513575852023-09-20T21:37:00.192-05:002023-10-01T23:52:14.302-05:00triple negative breast cancer in lymph nodes (cancer of unknown primary)<p><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Brief recap: Monday - my Oncologist called and we had an uncomfortable exchange. She told me she was going to call me with my Her2 results. Tuesday - my results were added to my Pathology report that I am unable to get and all my doctors and nurses were gone for the day. It's Wednesday, and I hoped that someone would be calling me soon.</b></span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKB-zVoZQV9Hai3tWD1yRxQl7zd17oLWW20az30giurOmE11KPTXsp_OqrTHo8lL8_npUxwXt-AeQaoj2wiNvsJcN5kHFhNQ7hWD7NXxKrDEqE8hKkYWfup3ABeUHU1VagVD9LPQhNrHLS5kw79yRIen6L5grKU5hjgt0UhVklQJEl9BqUimz-zasQO-xF/s1800/triple%20negative.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="998" data-original-width="1800" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKB-zVoZQV9Hai3tWD1yRxQl7zd17oLWW20az30giurOmE11KPTXsp_OqrTHo8lL8_npUxwXt-AeQaoj2wiNvsJcN5kHFhNQ7hWD7NXxKrDEqE8hKkYWfup3ABeUHU1VagVD9LPQhNrHLS5kw79yRIen6L5grKU5hjgt0UhVklQJEl9BqUimz-zasQO-xF/s320/triple%20negative.png" width="320" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Results Day, Wednesday</h3><div>My daughter actually had a meeting with a coach before we were scheduled to go on a campus tour the school. We arrived early and decided to get out and enjoy the view before her meeting. Not a minute before the coach began walking toward us, my phone rang. It was the Oncologist nurse who was telling me that my Her2 was negative. <b>I have Triple Negative Breast Cancer.</b><div><p></p><p>Yikes, I already knew that was the option... but I was hoping it was not the option I would get. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhssu3Jjr149KG0-rvE6CkomGyXTNp2Jq9uV4axU1HvrPoF9AKeSkqVB6Ir1L0Cz6zltpkGtsy8VFqWT8P26ZVZifaIAjrh5rhR7IDoIM-4SwuE1iSa1z6E7wmb4gzAM_S_keqFf3_f0jPmYd5U7rSj7xEnrrDmNLA0p4fkUKEIcnPkaVCdTZk6TeTXtqTU/s2160/college%20tour%202.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1626" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhssu3Jjr149KG0-rvE6CkomGyXTNp2Jq9uV4axU1HvrPoF9AKeSkqVB6Ir1L0Cz6zltpkGtsy8VFqWT8P26ZVZifaIAjrh5rhR7IDoIM-4SwuE1iSa1z6E7wmb4gzAM_S_keqFf3_f0jPmYd5U7rSj7xEnrrDmNLA0p4fkUKEIcnPkaVCdTZk6TeTXtqTU/w180-h238/college%20tour%202.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>I can't fully remember the things we said because I was walking toward my daughter and the coach. And she knew. She knew by the look on my face. She could read my expression, even though I attempted to hide it. And I knew she knew, and I knew I had to hang up the phone. <p></p><p>Ironically, this reminded me of when I was <a href="http://www.tatawarrior.com/2013/04/episode-iv-no-i-am-your-cancer-its.html" target="_blank">diagnosed with my first primary cancer</a> in 2013. I was walking to my daughter coming out of school when she was in Kindergarten. Now, I was walking to her as she was outside of one of her dream colleges.</p><p>It paralleled to 2013, and I was ready to finish the phone call. Unfortunately, this time the nurse wasn't telling me anything new, and my mind was racing with thoughts - including even if I was still considering using this Oncology group. I also knew my results were bad... and time was not on my side. </p><blockquote><p>... the American Cancer Society estimates that about 32,590 cases of cancer of unknown primary will be diagnosed in 2023 in the United States. This number represents about 2% of all cancers.</p></blockquote><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqkSLvPTOH3etrFLAb8iJsBbV7Bqi_K-XsChPV_ZBNutR2mdg_xMpov2SMoiyYwc44HIhpKzaSwQdiQzZJ6c_r5q4FZ96RtixSJ2XKeWCfMvwiw32mYW-M5Q3DdNyd7s5nWaI8mYPXJKV-68sB5qhkuJJSgD5i4vwH7qWmZcJSTiIk3ZCUni1slBpLLW_B/s4080/PXL_20230920_220210117.MP%20(1).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3072" data-original-width="4080" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqkSLvPTOH3etrFLAb8iJsBbV7Bqi_K-XsChPV_ZBNutR2mdg_xMpov2SMoiyYwc44HIhpKzaSwQdiQzZJ6c_r5q4FZ96RtixSJ2XKeWCfMvwiw32mYW-M5Q3DdNyd7s5nWaI8mYPXJKV-68sB5qhkuJJSgD5i4vwH7qWmZcJSTiIk3ZCUni1slBpLLW_B/s320/PXL_20230920_220210117.MP%20(1).jpg" width="320" /></a></div>I looked at my daughter's face and told the nurse I couldn't talk at that time because I was in a meeting with my daughter. I asked if I could call her back. <p></p><p>She said <b>no</b> (I was surprised because shouldn't I be able to call to talk to her or have her call me back). </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ARDs7GDDXEpeFs-DP7j8hONaLun9GO0suZiXvJi55V0shU4Iz30l7Wki-0oXo56l_tlBHeuUtDHZM1iE-7Nu8RY5CxCpDWpVGnIuaV0GoG48hwiRbdfxS-DjSWzSG26W0_bOHJBOIJffvC4AuTmSoNdSWWP5cYva9ywXrpiKeKZ7ZuqcRs_2R5gMrwzj/s591/no%201.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="366" data-original-width="591" height="64" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ARDs7GDDXEpeFs-DP7j8hONaLun9GO0suZiXvJi55V0shU4Iz30l7Wki-0oXo56l_tlBHeuUtDHZM1iE-7Nu8RY5CxCpDWpVGnIuaV0GoG48hwiRbdfxS-DjSWzSG26W0_bOHJBOIJffvC4AuTmSoNdSWWP5cYva9ywXrpiKeKZ7ZuqcRs_2R5gMrwzj/w104-h64/no%201.jpg" width="104" /></a></div>She asked when I was free, so she could call me. I said two hours. I have no idea why!?! I completely forgot that I would likely be in the middle of Princeton's college tour, but I wasn't thinking. We hung up. And I went on a lovely tour with the nicest coach, and where my daughter knew which type of cancer I had by the looks we gave each other.<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixrcUdz4ElmVrBjUkHtt06sWdOYQq8WI29YRoJcJrbmiQVxXLPdPKL_pKDiVse3w7zKk3hddFgmyR_a151LX79HETEJvRj5-J08NRoeLZrAlSZtTxr89kCRDK4dl-IXuiLYxp53I62nsLgN7QWu_6NTC9M3-SzpuBw3ry7fwkLUSFPCupRzU7oRX29VxyA/s2160/college%20tour%203.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1626" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixrcUdz4ElmVrBjUkHtt06sWdOYQq8WI29YRoJcJrbmiQVxXLPdPKL_pKDiVse3w7zKk3hddFgmyR_a151LX79HETEJvRj5-J08NRoeLZrAlSZtTxr89kCRDK4dl-IXuiLYxp53I62nsLgN7QWu_6NTC9M3-SzpuBw3ry7fwkLUSFPCupRzU7oRX29VxyA/w201-h267/college%20tour%203.jpg" width="201" /></a></div>As soon as the meeting with the coach was over, we had to go on the scheduled college tour. We had a chance to talk as we tried to find out tour. Of course, we were running late (and slightly worried about me too). <p></p><p>More than two hours passed without any call from my Oncologist or her nurse. I kept thinking that I should have heard directly from my Onc, only because she told me she would call me directly. However, I was still going to give her time. Maybe she would call later that night, around 6:30 pm (since that is the time she had called me for all of our conversations). </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_oSYZrYEl267n9GYl5bTswYQ3UFpfsC8MvQIb3UpCNYCG6eJkJrxpv3oh-8IRe9_KpApegqbBwCPpaGfw4ht2mra2u1ClRQNHWYgzp6TbQLugNvR1FrWjF-mWYGhnBNRdOzH-JdOHGoUITMN6_apxSrocwskyDjNY2YPy_P4pWyGYvzzP2Rl6y3NinNg_/s4080/college%20tour.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4080" data-original-width="3072" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_oSYZrYEl267n9GYl5bTswYQ3UFpfsC8MvQIb3UpCNYCG6eJkJrxpv3oh-8IRe9_KpApegqbBwCPpaGfw4ht2mra2u1ClRQNHWYgzp6TbQLugNvR1FrWjF-mWYGhnBNRdOzH-JdOHGoUITMN6_apxSrocwskyDjNY2YPy_P4pWyGYvzzP2Rl6y3NinNg_/w163-h216/college%20tour.jpg" width="163" /></a></div>I did get a phone call from the nurse a bit later, at the end of the walking tour. I stepped aside, so I could talk - hoping to get more details. But mainly, the nurse wanted to tell me to make an appointment with the Radiation Oncologist. I asked her what the treatment plan would be. She said it was likely chemo, surgery, and radiation - that would need to start asap. I was hoping for more information about the details, but it was vague. I waited to see if she noticed my appointment with the Onc was twelve days away. She did, and then she said we should just leave the appointment and could always move it if needed. <p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUywdp2X0Rk5ImcKx1jfokmCiWd0VTlhhM7wn2aYk0iL4F0XKxCfKRDn_o7vXwJNf0VIb-14cy5KgEWYw4ErDfMv9kIIsBKh0xxD1t98YHhkl9_iD76KNmWcAko8DSMIkE2Qldw9TJL034xWesOcams6XOfqLnC9UQbi4GEPObZtg6_PSERhMqXimOqIiz/s549/huh.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="527" data-original-width="549" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUywdp2X0Rk5ImcKx1jfokmCiWd0VTlhhM7wn2aYk0iL4F0XKxCfKRDn_o7vXwJNf0VIb-14cy5KgEWYw4ErDfMv9kIIsBKh0xxD1t98YHhkl9_iD76KNmWcAko8DSMIkE2Qldw9TJL034xWesOcams6XOfqLnC9UQbi4GEPObZtg6_PSERhMqXimOqIiz/w245-h236/huh.jpg" width="245" /></a></div>I thought to myself, you are showing how little you care about seeing me. I know the basics of my cancer, but am lacking the details. I didn't have any information on the chemotherapies they were thinking I should use. I only knew the immunotherapy because my dad was on it (as he is fighting a different type of cancer). I felt like I was out of the loop on my own cancer journey. And it was something that didn't change... since the Onc never called me that night.<p></p><p>I spent the night thinking she would call. When she didn't, I realized that it felt like she lied to me again. She was completely non-invested in me, what was happening to me, and what I needed to do. All of this was proving she was the wrong Onc for me. And I was slightly nervous because this may be the worst time to not have an Oncologist.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCvtaz-cBy_94j1wIH0L08DBGh1WjL60PLeUDyIxKklkyjJcL0Ko4kVi0emZbaWv3BAUUPssSceidyWNEk-11wHc2yKT07AQ0wnHD8K1quN0iItWSLihnEVJnPscBQyYeGje1TPmKXHXcC5ycubHZwXwuQuLyU0Vriz6KbzWuj0RYKblWMXHOzcsLPyyHU/s1620/us.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1620" data-original-width="1620" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCvtaz-cBy_94j1wIH0L08DBGh1WjL60PLeUDyIxKklkyjJcL0Ko4kVi0emZbaWv3BAUUPssSceidyWNEk-11wHc2yKT07AQ0wnHD8K1quN0iItWSLihnEVJnPscBQyYeGje1TPmKXHXcC5ycubHZwXwuQuLyU0Vriz6KbzWuj0RYKblWMXHOzcsLPyyHU/s320/us.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">The Next Day, Thursday</h3>Believe it or not, I did get a call on Thursday morning right as my daughter and I were getting on the plane to come home. It was not the doctor, but a Onc nurse. When I told her I was getting on the plane, she was very rude and I think upset at me because I haven't been easy to reach... I did tell them I was on this trip (and told them before I went too - so they knew). I asked her what the call was for and she asked if I set up the Radiologist Oncologist appointment. I assured her I had, but she had to have the day. I couldn't find it fast on my phone (my daughter literally labeled it "cancer stuff" - ha, funny, but I didn't realize it right away). After that, I only heard from her the next day to hear my Genetic Test were negative (just like 2013... not surprising) and wanting to bump up my Onc appointment date. However, by now, I had already decided... enough was enough. I would find a new Oncologist - and get my butt to MD Anderson. </div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><br /></h4><h4 style="text-align: left;">Blog Post Inspiration:</h4><div><a href="“Hope” is the thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson “Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all - And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard - And sore must be the storm - That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm - I’ve heard it in the chillest land - And on the strangest Sea - Yet - never - in Extremity, It asked a crumb - of me." target="_blank"><i>“Hope” is the thing with feathers</i></a> by Emily Dickinson<div><br /></div><div>“Hope” is the thing with feathers -</div><div>That perches in the soul -</div><div>And sings the tune without the words -</div><div>And never stops - at all -</div><div><br /></div><div>And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -</div><div>And sore must be the storm -</div><div>That could abash the little Bird</div><div>That kept so many warm -</div><div><br /></div><div>I’ve heard it in the chillest land -</div><div>And on the strangest Sea -</div><div>Yet - never - in Extremity,</div><div>It asked a crumb - of me.</div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-78716953620133641312023-09-19T22:39:00.003-05:002023-10-01T23:26:52.347-05:00almost news, with hidden Her2 results<div class="separator">So, I was still waiting on my Her2 results. And on a trip visiting colleges with my daughter. Yesterday, I had a not so awesome conversation with my Oncologist (which was really a <a href="http://www.tatawarrior.com/2023/09/nofuncall.html" target="_blank">sucky conversation</a>). While I set it aside, I realized my Her2 results were really essential in my diagnosis. So, I was ready to find out what type of cancer I had.</div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBgMCM0N4yfNah90Ad3_uN0dRe6sMHvGm2nw5tVBoYt9hdDtLBW4VQctYcwI5LO8Y1FLEjuiQ8wqNVdI_KL5acaCEZnuhE_r9aRtNiRKgYtXtYDatfp6KrynDsgr4hepA56ZpohViQJtUigOyZ-mmN4yJo34b1etRQ3Chv-abqnw25G7cxfDlGlymuvynU/s1068/call%20me.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="929" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBgMCM0N4yfNah90Ad3_uN0dRe6sMHvGm2nw5tVBoYt9hdDtLBW4VQctYcwI5LO8Y1FLEjuiQ8wqNVdI_KL5acaCEZnuhE_r9aRtNiRKgYtXtYDatfp6KrynDsgr4hepA56ZpohViQJtUigOyZ-mmN4yJo34b1etRQ3Chv-abqnw25G7cxfDlGlymuvynU/w248-h286/call%20me.jpg" width="248" /></a></div><p>With no news, all I could do was go on with our trip and spend time with my daughter. Of course, we both were hoping I would get a phone call during the day to let us know the results, but that didn't happen. However, we did not let it bother us. We had multiple schools to see and lots of fun to have.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRvu62J7mYBzCuNiIk2HDMpZdftaEPDBg-Pso5sYnggERdedtwjYsR2PVUy79earYnEgK6FxyVwQqg2FsIC8SimthkfvvBw1ShqWPziH6RL4F-v7bqPRC3dOqBJ9VvTH5qvdWPr_n44YtgpchGMjHiNIoa5VTm6sFoKpJbYozcFxZte-9jD0aSle7A6mrL/s1826/boats.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfwv9n87mKr2SXDUP7mZtb0qmBYB3v2JVpCW2jM-3DyHbQEKHOgmo2sljkYmifMy0JxNnFcQKlOgjUgNNqxzon_phG-CiLVEwLXT2ridUOYtXz_uSAsxHC_3QpVIy-HxpJMTQ9D35nRxN5BLGUPWL9Jwf3LtplMsKlL0vAADAOUTsR2hOxBlLZRVrNh50t/s1206/NYC.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1206" data-original-width="1189" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfwv9n87mKr2SXDUP7mZtb0qmBYB3v2JVpCW2jM-3DyHbQEKHOgmo2sljkYmifMy0JxNnFcQKlOgjUgNNqxzon_phG-CiLVEwLXT2ridUOYtXz_uSAsxHC_3QpVIy-HxpJMTQ9D35nRxN5BLGUPWL9Jwf3LtplMsKlL0vAADAOUTsR2hOxBlLZRVrNh50t/w221-h224/NYC.jpg" width="221" /></a><img border="0" data-original-height="1626" data-original-width="1826" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRvu62J7mYBzCuNiIk2HDMpZdftaEPDBg-Pso5sYnggERdedtwjYsR2PVUy79earYnEgK6FxyVwQqg2FsIC8SimthkfvvBw1ShqWPziH6RL4F-v7bqPRC3dOqBJ9VvTH5qvdWPr_n44YtgpchGMjHiNIoa5VTm6sFoKpJbYozcFxZte-9jD0aSle7A6mrL/w230-h204/boats.jpg" width="230" /> </div><p>From the the beautiful shores of Connecticut to the busy streets of New York City, my daughter and I had a blast! We drove and visited Yale, UConn, NYU, Columbia, Rutgers, and Princeton. Only a few of those colleges were really on her list, but we tried to drive by the others just to see what they were like since we were nearby. Plus, it was a great distraction.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOIZk_JUqIVXgVjbaOCfIORCZ8TOXwqeJUOn6i1_gB0Yow7kAMiyNsLmhJfJ__7lCV0SGdzDSjzaXnln6amia2sFrDjELPesr3GgN_SiYXknABhPl4LS5VrNDzY3htGEOjW5OFHHCi6HADy5Nq8oiAro0Bgo9qQpaXhOS5dPTKZ_KyWoPSCcZ_LHFO99E2/s500/calls.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOIZk_JUqIVXgVjbaOCfIORCZ8TOXwqeJUOn6i1_gB0Yow7kAMiyNsLmhJfJ__7lCV0SGdzDSjzaXnln6amia2sFrDjELPesr3GgN_SiYXknABhPl4LS5VrNDzY3htGEOjW5OFHHCi6HADy5Nq8oiAro0Bgo9qQpaXhOS5dPTKZ_KyWoPSCcZ_LHFO99E2/w198-h198/calls.jpg" width="198" /></a></div><p>Each stop gave me a break and time to check my medical patient portal, looking to see if anything has been updated. I kept thinking it will be up soon, but each time I looked - I kept seeing the same cancer diagnosis. Each glance left without any clarification on if I am Her2+ or Her2-. It was stressful, and there was nothing I could do.</p><p>After a busy day, we arrived at the hotel and got settled in. I happened to look at my medical patient port website for like the billionth time. I saw there was an addendum on my Pathology report. I clicked it. I waited.</p><p>My results were up - but I couldn't see them. While my portal lets me access my records, the Pathology section has been giving Error messages for weeks. I had sent the hospital a complaint - asking for it to be fixed - but I am anxiously realizing it is still not working.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSrDvuxGxJ8JVbohU9TGOKeYLwPjxTRLtmZECeBasavrKl-o2H1HFjIAzHwuYYphkzygrgp0cZtft9yKcXyUTlydIqL29FAqjvuejY9KTLRFIfQWuKBqOKHF3CMYJ9Zv6fOurctyYAmmRPoiBIIYeKQKU_7mKN8tSVlSSAAFyUexNKCYo7Qh2YSfjJEBJP/s1080/qu.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSrDvuxGxJ8JVbohU9TGOKeYLwPjxTRLtmZECeBasavrKl-o2H1HFjIAzHwuYYphkzygrgp0cZtft9yKcXyUTlydIqL29FAqjvuejY9KTLRFIfQWuKBqOKHF3CMYJ9Zv6fOurctyYAmmRPoiBIIYeKQKU_7mKN8tSVlSSAAFyUexNKCYo7Qh2YSfjJEBJP/w248-h248/qu.jpg" width="248" /></a></div><h2 style="text-align: left;">Time for the Answer</h2><p></p><p>I realize it is now 4:50 pm in Alabama, so I have to call now! It was so close to the doctor's office closing, I knew I would be lucky to get the results now. In a panic - I started calling my doctors. I even had my daughter trying to get through to the doctors and the hospital where I had the biopsy done.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;">1st Up </h3><p style="text-align: left;">I called my Onc... guess what? My Onc was out of town and her nurses had already left for the day! It was almost comical... but it was also not funny. I have had such a bad overall experience with this Onc - it was just adding to the frustration. I left a detailed message... and realized it took too much time.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;">2nd Up</h3><p>I called my Primary... guess what? The nurses were already gone for the day too because it is now 4:58 pm. So, I left a detailed message. Ugh!</p><p>So, I will have to wait until tomorrow to find out what my results are... even though the answer is hidden behind a giant Error message. With nothing left to do, my daughter and I decided we would go get dinner and enjoy the beauty that Princeton, NJ had to offer. </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-mvW4QhCsEX4pBpopaXpIZtxwpcz1k7IvIS4xhziSdTd1688VaBXH4GPbBHRY_iBZ47D-XaIENuz2OCCK57y0WvUBSFbMi-7KQsk8kro_47MxmWNBdpgfR8jGJfgh1t_T642StWf5swPSWC3bYN8ruf3puqEnbDkOrrWCw5cX_g2YxVAod94OUUX3ugfd/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(6).jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-mvW4QhCsEX4pBpopaXpIZtxwpcz1k7IvIS4xhziSdTd1688VaBXH4GPbBHRY_iBZ47D-XaIENuz2OCCK57y0WvUBSFbMi-7KQsk8kro_47MxmWNBdpgfR8jGJfgh1t_T642StWf5swPSWC3bYN8ruf3puqEnbDkOrrWCw5cX_g2YxVAod94OUUX3ugfd/s320/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(6).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sometimes You have to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVVTZgwYwVo" target="_blank">Let it Go</a> from Frozen!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-18386988019391564972023-09-18T20:00:00.006-05:002023-09-30T00:55:23.604-05:00uncomfortable Oncologist call<h4 style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #ff00fe;">On an Adventure</span></h4><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_W9n-fzqW416aZVuZUoA1PSv9glzsSH-IUYZFgl9ZG4ZSRbbPByoNwToPVda3A8El2OFNzaHa8Tc_8bQrU2u6SFtg-uD_QHjUKNMhzKiC9nCmFnxcjNgrYefpR3oL9u3quWKqRoBkArFxPurmvj2yiScVbi2aPM7aenB443nV_cWEaRTtKpbp7Sb68Icv/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(2).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_W9n-fzqW416aZVuZUoA1PSv9glzsSH-IUYZFgl9ZG4ZSRbbPByoNwToPVda3A8El2OFNzaHa8Tc_8bQrU2u6SFtg-uD_QHjUKNMhzKiC9nCmFnxcjNgrYefpR3oL9u3quWKqRoBkArFxPurmvj2yiScVbi2aPM7aenB443nV_cWEaRTtKpbp7Sb68Icv/w191-h191/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(2).jpg" width="191" /></a></div>With no news from the doctor, I was off on a completely different type of adventure. I got on an airplane with my daughter to go visit a few colleges in the Northeast. I had planned this months ago.<div><br /><div>With no Her2 results back yet, there is nothing I can do. I could sit around and wait or I could take a few days with my daughter to tour schools and have a little fun. It wasn't a hard choice.</div><div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrkt9ObW4TQ6M7P07LLgPZjL8UXSzRn2Vbw9OEtKSWeiqyugDJE2Vg3Vzj0l00U2hkYMBH3RLfvzbM-8NaWbNlsxsyirBK0RXIcmQRT-1e8Qz0l75Uw4hc9X9wCGkHRBpMGNML-PB3mr4fOgtmbSyHK9y6PFTal_82TOSsq3Fmcws9YpQBbtrrFDZ7liMp/s2160/AirBrush_20230918083613.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1626" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrkt9ObW4TQ6M7P07LLgPZjL8UXSzRn2Vbw9OEtKSWeiqyugDJE2Vg3Vzj0l00U2hkYMBH3RLfvzbM-8NaWbNlsxsyirBK0RXIcmQRT-1e8Qz0l75Uw4hc9X9wCGkHRBpMGNML-PB3mr4fOgtmbSyHK9y6PFTal_82TOSsq3Fmcws9YpQBbtrrFDZ7liMp/w193-h256/AirBrush_20230918083613.jpg" width="193" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We are outta here!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /></div><div>We got up early and had a crazy busy day:<br /><br />5am - Drive 2 hours to Nashville Airport</div><div>10am - Fly 2-3 hours to LaGuardia Airport</div><div>2pm - Drive 4 hours (traffic) to Harford, Connecticut</div><div>6pm - Arrive at the hotel (pretty tired)</div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #ff00fe;">Oncologist Finally Calls</span></h3><div>And then at 6:30pm, I finally got the call from my Oncologist. I had been waiting for someone to call since my MRI results had been released over 2 days ago. It felt like is was past time to hear from someone. I was surprised, not surprised! The conversation was a bit awkward.</div><div><br /></div><div>Here is basically how the first conversation went after we both said hello to the other <i><b>(enjoy the paraphrasing which gives you more on the context than what we exactly said to eachother)</b></i>:</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfhXYcgo4ztUw71-BlvOmTBw_bhMwDcCJ8hw3MltwtxgT87hs4XZO9Ts1G40Kkz787J_-lc2h7jXFzbjzLuwNtpN1JJlmmLNznIug6ezgkq-UTQv5aRotSem7JuJzTr2erERIdDSDQTBrKiiRhvwD3vAoZGw-DfkRjVn-DR79lfxCu1qGSj2QosiuAflAK/s1080/Upset.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="745" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfhXYcgo4ztUw71-BlvOmTBw_bhMwDcCJ8hw3MltwtxgT87hs4XZO9Ts1G40Kkz787J_-lc2h7jXFzbjzLuwNtpN1JJlmmLNznIug6ezgkq-UTQv5aRotSem7JuJzTr2erERIdDSDQTBrKiiRhvwD3vAoZGw-DfkRjVn-DR79lfxCu1qGSj2QosiuAflAK/s320/Upset.jpg" width="221" /></a></div>Her: "So, did you see the MRI results are up?"</div><div>Me: "Yes, I did."</div><div>Her: "Do you have any questions?"</div><div>Me: (thoughts)<i> Are you kidding me? Yes, duh! You throw it back on me to ask questions and are not telling me anything. Just vague BS.</i></div><div>Me: "Yes, it looked bad."</div><div>Her: "Yes, it did."</div><div>Me: (thoughts) <i>WTF?!? Did she just say that. And she still hasn't told me anything. I guess this whole conversation is on me to lead. </i></div><div>Me: "It looks like it is very aggressive. Maybe, you can explain to me what you see."</div><div><br /></div><div>At this point, she basically reads the results paragraph directly off the MRI to me - I already saw it days ago, I already know what she is telling me. We go back and forth. And I feel like I am pulling teeth,</div><div><br /></div><div>After I mention how lucky I am to have found this and that it was challenging to get the diagnosis, she gives the closest thing to an apology I am going to get from her, "The biopsy issue was a learning curve for me. I did not realize biopsies are not done on Friday afternoon at the Breast Center. We were just trying to get you in at the earliest appointment time."</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZgmEMCshba2eXCO9UA7_l7d6RBVWbtBZgHYtsx_ULQKtyYUh5wOzrjSWrKmBJF4Z9Nu5EjIQGy5cwB-1eq8ke5ioJgFFQD3cTLhbVqhYGt_o3Yn_cncqE8UTOZ4okwCdijyEZVEJyXlqy0YCLQdMT4fuP2Eu6oINw2CEk2b_IjluHXUxW9biQQFy2u2up/s1080/frustrated.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZgmEMCshba2eXCO9UA7_l7d6RBVWbtBZgHYtsx_ULQKtyYUh5wOzrjSWrKmBJF4Z9Nu5EjIQGy5cwB-1eq8ke5ioJgFFQD3cTLhbVqhYGt_o3Yn_cncqE8UTOZ4okwCdijyEZVEJyXlqy0YCLQdMT4fuP2Eu6oINw2CEk2b_IjluHXUxW9biQQFy2u2up/w199-h199/frustrated.jpg" width="199" /></a></div>Me: (thoughts) <i>It sounds like lame excuses and no apology... your learning curve should have been during your first year working at the cancer center and not after 21+ years you have as a doctor (and the majority of it locally). Now, I am insulted even more. This is not close to an apology or affirming that I have been fighting hard for my own health. And without it, my chances of surviving would be minimal.</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Her: "I, and a few nurses, have been reaching out to the pathology group to check to see if your Her2 results are ready. They aren't. I have told them it is urgent. I looked right before I called you, and they are still not ready."</div><div>Me: "I am actually surprised you called me. I thought you might wait until the Her2 results were back and wait to call me until you had both the MRI and Her2 results." </div><div>Me: (thoughts) <i>I am being sarcastic because of course she should call me with the MRI results; she should have called me on Friday night.</i></div><div>Her: "I was considering doing that." pause "Then I thought I should call since you may have seen the MRI results."</div><div>Me; (thoughts) <i>Holy crap! This is bad... she would have waited even longer to tell me some of my results. I don't think this is the right Oncologist for me, but I feel pressured to stay due to not having a lot of time.</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Since I feel trapped, I asked a few basic questions about what type of treatment I might have to take if I am Her2+ or Her2- or Triple Negative. She gives me a brief explanation, but uses a ton of acronyms like I know what they are. At this point, I am feeling like I am pretty done with this conversation. She isn't really giving me too much and we don't know what we are fully dealing with. What we do know is that this cancer is spreading fast and the longer we wait the worse it will be.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkRYJ7tx_qxb6WkP_sEQwz1LMa4pO3-2Nm5prGHiCDbleVYnY4t9EsABECV62T1OuA5mxNOENNAqCbnJnLbH67QYuk3py-13YiRztUnUpzeX9Jj5gA_BmC14UvE5soO7BD4x4wp73ZUf_YB6jqyA9FYZc1udWQpFGTo40FIDKJ0vAwx_xw5YlIbJoE2-Z3/s932/what.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="565" data-original-width="932" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkRYJ7tx_qxb6WkP_sEQwz1LMa4pO3-2Nm5prGHiCDbleVYnY4t9EsABECV62T1OuA5mxNOENNAqCbnJnLbH67QYuk3py-13YiRztUnUpzeX9Jj5gA_BmC14UvE5soO7BD4x4wp73ZUf_YB6jqyA9FYZc1udWQpFGTo40FIDKJ0vAwx_xw5YlIbJoE2-Z3/w280-h170/what.jpg" width="280" /></a></div>Her: "They should have your Her2 results back by Friday and you have an appointment with the Breast Surgeon. He can go over them with you then."<br /></div><div>Me: (thoughts) <i>Say what? Are you kidding me? It is Monday... I see him Friday. I would think they should be in before then. Aren't you going to call me back with the results? Plus, a Breast Surgeon only deals with surgery... he doesn't lead my treatment plan and isn't my Oncologist... I should see you first... and my appointment with the you is two weeks away.</i></div><div>Me: "Ok. I guess. I do want you to call me as soon as the Her2 results get back."</div><div>Her: "Hopefully, the results will be in soon. I did notice your appointment with me is scheduled pretty far out. We can keep it like that for now and always change it."</div><div>Me: (thoughts) <i>WTF?!?! You don't even want to see me on Friday when I get back. I am seeing my Primary Doctor and the Breast Surgeon, but you aren't even concerned about seeing me! You should be the first face I see!</i></div><div><i><br /></i><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-style: italic; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAgTrWQMYDfsMDrvxCy-Pw4HUKVXA8bUMuSGxgJ869v74yWFHJbbSdkSyC_w9Tfq62JKTtKJy4qmhiRHAB0SOslLctltQ5mZWX7mW706Ex1PmOMpxoElJ-6pBhN9dsTu6-D___hbnSo1GpK6fwUpsiP9OgT-dZZxOVtqxI6nAJNriSsRz_07G0dS2OEMr0/s4032/MVIMG_20210308_114434.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAgTrWQMYDfsMDrvxCy-Pw4HUKVXA8bUMuSGxgJ869v74yWFHJbbSdkSyC_w9Tfq62JKTtKJy4qmhiRHAB0SOslLctltQ5mZWX7mW706Ex1PmOMpxoElJ-6pBhN9dsTu6-D___hbnSo1GpK6fwUpsiP9OgT-dZZxOVtqxI6nAJNriSsRz_07G0dS2OEMr0/s320/MVIMG_20210308_114434.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>I am literally feeling shocked and realized this is not the type of Oncologist I want. It feels like she has her feeling hurt because I asked questions, had the PET testing done before she wanted and at different places than she wanted. And she - and all the doctors were wrong - I do have breast cancer. I had her telling me it didn't look like cancer and the Radiologist telling me it did not present like breast cancer. They were both wrong... they both wanted me to wait... both too set in following a standard protocol verses treating the patient. Or even listening to the patient. </div><div>Me: "Ok." (dumbfounded)</div><div><br /></div><div>I re-remind her that I am with my daughter for the next few days, but I would like to be contacted once the Her2 comes in. She assures me she will notify me of the Her2 results and we can then discuss the treatment plan more specifically. I am thinking, we are sorta leaving it on a good note. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjucBXMP5kWJCi_hBN1mYARVPH99TYArCD8QVCa20j60-wC2V2-0JnjYivogTsP9P5mecgrOxDJeqi4g1bqSninTENlvzNhjck2cr_hGqwv-5gOwwO0FhvvJNW25PlKXUCFocHT8fbRYZUoo3HomUX6fkomYjTXzPNKJ_34blNIGmHJMFtmo1kseZ-57Q6j/s1080/Upset%202.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjucBXMP5kWJCi_hBN1mYARVPH99TYArCD8QVCa20j60-wC2V2-0JnjYivogTsP9P5mecgrOxDJeqi4g1bqSninTENlvzNhjck2cr_hGqwv-5gOwwO0FhvvJNW25PlKXUCFocHT8fbRYZUoo3HomUX6fkomYjTXzPNKJ_34blNIGmHJMFtmo1kseZ-57Q6j/w252-h252/Upset%202.jpg" width="252" /></a></div>Then, <b>she pauses and said to me, "Well, are you going to use me as your doctor or not?"</b></div><div><br /></div><div>I was taken of guard and never had a doctor talk like that and in that tone to me. It was off-puting.</div><div>I did have a response: </div><div>"I am very unhappy about the way things have gone. I really felt like that no one was listening to me and it caused a lot of stress and frustration. With the diagnosis I have and it spreading so fast, I don't feel like I have time to find another Oncologist. But, I don't know what I am going to do. I have contacted MD Anderson and am going to go there to get at least a second opinion. So, I definitely need them to get my records and things from you. I feel kind of stuck right now which is frustrating."</div><div><br /></div><div>She basically says, "Alright. I will call you with your Her2 results and we can talk about it then."</div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #ff00fe;">Thank Goodness that is Over</span></h3><div>We end the conversation. Everything around me feels awkward. I look at my daughter who is in the hotel room with me. She heard the conversation and gave me the look like that was not fun... that was the opposite of fun. Then we took a few minutes to talk about how crazy that conversation went.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgbN6Sb2AZ5J36VYPAq7FLr7I-AkipquZMGy4YAVRbYJ8wVwlx9roXisUzvkJw-8OVRdV1czMiaEa1gj8iRcf67xNrUKypVQQgu7jQQdxVBc9LqcEN4Rzn9rKpkNyXq02AU5MkTB88PBPk5iMpyhRqyoAD3sEg-ZOMlIpWFnI04gORTyNJukuYYRuMBKEO/s2160/AirBrush_20230918192051.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1620" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgbN6Sb2AZ5J36VYPAq7FLr7I-AkipquZMGy4YAVRbYJ8wVwlx9roXisUzvkJw-8OVRdV1czMiaEa1gj8iRcf67xNrUKypVQQgu7jQQdxVBc9LqcEN4Rzn9rKpkNyXq02AU5MkTB88PBPk5iMpyhRqyoAD3sEg-ZOMlIpWFnI04gORTyNJukuYYRuMBKEO/w180-h240/AirBrush_20230918192051.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>A lot lingers on the very very important Her2 results to get back - they are the missing link to figuring out what type of treatment I need. But, for this moment... I am exhausted from the travel and exhausted from the conversation with the Oncologist. I continue to not feel heard or supported or even as if she cared. And this is a huge problem. I am not even sure I have time to find another Oncologist, but I am pretty sure I need to find another one. </div><div><br /></div><div>Guess I will have to find time because it is very important that you feel heard. And there is nothing wrong with speaking up and advocating for yourself!!! It is hard. No one wants to do it. Confrontation sucks. My goal is to do it in the most respectful way.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>Now I am going to go have a great time with my lovely daughter. We are enjoying the brisk fall weather while looking at a few colleges over the next few days!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;">Inspiration Song, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvlTJrNJ5lA" target="_blank">I Won't Back Down</a> by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-23595700092586598292023-09-15T22:37:00.062-05:002023-09-29T00:18:15.936-05:00the MRI results are back<div>I had my MRI earlier today, but I wasn't positive if the results would come back the same day (Friday) or after the weekend (Monday). I knew "urgent" & "rush" notations were at the top of my doctor's orders. And those words generally make test results happen faster.</div><div><br /></div><div>Surprisingly, the results were up before doctor's offices closed. I could see that the MRI report had been added to my patient portal which also meant it had been sent to the Oncologist too. I quickly opened the results and began scanning the words. I have read a number of these over the years so I knew where to look to see if anything changed or looked the same.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then my jaw dropped...</div><h2 style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFn3jsE6cjove9gpYId7bPPowprBC572p6k8RnCEqotcIuroIiMkKQPxjt2bd0jnVuYKjcTowUCPb1P5g7eyQHd8fRuuTnCuuloQoSPtJoth5cJ0sCc-WfUI56fvQ6wd1IGZMiq90mJYBt4WlDzPQC-1mANztuOxoF7AQ9KiAxM4f7-7f1cTNEPLC_qnZX/s1080/sucks.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="772" data-original-width="1080" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFn3jsE6cjove9gpYId7bPPowprBC572p6k8RnCEqotcIuroIiMkKQPxjt2bd0jnVuYKjcTowUCPb1P5g7eyQHd8fRuuTnCuuloQoSPtJoth5cJ0sCc-WfUI56fvQ6wd1IGZMiq90mJYBt4WlDzPQC-1mANztuOxoF7AQ9KiAxM4f7-7f1cTNEPLC_qnZX/w253-h181/sucks.jpg" width="253" /></a></div>MRI Results</h2><div>"<span style="color: red;">Numerous (at least 10) left axillary lymph nodes</span> are morphologically abnormal with the majority at least moderately enlarged. The <span style="color: red;">axillary lymphadenopathy has noticeably increased </span>in the interval since the CT chest acquired last month. The biopsied enlarged lymph node measures <span style="color: red;">2.1 cm</span> in craniocaudal dimension, having <span style="color: red;">previously measured 1.6 cm.</span> An adjacent circumscribed lymph node which <span style="color: red;">previously measured 0.9 cm</span> now measures <span style="color: red;">1.3 cm</span> in short axis. An <span style="color: red;">even more medially positioned 1.8 cm lymph node</span> was not clearly evident on the prior study. <span style="color: red;">No distinct morphologically suspicious internal mammary lymph nodes</span> are evident."</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlG_GTVGbTK3hhevWwJ46qxYl0vyfNm0CRByMAPpExUGmL4lumwT8zaHEKEPal3T8n3Z8gVzMlvvpIXXbzn4DUqC2D_g1RnB5oXh72CC_vfJ-rtIVkH3a7mjNLfq6j87iasOKWCnzkyxOtWu4PPFpbDpU8mgpGG1fAClS2cU4Z1Z6QACmPIHqIiFBWyDuz/s661/curse2.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="641" data-original-width="661" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlG_GTVGbTK3hhevWwJ46qxYl0vyfNm0CRByMAPpExUGmL4lumwT8zaHEKEPal3T8n3Z8gVzMlvvpIXXbzn4DUqC2D_g1RnB5oXh72CC_vfJ-rtIVkH3a7mjNLfq6j87iasOKWCnzkyxOtWu4PPFpbDpU8mgpGG1fAClS2cU4Z1Z6QACmPIHqIiFBWyDuz/w182-h176/curse2.jpg" width="182" /></a></div>Basically, in a short amount of time (only a few weeks) - </div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Cancer has spread in my lymph nodes. </li><li>Cancerous lymph nodes have grown even bigger. </li><li>There is NO mass in my breast. </li><li>Not a Good Report.</li></ul></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh72RrWqaobnswSbSQJgTh3E7wdV-j9zvwt_eIUTzKsNap5vIRDfyIlpsDP7rYv35CxE4VPFGq1J4SoUtc8a-tvrN4M5BpZ-kQSsCY8IBFMoSa8L_gXY6RTtvxZsz-quPghgVWwmAdNmvMDZdKjjTGD_3CilV5zt27FaiHDbQfth3hM20KrI1oai18EMbFd/s2160/AirBrush_20230915144715.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1620" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh72RrWqaobnswSbSQJgTh3E7wdV-j9zvwt_eIUTzKsNap5vIRDfyIlpsDP7rYv35CxE4VPFGq1J4SoUtc8a-tvrN4M5BpZ-kQSsCY8IBFMoSa8L_gXY6RTtvxZsz-quPghgVWwmAdNmvMDZdKjjTGD_3CilV5zt27FaiHDbQfth3hM20KrI1oai18EMbFd/w195-h261/AirBrush_20230915144715.jpg" width="195" /></a></div>I was hopefully that my Oncologist would call to discuss these results with me, but it was Friday at closing time, so instead of getting a call I was left to think about these results with no input or medical interpretation. I wondered why she put a rush order on them to not rush to read them and then rush my way to follow up with me instead of leaving me thinking about how bad it looks. So, I was on my own (again - this cancer journey has been very challenging to get my Oncologist to be responsive or even listen to me). </div><div><br /></div><div>I did realize that the results were so obviously different that anyone who can read my results would know it wasn't good news. Sadly, I wouldn't hear from my Oncologist until late Monday night. But, that is another story!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;">Inspirational Poem: <a href="https://www.yourdailypoem.com/listpoem.jsp?poem_id=1820" target="_blank"><i>Keep Going</i> by Edgar Guest</a></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>(see below if you don't want to click link)</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA7TaSCS6e2yAS_3wIb193738Kz2XdVSU9_5VQcwTo655mm_6EhR1cBNnRg3ZsOPW_7d9-Mwb6lWX1shcSmoxOLRQxp9VJcFVDUzXmrnuecDTKdtrX9GELRX6l4eXQ1xz-1_HeEa32fjX-VTo31rbmKEUUj4v46CB45vfNvykT5OazrgHyLJ4EAbwNckOa/s1280/line%20divider.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="199" data-original-width="1280" height="79" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA7TaSCS6e2yAS_3wIb193738Kz2XdVSU9_5VQcwTo655mm_6EhR1cBNnRg3ZsOPW_7d9-Mwb6lWX1shcSmoxOLRQxp9VJcFVDUzXmrnuecDTKdtrX9GELRX6l4eXQ1xz-1_HeEa32fjX-VTo31rbmKEUUj4v46CB45vfNvykT5OazrgHyLJ4EAbwNckOa/w507-h79/line%20divider.jpg" width="507" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Keep Going</h3><div><div>by Edgar Guest</div><div><br /></div><div>When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,</div><div>And the road you're trudging seems all uphill,</div><div>When the funds are low and the debts are high,</div><div>And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,</div><div>When care is pressing you down a bit,</div><div>Rest if you must, but don't you quit.</div><div><br /></div><div>Life is queer with its twists and turns,</div><div>As every one of us sometimes learns.</div><div>And many a failure turns about</div><div>When he might have won had he stuck it out.</div><div>Don't give up though the pace seems slow,</div><div>You may succeed with another blow.</div><div><br /></div><div>Often the goal is nearer than it seems</div><div>To a faint and faltering man.</div><div>Often the struggler has given up when he</div><div>Might have captured the victor's cup,</div><div>And he learned too late when the night slipped down,</div><div>How close he was to the golden crown.</div><div><br /></div><div>Success is failure turned inside out,</div><div>The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,</div><div>And you never can tell how close you are.</div><div>It may be near when it seems afar.</div><div>So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit.</div><div>It's when things seem worst that</div><div>You musn’t quit.</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-5859558521431079172023-09-15T19:56:00.006-05:002023-09-22T22:15:52.330-05:00breast MRI (aka: the downward dog style dangling boob adventure)<h2 style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="color: #04ff00;">Finally, it's MRI time!</span></b></h2><p>By the end of the week, I was finally getting my MRI. This test is the one I feel like will give me a better, and more detailed, glimpse into what is going on with my lymph nodes. It will also show if there is some missed lump lingering within the tissue of my boobs.</p><p>It has been a while, but I completely remember how the breast MRI goes. It is one of those test that linger in your mind because they are so awkward, and for me, funny. If you read <a href="http://www.tatawarrior.com/2013/05/mri-is-it-almost-over.html" target="_blank">my posts back in 2013</a>, the MRI process hasn't changed. <b>And I came in ready to "moo" some humor for the nurses (just keep reading).</b></p><p>Here is the Standard (& Somewhat Boring) MRI with Contrast Process</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Fill out Paperwork</li><li>Changed into gown</li><li>Wait a Little</li><li>Nurse starts an IV (for me, it can only be in my left arm due to Lymphedema)</li><li>Placed on MRI table (face down, face & ankles supported by pillows, & given headphones with music - sometimes ear plugs too)</li><li>MRI table goes into MRI machine</li><li>Have the MRI</li><ul><li>clank, bang, alarm, boom (Super Noisy)</li><li>headache inducing beating sounds blaring above the 80s headphone music (Did I mention Super Noisy?)</li><li>hold breath for a bit or two</li></ul><li>MRI comes out of MRI machine</li><li>Get off MRI table (Carefully)</li><li>Change back into clothes</li><li>Leave</li></ul><p></p><p>Those things are the basic steps of any MRI (with contrast), but the breast MRI has it's own uniqueness. Of course, the main thing is that your breasts are going to be out and hanging. You do not lay on your back. You get to be breast down! It gets good...</p><p><b></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkgovMkKarQYAiDNoTK-Poh7H2lT949F34UonLjnHm3GT40JpPe6XAvbhhHvt23vTOiTcI3d2BRI4yaernwHkA_zbMA7Q2j4qy-eGghztksYqmzjMpWKvMbvIUXqCwSZBeLFZv6cVV7MbcIHXFZDzfZrcsmHoWfJEIThMuA2iM-p_vqES5Tm6qHjc8Cm4-/s1000/yoga.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="773" data-original-width="1000" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkgovMkKarQYAiDNoTK-Poh7H2lT949F34UonLjnHm3GT40JpPe6XAvbhhHvt23vTOiTcI3d2BRI4yaernwHkA_zbMA7Q2j4qy-eGghztksYqmzjMpWKvMbvIUXqCwSZBeLFZv6cVV7MbcIHXFZDzfZrcsmHoWfJEIThMuA2iM-p_vqES5Tm6qHjc8Cm4-/w236-h182/yoga.jpg" width="236" /></a></b></div><b>You lay on your stomach in a downward dog style position while your breasts dangle between two holes exposed while your face is pressed into a massage type round cushion.</b><p></p><p>Basically, your boobs literally hang and as the table lifts and glides into the MRI machine, so do the swinging breasts attached to your body. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieKAlF6wGE0meBjRpSiGDEI34UQ_eNFWwB5oxJWF-od9bGCqLRYOtlwLUgqqwuq5iAVUawx5s8xGRw6dYoduiG3Hdg6dEcr2nP9-KxEq85Vw8OvZ2XEu6qoVUqFg8-_EqYcp-lRCJo2exlBSKFUr2NLkL-9Ywqf-Dl_PMxdX0gn83ZjTXOuZQZZrl2GhtS/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(6).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieKAlF6wGE0meBjRpSiGDEI34UQ_eNFWwB5oxJWF-od9bGCqLRYOtlwLUgqqwuq5iAVUawx5s8xGRw6dYoduiG3Hdg6dEcr2nP9-KxEq85Vw8OvZ2XEu6qoVUqFg8-_EqYcp-lRCJo2exlBSKFUr2NLkL-9Ywqf-Dl_PMxdX0gn83ZjTXOuZQZZrl2GhtS/w228-h228/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(6).jpg" width="228" /></a></div>And if needed, the nurses will adjust your breasts like a milk cow. So, if you have a great sense of humor like me... you have to say "moo" when they do!<p></p><p></p><p><b>Tests don't have to be all bad - you can make them fun - even these very awkward testing moments!</b></p><p>I will say out of all the scans MRIs are slightly long and very annoying. However, they have been one of the most accurate tests I have had.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #04ff00;">In My Head...</span></h4><p>I did have one of those moments where you think back and realize a moment you wish you had responded or could have used as a teachable moment. Here is one for all the nurses out there. When I mentioned I was still waiting on my Her2 results and said I was either Triple Negative or Her2+ Breast Cancer the nurse got a very upset face and said, "Don't say Triple Negative around here, we don't want to hear those words. That is not the kind of cancer we like here." This might be a bad idea to express so openly... just in case a person ends up with Triple Negative. I did say upfront that I might be Triple Negative, so I have the possibility that it is my cancer type (and I actually found out soon after I am Triple Negative). She didn't mean it badly, but I thought - yikes, that is not reassuring.</p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: right;">In Honor of the Breast MRI Position</p><p style="text-align: right;">This is a Post with the Most - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EC7RGJ975iM" target="_blank">Learn How to Do a Downward Dog</a></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.71289127.958111319774268 -130.869141 46.222368680225735 -60.556640999999992tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-9795731089736595962023-09-11T20:30:00.006-05:002023-09-22T21:07:26.554-05:00blood, sweat, & money<p>This past week was going to be busy, but I know it is just the start of what is to come. </p><h3 style="text-align: left;">First up - Genetic Testing</h3><p>I had genetic testing done with my first go round with cancer in 2013. At that time, my BRCA (genetic testing to see if you have a greater chance for hereditary breast and ovarian cancer) came back negative. I suspect it will be negative again. (Addendum - my tests did come back negative again.)</p><p>When I was 38, I signed a bunch of forms allowing the company who would process my test the ability to used my information for research and got the test at a discounted rate. So, I have a vague memory that it was expensive... it has been a long time... so a very distant vague memory... but it was in the thousands.</p><p><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSJ15yBc7EhZQm4gXBzCO-qOegbVhnhaOy1YxLTpW9Mlt3333cNX7NCW0f_K5q3Lp8Qvh6ESPymb6Z8BcG0K3D6QbxveNiJwiI6a-J5_ruOBVqQdvzcg9ryPLCvTFSD7P_1zQ-l0ro2ynNFbgHf2dtrapeWOKXIz2yU6G0ujze4MNULikMdiEJa9jdhllM/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(5).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSJ15yBc7EhZQm4gXBzCO-qOegbVhnhaOy1YxLTpW9Mlt3333cNX7NCW0f_K5q3Lp8Qvh6ESPymb6Z8BcG0K3D6QbxveNiJwiI6a-J5_ruOBVqQdvzcg9ryPLCvTFSD7P_1zQ-l0ro2ynNFbgHf2dtrapeWOKXIz2yU6G0ujze4MNULikMdiEJa9jdhllM/w176-h176/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(5).jpg" width="176" /></a></i></div><i><span style="color: #cc0000;">And let's be honest - I tested negative for BRCA in 2013 and I am dealing with a whole new cancer in 2023. Tests are not always 100% right. </span></i><p></p><p>Now of course, my cancer is a new primary cancer so all the testing feels somewhat irrelevant. Right? Or at least, I do not feel super secure with whatever results I get back now. I guess that makes it one test I don't mind having to wait on the results. Or a test I wonder why I need again?</p><p>I guess I was somewhat surprised that the Oncologist wanted to do the testing again. She said the testing has changed some in 10 years, and it tested for additional genetic issues and markers (and I think mainly to see if I am going to make it another 10 years... ha!).</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPuwhsiFMjQYpTA5nddQazuczw4hom_jHwybhiz2hBL2juNlx_BEiUfSHEpGZEPpw1MyEiVfei4DZzDWJimRy8K_VQI4ULRXiWd9kVZIuBYCaUCrDFm0Ls0BPuckbif9yYuQRPMkIqTc_X8fMVLOR1ywQswKcICztvnZj_dWPmF2skQNh-0g5-BqcUSKuy/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(2).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPuwhsiFMjQYpTA5nddQazuczw4hom_jHwybhiz2hBL2juNlx_BEiUfSHEpGZEPpw1MyEiVfei4DZzDWJimRy8K_VQI4ULRXiWd9kVZIuBYCaUCrDFm0Ls0BPuckbif9yYuQRPMkIqTc_X8fMVLOR1ywQswKcICztvnZj_dWPmF2skQNh-0g5-BqcUSKuy/w213-h213/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(2).jpg" width="213" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Another Day, Another Vein</h3><div>I went at the beginning of the week to get my blood taken for the test. I was slightly apprehensive - not because of the needles & not because of the test results, but because no one seemed to have the answers of how expensive this was going to be.<p></p><p>I never got a call from the Oncologist's billing department to give me the heads up that my insurance was going cover this or a warning on if they were or were not going to cover the testing or even give me an estimated cost. </p><p>Once again, I find myself in the position to ask questions and do some self advocacy. I feel bad that I even need to ask questions to the nurse, but she was the first person I saw. Unfortunately, I had to have a pretty head strong conversation to the before she took my blood. I was not rude, more explaining why I was not sure I wanted to take this test. (And of course, this is a conversation I should be having with my Onc - not the nurse - but that would mean the Onc would have met with me... which hasn't happened.) </p><p>I made sure to relay that I was not wanting to take this test again if it was going to be over a few hundred dollars (out of pocket for me). Or at least, if it is going to be ridiculously expensive, I need to know how much so I could have the option to decide if I want to do the test or not. And this is even more my thoughts, since I don't even put a huge amount of belief in the results (considering they didn't really ring true for me in 2013... here I am with cancer again). I got a bunch of avoidance and placating answers - so, I am putting faith in my doctor's office... but now I think I have lost my mind trusting them. There is one thing that I am realizing, I have lost a lot of faith in my current Oncology group!</p><p>In the end of the brief visit, she got multiple vials of blood - for genetic testing and standard blood tests. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwOtEEneDxNx1UB3c8xtIr_5dChi1ISzRNR_6o9WS2vzB0ONe0ENMad6fcDN8xMwB56p9xNvAJ4i6VWMmEY8Gvce7j-2RpYKPujgCadoQ33o-v7gqj5LIMmkcGwXedQ3cBqQOCsZl0NvrTIiT0_ugFuL79R5GRk_djoB0DVC5TTjG4YNjVflUGpNUAh3lu/s1080/wait.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="458" data-original-width="1080" height="136" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwOtEEneDxNx1UB3c8xtIr_5dChi1ISzRNR_6o9WS2vzB0ONe0ENMad6fcDN8xMwB56p9xNvAJ4i6VWMmEY8Gvce7j-2RpYKPujgCadoQ33o-v7gqj5LIMmkcGwXedQ3cBqQOCsZl0NvrTIiT0_ugFuL79R5GRk_djoB0DVC5TTjG4YNjVflUGpNUAh3lu/s320/wait.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: center;"><b>In typical breast cancer fashion, it's time for the go - stop - wait for test results - go again game.</b> </p><p>Cancer is full of stop-go type of situations and testing. Now, I have another lingering test result to wait on that they say will help determine what they are going to do. And while I guess this one is necessary, it seems more like a big unnecessary money pit test. If it was my first time taking this test I would think it was essential. Now, it just seems like a waste of time (and money) because the first test gave them an answer... and despite the answer saying I did not have the BRCA gene I am still here for cancer round 2.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHnWW45ALplEuoYf9tzcmv8ig4CusRn2sba3e7lGnknSbjvAGeXAzl21jJA4f5wJQXaKUFzZ7mx6yGmhxKg7vc9ZkJmRNztSHatuvm8DlWx0IFE2KcGNqdfXxeg-vk8kbfGRLatcrwFdRf7lzhQgBoU4qAc0Ob8fARqasoyLeEjnUqPt87YQiVAMXjQ33q/s583/power.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="583" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHnWW45ALplEuoYf9tzcmv8ig4CusRn2sba3e7lGnknSbjvAGeXAzl21jJA4f5wJQXaKUFzZ7mx6yGmhxKg7vc9ZkJmRNztSHatuvm8DlWx0IFE2KcGNqdfXxeg-vk8kbfGRLatcrwFdRf7lzhQgBoU4qAc0Ob8fARqasoyLeEjnUqPt87YQiVAMXjQ33q/w245-h224/power.jpg" width="245" /></a></div>You Can Always Find Another Doctor</h3><p>With so many issues from feeling unheard, bad communication from the Onc, dismissive treatment, and broken trust, I am starting to look for a new Oncology group and doctor. I feel like I have had to argue, explain, and beg for my healthcare. I have been forced to make a ridiculous effort to get things done leaving a underlying concern that there was some (I hope) unintentional incompetence on my doctor's part too. </p><p>All these issues make a bad combo. However, time is not on my side. I still need to get stuff done right now too. So, I can't just drop my Onc and go rouge. I need to get my MRI and FISH and genetic test results back. I need to figure out what treatment I need, and start it. I may need to do these things quickly... so, I am going to start looking while also doing my best to get necessary things done at the same time.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;">Soap Box Moment</h3><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTovyp5wF0cD-WvzP6TzZbNXD7NU5DX-sFyauk0pqMzqT6s1_VX_wGrp-mPZZhBmw9zBHWscwo5PGkFZi-oqluCyWZilVPZAWs-bN0K0Fx_a36sfNjRyV4gMRhzUYbf3pNq8bwzvv7smUjmKpv8xEU7vjlZeBXHaCN06HxwUWgTspk7xyy2GsfKHMwE-qn/s600/pharma%20money.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" height="129" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTovyp5wF0cD-WvzP6TzZbNXD7NU5DX-sFyauk0pqMzqT6s1_VX_wGrp-mPZZhBmw9zBHWscwo5PGkFZi-oqluCyWZilVPZAWs-bN0K0Fx_a36sfNjRyV4gMRhzUYbf3pNq8bwzvv7smUjmKpv8xEU7vjlZeBXHaCN06HxwUWgTspk7xyy2GsfKHMwE-qn/w193-h129/pharma%20money.jpg" width="193" /></a></div>I can't help myself. My big opinions and big mouth just can't stop! And here is me stepping on my soap box - no lab testing should cost this much for people going through cancer (or pretty much any other medical issue either). The cost of cancer is insane... and I really wonder how much they are making off of people. There is no way this blood test or the cost of performing this blood test costs the pharmaceutical company between $200-$3,000. No way!</div><div><br /></div><div>I am constantly dumbfounded at the financial moneymaker that cancer is for pharmaceutical companies, doctors, and beyond. It is a giant business that success is dependent on money from people who are going through cancer. It is sad. And it is profitable. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPXayhCCS7lWSBbK8gddZNCfTExSYwrJ9e3wiDaswK4RZPwdDv6gmgV6zmj2NeVVCswiiuhtEEAgbAsaLbLXMr7ZU6pTxA_FO3TLsC2cXK2mRi04swcIAdDbqhIpQBfy2mUktgQaJ-btRM8Fck4JgGd7ugPZNXIddV6X5u5ESJ8q8kon5umDi7DobZF5dk/s1200/stats.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1200" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPXayhCCS7lWSBbK8gddZNCfTExSYwrJ9e3wiDaswK4RZPwdDv6gmgV6zmj2NeVVCswiiuhtEEAgbAsaLbLXMr7ZU6pTxA_FO3TLsC2cXK2mRi04swcIAdDbqhIpQBfy2mUktgQaJ-btRM8Fck4JgGd7ugPZNXIddV6X5u5ESJ8q8kon5umDi7DobZF5dk/w238-h238/stats.jpeg" width="238" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Check Out These Annoying Stats</b></p></div><div>"According to Precedence Research, the global oncology market size worth at US$ 203.42 billion in 2022 and is predicted to reach over US$ 470.61 billion by 2032."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Oncology drugs reached $176 billion in sales in 2021, more than double that of the next item on the list, vaccines with $88.6 billion dollars in sales. By 2026, cancer drug sales are expected to almost double to $320.6 billion."<br /><p></p><p>It is a business. And we are paying for it. <b>Never forget, you are paying for your doctor and your care. You have every right to ask questions and advocate for yourself. It is your right!</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisbGSkaPnbqsKFSofHIvVwOJu7Q686Q6b-MAsytf0TGWGERK0Vh3c0p1zT24US_4aZPDM0caAzyKH1lqQWQM4-6oNXXUoP7pvvKO5WA8XdFEYOqGODWPAIXW3C1j_V8osHfJiifKKIerFtRpcPdFomuNM3wYkjb9ZYoqbDYvA1KcXGMBRNjfZFM377sUWR/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(4).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisbGSkaPnbqsKFSofHIvVwOJu7Q686Q6b-MAsytf0TGWGERK0Vh3c0p1zT24US_4aZPDM0caAzyKH1lqQWQM4-6oNXXUoP7pvvKO5WA8XdFEYOqGODWPAIXW3C1j_V8osHfJiifKKIerFtRpcPdFomuNM3wYkjb9ZYoqbDYvA1KcXGMBRNjfZFM377sUWR/w137-h137/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(4).jpg" width="137" /></a></div>Next Up, Ignoring the Black Clouds of Cancer</h3>Trying not to dwell on the financial black cloud looming over me, I spent the rest of the week busy with my normal life. I had appointments, driving kids to their activities, and even got some time in for a bit of fun exercise with my daughter. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhecdiMXD0IQTSruTVmoNIPmCjRGzVmkB8fhdxOeCKr5LYlAWuYwbuLn_WbbceUvN7Awr6r_eHPOMCh_gpM92YDXEaImlbNoZB17Gel9OwgQM3DLb6qgljzJBxuyx-eNX1g4NB_5zxmZqIyC0cNiLHeY7l60Xz_Yp7w3felCrodFnb2tkb_j_SYfyBXxrtr/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhecdiMXD0IQTSruTVmoNIPmCjRGzVmkB8fhdxOeCKr5LYlAWuYwbuLn_WbbceUvN7Awr6r_eHPOMCh_gpM92YDXEaImlbNoZB17Gel9OwgQM3DLb6qgljzJBxuyx-eNX1g4NB_5zxmZqIyC0cNiLHeY7l60Xz_Yp7w3felCrodFnb2tkb_j_SYfyBXxrtr/w202-h202/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(1).jpg" width="202" /></a></div>I was so proud of myself. I am in horrible shape compared to 2013 and I my spinal degeneration gives me so much grief. Plus, I have a bunch of weird side effects going on with my kidneys and urology (my body hates me). However, my daughter and I made it all the way to the nearby Publix, picked up dinner, and biked it home. A 10 mile bike ride.<p></p><p>Go me!</p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-55738631658008539422023-09-11T00:53:00.009-05:002023-09-11T20:06:46.925-05:00i'm back in the cancer again<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>On Friday afternoon, I got the call...<p></p><div><h4><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipmwxG_2L3ZAHtTJ1zbcga8PHkjxzMEPDDC7KiStTE7pgQ4UvPXTpuPvXRoe1eoLm4v2QQqL5RvlcOKLRmf6UqMQDDCuIVU3d96d8NNcEXVyu6arBGtY_qMjZpDW0jKHM-rGuxG6f5LPoKtCf1rlAK23rBmHR_luguPKWfP7KaL6WyiNgq2csLUWUxy6NI/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(8).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipmwxG_2L3ZAHtTJ1zbcga8PHkjxzMEPDDC7KiStTE7pgQ4UvPXTpuPvXRoe1eoLm4v2QQqL5RvlcOKLRmf6UqMQDDCuIVU3d96d8NNcEXVyu6arBGtY_qMjZpDW0jKHM-rGuxG6f5LPoKtCf1rlAK23rBmHR_luguPKWfP7KaL6WyiNgq2csLUWUxy6NI/w272-h272/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(8).jpg" width="272" /></a></div>You've got cancer.</h4></div><div>I find myself again - sucked into the world of cancer. Surprise... it's back! I guess this was one way to get me back to update my blog!</div><div><br /></div><div>Yes, all those doctors who thought I was being a giant pain in their butt and didn't know what I was talking about when I push and argued to get the biopsy done... well, I get to say "I told you so." I wish it felt better to say, but I was really hoping for I told you I had that weird autoimmune issue (I was thinking lupus... but we will wait on that one).</div><div><br /></div><div>And for those who don't realize how hard I had to advocate to get the biopsy, check out my three blog entries before this one which has a detailed explanation of how I have had to deal with doctors all saying they didn't think I had anything wrong with me - and it was not cancer or breast cancer. It is also important because my self-advocacy and persistence may have actually saved my life.</div><div><br /></div><h4>Let's get into what we know & what we don't:</h4><div>I have Breast Cancer again, but not like my first Breast Cancer. I have a whole new Breast Cancer. Yep, that is a new one for me. I have heard of Mets, Secondary, & Recurrence Cancers - I was told by doctors (10 years ago when I started my 1st cancer journey), when it comes back it usually comes back with the same feeders.</div><div><br /></div><div>My original cancer was Estrogen +, Progesterone +, and HER2 -. That basically means my hormones were feeding the cancer. </div><div><br /></div><div>This time I am Estrogen -, Progesterone -, and we aren't sure about HER2 yet. Basically, that test came up a level 2 which means it may or may not be + or -. So, they are sending off my tissue for additional tests. I won't know for 2 weeks... more waiting!</div><div><br /></div><div>I have a completely different type of breast cancer in 2023 than I did in 2013.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEKu1_rBS88OjQPVMSvLhiuutaz5y9MTtiKcUqXh5voDcfay7XOGYGB1vAU-fWWHZ8NRztO_9_zxcgOR-0iTnzP8_pi0OzBS7FCmP2bgdCUPrhm4XBdBkdYZUtvi0AGhAy7ShrexosTxVQ4QQ50UAXWfXrYtFMj9zUCbvIrWIKpzWrsTCMloFDYrOWaZmf/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(10).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEKu1_rBS88OjQPVMSvLhiuutaz5y9MTtiKcUqXh5voDcfay7XOGYGB1vAU-fWWHZ8NRztO_9_zxcgOR-0iTnzP8_pi0OzBS7FCmP2bgdCUPrhm4XBdBkdYZUtvi0AGhAy7ShrexosTxVQ4QQ50UAXWfXrYtFMj9zUCbvIrWIKpzWrsTCMloFDYrOWaZmf/w234-h234/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(10).jpg" width="234" /></a></div><br />If this couldn't get any odder... it does...</div><div><br /></div><div>I do not have a mass or tumor. This is another area that stumps the doctors. They aren't sure where it came from - was it just my breast tissue that has it or did it start in the lymph nodes or do I have a mass the mammogram missed? This is not common. I am getting an MRI soon to find out if there is maybe a mass somewhere that is hidden away. So, this is a mystery.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><h4>What does all that mean?</h4><p>I have a whole new primary breast cancer. I now have what is called - Multiple Primary Malignancies:</p><p></p><blockquote><p>multiple primary malignancies, refer to two or more different primary cancers in the same patient occurring in the same or different organs or tissues</p></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsntBMq7p17tUOE2k8_LejczEyrVRvq453RByByCXOvREPeW5W63NRS2HpnMFGpJgk5_JHNWK-xqPPVZJb6pdYK5Wri6B70-dOTtrd5x45d5421uS-DdNSUcpbF8NKx8K6H8Kz-lpaTZj34lpHPYGC_C6qaSXpH8fbnX6lGc67-zJueJgjitdV1LJNEddI/s1024/Occurrence+of+multiple+primary+malignancies+is+still+very+rare.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="1024" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsntBMq7p17tUOE2k8_LejczEyrVRvq453RByByCXOvREPeW5W63NRS2HpnMFGpJgk5_JHNWK-xqPPVZJb6pdYK5Wri6B70-dOTtrd5x45d5421uS-DdNSUcpbF8NKx8K6H8Kz-lpaTZj34lpHPYGC_C6qaSXpH8fbnX6lGc67-zJueJgjitdV1LJNEddI/s320/Occurrence+of+multiple+primary+malignancies+is+still+very+rare.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: center;">Of course it is rare... I can't do anything normal. </p><h4>Where do I go from here?</h4><p>I can't start any treatment yet. Once I know if I am HER2 - or HER2 + I will know what type of chemotherapy will be most effective. I do know I am headed for a new cancer journey of chemotherapy, surgeries, and radiation. I will be visiting breast surgeons, oncologists, heart doctors, radiation oncologists, and a few more doctors I can't even think of right now. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV8g2UXsyP6dgrBlofGsKpf9fxMWx9UvnSzk0PlnV37E6x7KahLY2Xi6oSBkUgHrZzQ3JJ2gsxXAfwzTjTnPYxejbaZ7a4foc7kQJBkVFtAOj5tSQkdBGY12o0B-E3Vj8AaFBTinBjljpPfsKyA5H53HYsH5QdynB8f0pNvVEHEb_OxwRTqh_AoeHu_9SW/s662/Board-Game-Start.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="625" data-original-width="662" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV8g2UXsyP6dgrBlofGsKpf9fxMWx9UvnSzk0PlnV37E6x7KahLY2Xi6oSBkUgHrZzQ3JJ2gsxXAfwzTjTnPYxejbaZ7a4foc7kQJBkVFtAOj5tSQkdBGY12o0B-E3Vj8AaFBTinBjljpPfsKyA5H53HYsH5QdynB8f0pNvVEHEb_OxwRTqh_AoeHu_9SW/w222-h209/Board-Game-Start.jpg" width="222" /></a></div><p></p><p>It means I get to start my cancer journey all over again...</p><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Musical Reference for the Title: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdKgwgURHj8" target="_blank">I'm Back in the Saddle Again by Aerosmith</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-75184569563800124242023-09-08T17:25:00.010-05:002023-09-11T00:30:33.996-05:00time for some answers<p>We are finally near the end of the three part blog updating journey. Whew! I am so ready to find out what the heck is going on with my body.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;">PART THREE</h3><p>If you read <a href="http://www.tatawarrior.com/2023/08/wreckboombang.html" target="_blank">PART ONE</a> or <a href="http://www.tatawarrior.com/2023/09/bettersafethansorry.html" target="_blank">PART TWO</a> of my recent experience, you will know I am crazy frustrated and slightly paranoid that my medical team is going to screw another thing up. So, I asked everyone when I went in for the biopsy that they were going to do a cancer screening (the original ER doctor was concerned about) and test for all the autoimmune things (the PET scan Radiologist, Ultrasound Radiologist, and my Oncologist thinks I have). </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWceT5KwmdnyB96K_kqKKxsNJ93KRbcIx8-o-z47Wm_dgGRgL8zIkEwXxCXX_NlfFdMn-H2A_d4gUz9_yaMFZWXwRAf60H5aClyh3Sw1NYag3QmhxfLjFEiWmxOuyeSaOG00EVtEZJL-lbPsOi2X3Yld9YYtR9O51yfdCFd2ctcLDlQJsihq_TqhNYQS44/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(6).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWceT5KwmdnyB96K_kqKKxsNJ93KRbcIx8-o-z47Wm_dgGRgL8zIkEwXxCXX_NlfFdMn-H2A_d4gUz9_yaMFZWXwRAf60H5aClyh3Sw1NYag3QmhxfLjFEiWmxOuyeSaOG00EVtEZJL-lbPsOi2X3Yld9YYtR9O51yfdCFd2ctcLDlQJsihq_TqhNYQS44/w246-h246/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(6).jpg" width="246" /></a></div>I am coming into this with a fresh start. I want to make sure that they test for everything the biopsy can because I really don't want to have to come back and do this again. All I know is something isn't right with me - and I hope this helps me figure out what it is.<p></p><p>The Radiologist who did the biopsy was more informative than all the other doctors I have seen so far. She explained things more clearly and in complete contrast (in some ways) to my other doctors:</p><p><br /></p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>My original cancer was on the right side. My left lymph nodes are reactive. So, it would be odd for the breast cancer to be showing up there. Especially since I have no masses (recent mammogram showed nothing).</li><li>My PET scan only showed the left lymph nodes. Lymphoma generally is bilateral, so it would be odd for this to be it.</li></ol><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6iy1ryyUwzZ1-67H9U6SYvpj53NZzCJgABgixlnwhFiG0WH290ZziSbiSgvGmwasq6AzAX1xF1Azu3LLcys6DJEnubaZ0P72tqeepUMbikdkzxGWFMjb19L4l1bgO_EKwENwLveALcg5cizmk_D7jzrYiPTwHXzMGUlBxFxw3E2ynwbXxf3ADFhP-94qk/s3492/20230321_110619.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3492" data-original-width="1550" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6iy1ryyUwzZ1-67H9U6SYvpj53NZzCJgABgixlnwhFiG0WH290ZziSbiSgvGmwasq6AzAX1xF1Azu3LLcys6DJEnubaZ0P72tqeepUMbikdkzxGWFMjb19L4l1bgO_EKwENwLveALcg5cizmk_D7jzrYiPTwHXzMGUlBxFxw3E2ynwbXxf3ADFhP-94qk/w108-h242/20230321_110619.jpg" width="108" /></a></div>3. Cat Scratch lymph nodes generally look more aggressive and more would be involved. So, that would be odd. As you can plainly see, my cat is insulted. She's an older housecat - and if you knew my husband, you would know that fleas anywhere near our home or yard is impossible... he loves his yard and he takes great pride in keeping it perfect (including no bugs like fleas). Though my cat might be trying to kill me, she would do it in a more clever way.<div><p></p><p>4. I do have multiple issues with multiple lymph nodes, so maybe another autoimmune issue. But the biopsy can only check for so many things.</p><p><br /></p><p>The Radiologist was like you are just presenting in an odd way. But, you never know what it could be. Sometimes people test positive for these things and we were sure it wouldn't be cancer. So, it's better to check. She was going to test for everything she could (breast cancer, lymphoma, infections) - sending off <a href="https://www.cancer.net/navigating-cancer-care/diagnosing-cancer/reports-and-results/after-biopsy-making-diagnosis" target="_blank">Fresh & Permanent Biopsies (click link to learn what this and Slides mean)</a> .</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>HELLO, she is saying exactly what I have been saying since I saw my CT almost a month ago!</b></p><p style="text-align: center;">She did the ultrasound guided needle biopsy in the axillary lymph nodes. For those who do not know, </p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>you will lay on your side, leaning back some.</li><li>a ultrasound tech will find the axillary lymph nodes located below your arm pit. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnDlt2K68D-it_YJ35BdTfwiIfBoFnj5PWZwH5IZ9eQHcocRkZ9zMByN6InRZ39sqKRmBPJ8h2abgfGsBGCIt1sKcUCrdrqqidmQMN6Bg-G9tFd9CwX6OXCRVsFGBKa__2w8rKMrICG2Ljjmwz262YCuczfrMwwmoYFszNERv1AVNBiBNoNMhWqJHkQpuW/s3684/PXL_20230905_233046902.MP.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2910" data-original-width="3684" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnDlt2K68D-it_YJ35BdTfwiIfBoFnj5PWZwH5IZ9eQHcocRkZ9zMByN6InRZ39sqKRmBPJ8h2abgfGsBGCIt1sKcUCrdrqqidmQMN6Bg-G9tFd9CwX6OXCRVsFGBKa__2w8rKMrICG2Ljjmwz262YCuczfrMwwmoYFszNERv1AVNBiBNoNMhWqJHkQpuW/w186-h147/PXL_20230905_233046902.MP.jpg" width="186" /></a></div></li><li>she will maker up the location for the Radiologist, and it even looks like my left breast consent, "yes", to the biopsy (ha!).</li><li>the tech nurse uses the ultrasound to find the location and the Radiologist will insert a long needle through your skin and into the lymph node (mine said she used a thicker needle to get more lymph fluid and tissue for me).</li><li>the needle has a section that can cut the tissue sample - it makes a loud click when it happens. there will be many samples taken. You may feel some pain. I did, but it was when she had to move the needle around before taking samples.</li><li>then a tag was placed into my lymph node just in case they needed to go back or find it if something is wrong.</li></ol><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSeaJJGawFS-4zKQ5pOjg9hm9fC9fF3SIlzrede9FYrdum6GMytPibbFkWBwdY29YVV89dmSBNb4n9AikqOBBGDnWB8vmPhRQ8f_UhxeL5L5IpvDQ0u1mYd8qmn2UmcAH-cQrEEh42dVEgLvvOdZYR2Ym-D_RbGTqWebnkObSC_kzBNWk_f1o9e0_brqeM/s388/needle%20biopsy.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="388" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSeaJJGawFS-4zKQ5pOjg9hm9fC9fF3SIlzrede9FYrdum6GMytPibbFkWBwdY29YVV89dmSBNb4n9AikqOBBGDnWB8vmPhRQ8f_UhxeL5L5IpvDQ0u1mYd8qmn2UmcAH-cQrEEh42dVEgLvvOdZYR2Ym-D_RbGTqWebnkObSC_kzBNWk_f1o9e0_brqeM/w225-h163/needle%20biopsy.jpg" width="225" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLSNHSHQltQ80NorMISFeGz7X5dCwxYFt1CC2dlCJ9bYvyRvFPIA42J_PAD_ceEVkArWAnq6KCBa06HkxA0goN_molqjZOf2V3cAhCed_ugra5fCfzlVWVDNcInL38x2j4NITwJDnxEQBwHNTXa9d90aWJ6wu5IncWXy9LVf9ZbWwzzzM7ZJx0YSVQvBN4/s2193/PXL_20230905_233108861.MP.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2036" data-original-width="2193" height="154" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLSNHSHQltQ80NorMISFeGz7X5dCwxYFt1CC2dlCJ9bYvyRvFPIA42J_PAD_ceEVkArWAnq6KCBa06HkxA0goN_molqjZOf2V3cAhCed_ugra5fCfzlVWVDNcInL38x2j4NITwJDnxEQBwHNTXa9d90aWJ6wu5IncWXy9LVf9ZbWwzzzM7ZJx0YSVQvBN4/w167-h154/PXL_20230905_233108861.MP.jpg" width="167" /></a></div><br /><div>When I left, the Radiologist said I would know something on Thursday. Two days isn't a bad wait. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, I waited. And late Thursday afternoon, the office called to say they need to do a few more slides. I said, no news is good news. They responded with no news in no news - not good news or bad news. - I am secretly thinking YIKES - that doesn't sound good.</div><div><br /></div><div>So more waiting. And now, I am slightly concerning because it means that something may need more pathology answers, like for cancer (determining what feeds it). However, sometimes pathologists are just busy. But, I know I am a at risk (had cancer before) patient which tends to go faster.</div><div><br /></div><div>Last time I had cancer, I knew the next day. This time, they are making me wait.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg40LfwDD_ekM6_PcljVmR2e5g-QuPte2ldZQkJkSw-TJFW6XJGQV_s8oxhFCaEmDqT3L8TvMJkp8NGe7lB1tRIWYv_PIE21W_QaDdaS5oV5S-1Nv6uracLAeGGva32kG_C1D0Dsrl_3NeDyJkPvR5Qc5XEq8hwz0AmAxs2asnQ9-PuNRkhv9dhZRUpuZAZ/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(9).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg40LfwDD_ekM6_PcljVmR2e5g-QuPte2ldZQkJkSw-TJFW6XJGQV_s8oxhFCaEmDqT3L8TvMJkp8NGe7lB1tRIWYv_PIE21W_QaDdaS5oV5S-1Nv6uracLAeGGva32kG_C1D0Dsrl_3NeDyJkPvR5Qc5XEq8hwz0AmAxs2asnQ9-PuNRkhv9dhZRUpuZAZ/w254-h254/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(9).jpg" width="254" /></a></div><div>On Friday afternoon, I got the call...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><p><b>You've got breast cancer. <br />Again. <br />But, it's not the same breast cancer as last time. <br /></b></p></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div>I guess this was one way to get me back to update my blog?!?</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-3240120214375311782023-09-01T18:50:00.017-05:002023-09-10T22:51:16.150-05:00better safe than sorry<p>Recap, if you read my <a href="http://www.tatawarrior.com/2023/08/wreckboombang.html" target="_blank">last post</a> you know I had a CT scan that showed something looked off with my axillary lymph nodes on my left side (a bunch of lymph nodes in my mesenteric and iliac... and a few other abnormal things). </p><p>I even have a moral to this part of my health journey. Be your own health advocate - even when it's hard (I'm even <b>bolding some of my moments where I had to stand up for myself</b> with and against some of my own doctors)!</p><h3 style="text-align: left;">PART TWO</h3><p>Get ready, a ton of things happened over the course of a few weeks...</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk-dJKE83vZokpxgh2ztckmFsfZ46W_iacSVZHuKRO329IdzuBwWKEe8dgnAi5nR3Of6gfI-DvFmai4oGwx3PGceUm1RPhOJN6hjo7b1yQba0zFF477LIa0fpMeLTV3kYpZNytTURD83smc4SZnpI5kFVhMvQ1ZtxkxGDcKPuGUN7zY7iXusQh6m-6nF_k/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk-dJKE83vZokpxgh2ztckmFsfZ46W_iacSVZHuKRO329IdzuBwWKEe8dgnAi5nR3Of6gfI-DvFmai4oGwx3PGceUm1RPhOJN6hjo7b1yQba0zFF477LIa0fpMeLTV3kYpZNytTURD83smc4SZnpI5kFVhMvQ1ZtxkxGDcKPuGUN7zY7iXusQh6m-6nF_k/w289-h289/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry.jpg" width="289" /></a></div><div><ul><li><b>I call my Oncologist the next day after learning my CT scan results.</b></li><li>My Oncologist saw the CT results and called me back the next night. <b>She and I don't fully agree on everything in our conversation, and</b> <b>I protest a bit saying better safe than sorry. </b>Despite this, she wants me to wait a month before getting the PET scan.</li></ul><div><br /></div><div><div>I don't really like the idea of waiting that long since I know I haven't felt great since April.<b> I did tell her that if I could find an earlier time, I was going to take it.</b></div><div><br /></div></div><ul><li>She puts in orders my PET scan for a month away.</li></ul><ul><li>So, <b>I call and change my PET scan date</b> <b>to an earlier time, and I change the location because I wanted to go somewhere else.</b></li></ul><ul><li>I get my PET scan.</li><li>I wait for the results, but I'm not super concern yet since the Oncologist was very sure I was being overly cautious.</li><li>PET scan results come in. <b>I have two axillary nodes on my left side light up</b>, but the comments say they think it is <i>more inflammation like Cat Scratch, Minimal chance of Lymphoma, and Least Likely Breast Cancer. Maybe a Needle Biopsy to Differentiate.</i></li><li>After a few days since I saw the results, <b>I call my Oncologist office to make sure they received the results</b> since I had it done at a different location.</li></ul><div><br /></div><div>Get ready because my gloves are about to come off..</div><div><br /></div><ul><li>My Oncologist calls me back that night. She seems kind of irritated I had the scan (and irritated I had it at a different location). She tells me she isn't really concerned. I still feel it's better to be safe than sorry. <b>She says I have to have now have an ultrasound before she will let me do a biopsy and only if the Radiologist thinks I should. I argue I want a biopsy - no matter what - since I have a CT and PET scan that look unsure.</b> <i><b>Either way, I want to differentiate and find out what is wrong with me.</b></i></li></ul><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp6T-WHpYo7VoV1FG9wECagxfccA9QJa1p--0hgmSAUXCPdRWq3iFP7GFadP2BJncA_lPqEgallEB55H0Gu8bv1OWweFbnxiz4qcTTeiBqD9LjdL54tf8bAmvhf3PJ-G0epGl0jcQjX2gxQ_nhONHTz7SDStlbP3WgknzzaCr6FjmPhPliOO53Ie8IqYfH/s388/needle%20biopsy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="388" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp6T-WHpYo7VoV1FG9wECagxfccA9QJa1p--0hgmSAUXCPdRWq3iFP7GFadP2BJncA_lPqEgallEB55H0Gu8bv1OWweFbnxiz4qcTTeiBqD9LjdL54tf8bAmvhf3PJ-G0epGl0jcQjX2gxQ_nhONHTz7SDStlbP3WgknzzaCr6FjmPhPliOO53Ie8IqYfH/w226-h164/needle%20biopsy.jpg" width="226" /></a></div>My thoughts: This would only be an ultrasound guided needle biopsy in the lymph nodes near my arm pit (see picture). It is not a hard or challenging biopsy. I am shocked this is such a big issue.</div><div><br /></div><div>I do not feel heard... again. I had already complained about not wanting to wait a month for the PET scan, had the PET scan with some lit up issues, and I know I feel off. Still my Oncologist is making me go through another extra test - a test that is not going to show anything more clearly. It is not an MRI! Of course, she wants the Ultrasound to be done at her hospital were she wanted me to for the PET scan. And I am starting to get more upset about her not taken my concerns seriously.</div><ul style="text-align: left;"><br /><li>My Oncologist orders an Ultrasound (hopefully, like she said, with Biopsy if needed).</li><li>I feel very unheard and the more I thought about it<b> I felt like this is my health care. So, call Oncologist nurse line back and reiterate that I want the biopsy. </b>I basically leave a message on the nurse line saying something like:</li></ul><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia7JfJQgwgGvS7j5wsJKoqdmSX-M7rxVNEqAjldGKfvFvlN8TrjBTAjYTk5Nev8_ufaB1sz4vt-DxsMafoMo1zDik3V3ZrrhgYXsxp6cPzDW-YBS5qLNVGkaREUGONInrp2WpRzQQT1tDDkL3IYW4H9NQPJdgZkvdkwR8KoBQwjaFqFWLbaDvAOHL9GdbF/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia7JfJQgwgGvS7j5wsJKoqdmSX-M7rxVNEqAjldGKfvFvlN8TrjBTAjYTk5Nev8_ufaB1sz4vt-DxsMafoMo1zDik3V3ZrrhgYXsxp6cPzDW-YBS5qLNVGkaREUGONInrp2WpRzQQT1tDDkL3IYW4H9NQPJdgZkvdkwR8KoBQwjaFqFWLbaDvAOHL9GdbF/s320/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(2).jpg" width="320" /></a><b>I do not want an ultrasound as I have already had other testing. I have had biopsies for less and am not sure why they are making me jump through extra steps. I am also going to be worried if I do not have a biopsy - what if I missed cancer and then in a few years go by and I find out I have cancer. I will question this exact moment. Maybe, I would have had better odds if I had done the biopsy now and found it. Maybe even, by missing it, I could die. How bad I would feel? How mad at myself I would be for not calling back and saying I want the biopsy? My scans weren't 100% clear. The CT looked off and the PET scan lit up (matching the CT scan). I can't just sit back and not speak up. I would be furious at myself. I would be foolish. If the worst thing that happens is I do a biopsy and it comes back not cancer... great. It is a very small risk procedure. Maybe I do have an autoimmune disease or something else, but let's find out with a biopsy. I do not feel the ultrasound is necessary - and I would like to just have the biopsy! If you are going to require me to have the ultrasound - fine. But in the end, I will be insanely upset if the biopsy doesn't happen when I go to the appointment. </b></div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>Ok, I ranted a little. I wasn't ugly... more frustrated... but who's going to speak up for me, if not me?</div></div><div><br /></div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The Oncologist nurse calls me back and tells me the doctor heard my concerns, but is going to make me do the ultrasound first and if the Radiologist at the location she wants me to use says I need one they will do it right after. <b>I tell them I am not being heard, my concerns are being ignored, and the doctor is not really hearing me.</b> They basically tell me they understand, but sorry.</li></ul><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA9xfXJvgiis-zFIiHlo_fkTNHBcuRBbVgBWoVWafGEXIxUn2knapasd9pmzsYOf7htbSC7pzF-Z5tgD0G2HTDiZuonNwM86-T1I3Ter8F71ZxauYwhBsNuQ_j-SjQydIhz7ryoWfYg-agPkKlQ1oZQKX9LVD1Ys4cftjQY-7wy4arMxmOXA51iQ_t4ctO/s863/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(5).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="288" data-original-width="863" height="89" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA9xfXJvgiis-zFIiHlo_fkTNHBcuRBbVgBWoVWafGEXIxUn2knapasd9pmzsYOf7htbSC7pzF-Z5tgD0G2HTDiZuonNwM86-T1I3Ter8F71ZxauYwhBsNuQ_j-SjQydIhz7ryoWfYg-agPkKlQ1oZQKX9LVD1Ys4cftjQY-7wy4arMxmOXA51iQ_t4ctO/w265-h89/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(5).jpg" width="265" /></a></div>Since no one is listening to me, I am even more concerned that the biopsy isn't going to happen. I have a feeling that no one is taking me seriously. So, I know it is my job to keep pestering and checking on my medical appointments.</div><div><br /></div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The Breast Center calls me to get my money and pre-op. <b>I make them confirm that the orders are for the Ultrasound (with Biopsy after if needed).</b> They do.</li><li><b>I call the Breast Center again, three days before my appointment, to make sure the orders for the Ultrasound have the Biopsy option afterwards. I am telling them up front, I am basically going to argue my way into the Biopsy & need to make sure they can do it that day.</b> They tell me, if they see a reason they will do it right after the Ultrasound.</li><li>I go to my appointment.</li></ul><div><br /></div><div>I imagine you all are like, it all worked out. You had the ultrasound and biopsy, right? It had to happen because you did your due diligence (you were annoying thorough). You literally talked and fussed about it with everyone. You check and double checked with Oncologist and Breast Center, letting everyone know that you expected it had to happen. </div><div><br /></div><div>Short answer? NO.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi9UBO8njtpeWYc5kozm66M65EcGE6pDBreF4iUp-Fj8NlI6xyHDs9q17sD2etRRrYMwyVMNM3Z1KT_CT-IuWGqsAhyUhyY7tI85vdT-KqT8rI52b8j7zxq9Q1hidWoHDnhQfZ0g_bPK9mtqsHQgXiLrT3Txe4DoNylpRlJ2o2TOFaIMUt2C37vMNkQ4ki/s2160/AirBrush_20230905150805.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="1620" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi9UBO8njtpeWYc5kozm66M65EcGE6pDBreF4iUp-Fj8NlI6xyHDs9q17sD2etRRrYMwyVMNM3Z1KT_CT-IuWGqsAhyUhyY7tI85vdT-KqT8rI52b8j7zxq9Q1hidWoHDnhQfZ0g_bPK9mtqsHQgXiLrT3Txe4DoNylpRlJ2o2TOFaIMUt2C37vMNkQ4ki/s320/AirBrush_20230905150805.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>Long answer? Still no, but here it is:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I go to my appointment.</li><li><b>I tell the nurse as she is taking me back, in a very nice way, that I am expecting the biopsy today and why. I had called and checked. </b></li><li>I get undressed and put on my gown. And wait. <i>(See me in my gown to the left - I don't look like I'm being to evil - do I?)</i></li><li>I get on the table. <b><b>While I know they have to do the ultrasound, I really need to have the biopsy for peace of mind as a cancer survivor with a</b> recent CT and PET scan that looked odd. Whatever they find, I feel like for me the biopsy is something that is necessary - especially since I have had symptoms that could be related. And my Oncologist said I could have it after the ultrasound, today.</b></li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The nurse tells me to stop talking since it is messing with the ultrasound. It takes maybe 4 minutes. She leaves the room probably thinking I am slightly neurotic (and a hypochondriac).</li><li>45 minutes pass... she peeks her head in once to tell me she's waiting for the Radiologist to look at my images. I feel asleep waiting.</li><li>She and the Radiologist enter the room and I am like, yeah my biopsy... so stupid of me.</li><li>The Radiologist tells me: my lymph nodes are reactive. However, they do not have my PET scan in the system since the Oncologist has NOT uploaded it to my patient portal. He tells me how he looks for breast cancer all day long, and he doesn't think it looks like that or lymphoma. It is most likely autoimmune or something like that. But, they are reactive and he of course isn't completely sure. He says I could either just wait 6 months and check to see what it does or have a biopsy.</li><li>As you already know,<b> I respond with I want the biopsy.</b></li><li>Guess what? <b><i>They don't do biopsies on Friday after lunch. My appointment was on Friday at 1pm. Plus, they can't do a biopsy because my Oncologist only sent orders for a Ultrasound (not a Biopsy).</i></b> If she had sent it as a Biopsy then they could have either done just the Biopsy or Ultrasound and then Biopsy, but of course, not that day - it was Friday afternoon. </li></ul><div><br /></div></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqsS-p6i9vmtJWM6j_jvDI3tYmDnrMxu6mkt-lm8AuB9tS7EfgECkafKwWLifuD_2V9RgIyQUoeI7UYzQAwcY6FV5FrNkQFr-8Pa-qtmy97hOL5LMrlkMG-wyATZ1239ly8rpS603XW05MbqAjnqP7iKnnJTaOwXMxyhZih2mDwm4QVE8itrY4X3fmpZl0/s705/bizzaro.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="403" data-original-width="705" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqsS-p6i9vmtJWM6j_jvDI3tYmDnrMxu6mkt-lm8AuB9tS7EfgECkafKwWLifuD_2V9RgIyQUoeI7UYzQAwcY6FV5FrNkQFr-8Pa-qtmy97hOL5LMrlkMG-wyATZ1239ly8rpS603XW05MbqAjnqP7iKnnJTaOwXMxyhZih2mDwm4QVE8itrY4X3fmpZl0/s320/bizzaro.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></div><div><div><div><div>WTF?!?! How is this possible after all the calls to check on this exact issue? At this point, I kind of loose my cool. </div></div></div><div><br /></div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>I feel so lied to. I feel so beaten down. I go into a slight rant</b> telling them everything. I was so upset and frustrated, I started to cry a little. I was like, I get you aren't super worried - which is great - but I was very clear with my Oncologist and you here at the Breast Center before I even arrived. </li><li>Since <b>I was slightly crying, they were like we know you are scared of cancer. NO, I AM NOT SCARED OF CANCER... I AM PISSED OFF I HAVE NOT HAD THE BIOPSY THAT I ARGUED ABOUT WITH MY ONCOLOGIST MULTIPLE TIMES & CALLED YOUR OFFICE 2 TIMES TO MAKE SURE MY ORDERS WERE CORRECT & COULD HAVE IT TODAY. NOW EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN, HAPPENED.</b> </li></ul><div><i><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhloM9n-QsKOMQR_J3CGMvX-l-8sZ_OUw18wq3guS9_aqCi8uNiPt-xIu_0U1k2NkfHUoWFiem9TxW7HEac-kibQ2znzG8TIlDdGZaXEiaQmLQYPFqHNKFlR3UIVagI7NKl32IiA3ree8VT4QAF6WHivhbdc3EAQIui97FAKL6LvuvO_ihoWnz_mGZx8O1w/s750/cry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="689" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhloM9n-QsKOMQR_J3CGMvX-l-8sZ_OUw18wq3guS9_aqCi8uNiPt-xIu_0U1k2NkfHUoWFiem9TxW7HEac-kibQ2znzG8TIlDdGZaXEiaQmLQYPFqHNKFlR3UIVagI7NKl32IiA3ree8VT4QAF6WHivhbdc3EAQIui97FAKL6LvuvO_ihoWnz_mGZx8O1w/w245-h266/cry.jpg" width="245" /></a></div><br />(Side note: if you are a woman and you cry at all when you speak to certain doctors, they will immediately think or say you need to be medicated because you're too emotional or unstable. This is bulls!*t. This idea has been a problem I have seen throughout my medical journey. Don't let anyone make you feel that way. You are allowed to be upset and cry and have emotions without needing to be medicated - and if you want to be medicated, that is fine too - but to equate crying to being drugged or irrational is just plan sexist and ridiculous.)</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>On the positive, everyone says they don't think this reads like cancer - that's great - <b>but I just need the most accurate confirmation that it isn't cancer - the biopsy.</b></li><li>Me being upset isn't going to change anything. I am not getting the biopsy today. The Radiologist is like, I can get you in for a biopsy next week, if your doctor sends in the orders. </li><li>It's Friday before Labor Day. I am realizing how screwed up this is!</li><li><b>Because I am nice and should, I apologize to the Radiologist letting him know that I realize this isn't his fault. It isn't. He can't do anything that my Oncologist didn't send the orders. Or that I feel like she and everyone lied to me. He just happened to be the one to deal with my messed up, non-biopsy-ing, ultrasound.</b> He understands and leaves. The nurse is still kind of a jerk at the end saying they are generally too busy right now to fit in biopsies, that they couldn't have gotten me in next week anyway. I was like, didn't you hear him say next week. She made me feel even worse - which is pretty crappy considering I wasn't mean to her or anyone, but I did express that I was: Confused. Upset. And Tired of Feeling Ignored!</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>It's now later on a Friday afternoon... I leave the Breast Center... and I can't stop yet. I have to keep on advocating for myself...</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipdID0UHuLUgSDsTaxZbqxPyPFxyetuFBBkFwarK5l_ewenvHbVllugA_YoKq0L0xIti0HXcUeE7R5kyHme97l2ZB5S3ABlk6JdqTjH9YcxdaNQGV5RhYfmJMvWHsZ2ZVFdgizPIzeMZzPxXSjgGUpNer5BxbJfNclwe_Z8e03y1j9oqQZr9HKKvJ1lA9d/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(3).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipdID0UHuLUgSDsTaxZbqxPyPFxyetuFBBkFwarK5l_ewenvHbVllugA_YoKq0L0xIti0HXcUeE7R5kyHme97l2ZB5S3ABlk6JdqTjH9YcxdaNQGV5RhYfmJMvWHsZ2ZVFdgizPIzeMZzPxXSjgGUpNer5BxbJfNclwe_Z8e03y1j9oqQZr9HKKvJ1lA9d/s320/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(3).jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>I call my Oncologist's nurse line and express my frustration.</b> Yes, I think I left a crying unhappy voice mail. I bet you can imagine how it went.</li><li><b>I call my Primary doctor saying, I am upset with my Oncologist and need to get a biopsy done. If she doesn't order it, I need him too.</b> I am so upset and will need a new referral for a new Oncologist.</li><li>I call my husband and mother. ARGH!</li><li>The Oncologist nurse calls me back, and after a lot of venting, she does at least apologize and say she's not sure what happened. They are not sure what happened with the orders - she says they think they sent it correctly. Of course, no one is going to admit fault. And they had no idea about the Breast Center not doing biopsies on Friday afternoon. <b>Oh, and my Oncologist is out of town. But luckily for me, since she had said the biopsy could be done if the Radiologist approved it, I could get one.</b> So, she would call and schedule one for next week. <b>WTF... why didn't they do that from the beginning!</b></li><li>The Oncologist nurse calls me back with a biopsy appointment for Tuesday afternoon.</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>For real, this craziness is real. I might be slightly insane by this point. But, I was proactive.</div><div><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigEkLOnYat6rO6tmVJWCM92q2zTyAcukszQXgqhOiBKLyhjYLRiJCr9QYXVAnVB08bSy-GFVu2BdfxnNBmybcxXIroTr2KCzd9sDsNFBW8flNqECHuegnoLo_gTxz6L1zvDDNRtil4ie_NKeGMf-rj6MLvx6rdc9PS1FYb00zvkycvVYrcP-okd0jnrqQF/s450/quinn.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="438" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigEkLOnYat6rO6tmVJWCM92q2zTyAcukszQXgqhOiBKLyhjYLRiJCr9QYXVAnVB08bSy-GFVu2BdfxnNBmybcxXIroTr2KCzd9sDsNFBW8flNqECHuegnoLo_gTxz6L1zvDDNRtil4ie_NKeGMf-rj6MLvx6rdc9PS1FYb00zvkycvVYrcP-okd0jnrqQF/w137-h141/quinn.png" width="137" /></a></div>Yes, I feel like everyone is looking at me like I am a psychopath. </div><div><br /></div><div>And the funny thing is - I am one of the most, "it is what it is" person. Yet, my cancer journey has taught me - I am my own health advocate. I have to fight for me. Sometimes relentlessly. I know me best.</div><div><br /></div><div>And, if my life is making you tired, imagine how I feel?!? I am going to go relax this holiday weekend and go to my biopsy on Tuesday knowing I made it happen. I didn't give up on what I think is right!</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghszT6QD52cW7G5odLC0c1q4QFC9C_crey4ZKN7fkox1Gm9OLB8cIqABaKE39pgfErxq6dDurK2GCRjBlnyOUFbr6CT2jbBLIk5zDcS3hvPgBVN5muKxwRIn4nyiUVBKmhIpsoGuXaHKiyhB_U47AvdZwRCmkOXCilGb6ERqyXV3t5U8qzzNBvnj2i2750/s1363/AirBrush_20230727082958.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1363" data-original-width="556" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghszT6QD52cW7G5odLC0c1q4QFC9C_crey4ZKN7fkox1Gm9OLB8cIqABaKE39pgfErxq6dDurK2GCRjBlnyOUFbr6CT2jbBLIk5zDcS3hvPgBVN5muKxwRIn4nyiUVBKmhIpsoGuXaHKiyhB_U47AvdZwRCmkOXCilGb6ERqyXV3t5U8qzzNBvnj2i2750/s320/AirBrush_20230727082958.jpg" width="131" /></a><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3nz_VMFUWgV7yrvvgZi2rNi9WmAYxX0tU4EUYn9kvyOGgu8iqqPR_5W1Wf4zDadKwqmrwMVv0fIPD44mQLGFR2CsP93ZlLV_07RBzN98xiKpOyCV_qPc5hmYqs60SuL5JBGNDnFC3gRwn0UGo2XltyVTlizKF4K2wzNTOow3e5El7kJWmtfHx3dnwYAcL/s320/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(4).jpg" width="320" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghszT6QD52cW7G5odLC0c1q4QFC9C_crey4ZKN7fkox1Gm9OLB8cIqABaKE39pgfErxq6dDurK2GCRjBlnyOUFbr6CT2jbBLIk5zDcS3hvPgBVN5muKxwRIn4nyiUVBKmhIpsoGuXaHKiyhB_U47AvdZwRCmkOXCilGb6ERqyXV3t5U8qzzNBvnj2i2750/s1363/AirBrush_20230727082958.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1363" data-original-width="556" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghszT6QD52cW7G5odLC0c1q4QFC9C_crey4ZKN7fkox1Gm9OLB8cIqABaKE39pgfErxq6dDurK2GCRjBlnyOUFbr6CT2jbBLIk5zDcS3hvPgBVN5muKxwRIn4nyiUVBKmhIpsoGuXaHKiyhB_U47AvdZwRCmkOXCilGb6ERqyXV3t5U8qzzNBvnj2i2750/s320/AirBrush_20230727082958.jpg" width="131" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3197255501439014443.post-57284269087472379632023-08-10T17:25:00.005-05:002023-09-10T22:57:53.860-05:00wreck, boom, bang<p>Life... so much has happened in my life since the last blog post. However, I had to write for a few reasons, but for now, I am going to focus on a few recent events. Hopefully, my journey might be what inspires or encourages someone out there to be their own best health advocate. </p><p>It is kind of long, so I will share in a 3 Part journey.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><h3 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv9njeTJAQkzfW0tivdjSsxffx-3byvhJvWO94-l-9ulHMSDHM6ZJ5r3ccYNukaPMC-EjyTJmf7S5QWPh_wEvb6rqoIzQW2jfING2_MSOw236xl0xJZ2peP1kHgslBdfxmOIf8QC1B_ngfNuuSC1FaSLUPJoKoY9uIjrAEnpKrKzC9YOpvsgohQefvyX3P/s1080/Untitled%20design%20(8).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">PART ONE</a></h3><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv9njeTJAQkzfW0tivdjSsxffx-3byvhJvWO94-l-9ulHMSDHM6ZJ5r3ccYNukaPMC-EjyTJmf7S5QWPh_wEvb6rqoIzQW2jfING2_MSOw236xl0xJZ2peP1kHgslBdfxmOIf8QC1B_ngfNuuSC1FaSLUPJoKoY9uIjrAEnpKrKzC9YOpvsgohQefvyX3P/s1080/Untitled%20design%20(8).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv9njeTJAQkzfW0tivdjSsxffx-3byvhJvWO94-l-9ulHMSDHM6ZJ5r3ccYNukaPMC-EjyTJmf7S5QWPh_wEvb6rqoIzQW2jfING2_MSOw236xl0xJZ2peP1kHgslBdfxmOIf8QC1B_ngfNuuSC1FaSLUPJoKoY9uIjrAEnpKrKzC9YOpvsgohQefvyX3P/w226-h226/Untitled%20design%20(8).jpg" width="226" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p>You know you the best. And I had a sneaky feeling, something was off with me. I have had a few weird and annoying symptoms pop up around April this year. I fussed and complained to all my doctors. And in the back of my mind, I wondered. Maybe, just maybe, I was having some unconscious psychosomatic issues because I am right at the 10 year mark of finding my cancer. Was it all in my head?</p><p><br /></p><p>I didn't have long to ponder the problem long. Life hit. My daughter got injured at camp. My son finished grad school and moved back home. My dad got really sick (not sure how much he wants me to discuss - but it has been tough). Hospital trips. Doctor appointments. My daughter finally got better and was in a few movies and back training in her sports. College trips with my daughter. Chiropractors. Doctor appointments for me, my dad, and my daughter too. Life was in full swing on full speed and was fully taking me it every direction.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkhfPBzMwlY-kAMrtuGz7Rw7vlzNxyCgrs6-Ybaxv8-fC5NKp74-mHf91RBUazbZ5wDTAJoPL0rHi_0eOICwv04IcQ-5TNsm1vW1sF55ziVi6JH4dr0_kFwu6PGeN0OBuYtvi8zWdjbF55wSm_a8JTeGkEvM7gq5PeoBBiqt4Ehvj0r_Wsm_7dfzt10vnf/s1080/Untitled%20design%20(9).jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkhfPBzMwlY-kAMrtuGz7Rw7vlzNxyCgrs6-Ybaxv8-fC5NKp74-mHf91RBUazbZ5wDTAJoPL0rHi_0eOICwv04IcQ-5TNsm1vW1sF55ziVi6JH4dr0_kFwu6PGeN0OBuYtvi8zWdjbF55wSm_a8JTeGkEvM7gq5PeoBBiqt4Ehvj0r_Wsm_7dfzt10vnf/w149-h149/Untitled%20design%20(9).jpg" width="149" /></a></div><p>Then once it seemed somewhat manageable, my daughter and I were in a rearended. My son got sick. More hospital trips and doctor appointments. <span style="text-align: center;">And a ton of other life things happened too - </span></p><p style="text-align: center;">a reminder, all those things listed happened within a few months</p><p style="text-align: left;">So, I am for sure somewhat crazy in the head... however, one of those things did make me think I might not be as crazy as I thought. </p><p style="text-align: left;">When we were rearended, my husband was worried about both my daughter and myself and said we had to go to the hospital. She had hit head against the window next to her (and she was hurting). I had flung my head into my chest area (and I was hurting too). I am not going to get into all the car accident issues and the horrible day and night I had at the hospital with my daughter, myself, and my son... because we are still trying to figure out all the damage it caused (and it has been hard and sucky for my whole family for multiple issues). </p><p style="text-align: left;">But I will say, the hospital ran a number of tests. While sitting in my room, I had the normal thoughts that most people have while waiting. But as a cancer survivor, there is always a lingering, "Please, don't let there be anything suspicious." And for the first time in a long time, a doctor came into my room with the I need to talk to you serious look. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjNkchHZCG3V0xUoU5O0SAlCnxdAkC91_MZylRHdSICaUiEJqTizTXzWIHkNRjFSTeLiKJnmFMsJ6H3tGWHxQ0xoN_66BkNlKmczwP4XtqQZ1fnErmPWtdinzaDB_DTsTMdX3ewPKGLbzsAvRZ_EIeQRxEj2GPQTFl5I3aSE3dBF5LYlrrzu0KJ6EvMBAi/s1080/Untitled%20design%20(10).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Poops about to get real for Me & My Daughter" border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjNkchHZCG3V0xUoU5O0SAlCnxdAkC91_MZylRHdSICaUiEJqTizTXzWIHkNRjFSTeLiKJnmFMsJ6H3tGWHxQ0xoN_66BkNlKmczwP4XtqQZ1fnErmPWtdinzaDB_DTsTMdX3ewPKGLbzsAvRZ_EIeQRxEj2GPQTFl5I3aSE3dBF5LYlrrzu0KJ6EvMBAi/w230-h230/Untitled%20design%20(10).jpg" title="Me & My Daughter" width="230" /></a></div><div>He had the cautionary unsure look I have seen before. The look like, you better be sitting down because I have something to say look. I'm a parent - and gone through two rounds with teenagers - I'm a master of this look. </div><div><br /></div><div>He explained that I had some lymph nodes that looked suspicious, but no masses or tumors on my CT scan. There were issues with my axillary lymph nodes on my left side (a bunch of lymph nodes in my mesenteric and iliac... and a few other abnormal things). He says I need to call my Oncologist as he thinks I need a PET scan to be on the safe side. So, it wasn't bad bad news... but it was new news. </div><div><br /></div><div>I had a number of things show up on my scan. While some may be due to the accident, some may not be. I do know that just a few months ago I got the all clear on my mammogram and from the Oncologist during my regular check up appointments. And the last time I had CT scans done like this was in 2020 - none of these issues were on my scan. </div><div><br /></div><div>The last thing the nurse said to me as I was walking out was, "that car accident may be a blessing in disguise." Yikes, that didn't make me feel great. But it did make me leave the visit knowing it is time for me to do a bunch of calls and to not let this go.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqRrYXYg8Z444cXWGSaRn1SY3X4KfoNhxusiilGX6fF4g61tU-8o5MreQzNOllgcSNWvtMYZUzKDJJWj-QPot9UBARKwi_9SHogEGllNZufVsF24TVyMhNEUWzif6GrAiYVR6dxAuvAokbnQONLd6_O4l4DPyAFLWiI_rUN-PI8luI1STwvMVLKdOjJz_R/s1080/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(1).jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqRrYXYg8Z444cXWGSaRn1SY3X4KfoNhxusiilGX6fF4g61tU-8o5MreQzNOllgcSNWvtMYZUzKDJJWj-QPot9UBARKwi_9SHogEGllNZufVsF24TVyMhNEUWzif6GrAiYVR6dxAuvAokbnQONLd6_O4l4DPyAFLWiI_rUN-PI8luI1STwvMVLKdOjJz_R/s320/better%20to%20be%20safe%20than%20sorry%20(1).jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><div><div><div class="separator" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; clear: both; color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></div><p></p></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128918.780006163821156 -130.869141 65.400473836178847 -60.556641